The right time is never... right?

Lawman said:
I’m honestly thrilled for a girl.

First time around I was dragged kicking and screaming going I’m not able to do this but god please if I have to let it be a boy.... This time I’m like friggen bring it... I’ll teach her to braid hair, run a table saw, and help her pick out her lightsaber color because while my wife says she has to be a Disney Princess she didn’t say which Disney Princess.
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Yup. I’m going to make sure Ellie can outshoot all the boys :).
 
Lawman said:
Yeah... deployments and tequila.... makes for accidents which makes for babies.

We are just now far along enough where we’re comfortable telling people outside the need to know circle. Just because we’ve been through this before (where unfortunately many don’t realize how common it is) and not made it.

We’re both thrilled and my wife is already “dress shopping” for like the next 11 years of her life. After this though I’m taking the bullets out of the gun.
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Congrats!!!! That is just so awesome, really. So happy for both of you! No matter how old she gets, she'll always be your little girl. Forever.
 
Lawman said:
Got our third ultrasound yesterday.

Wasted no time in getting home from deployment. Need to start buying ammo for what I can only assume will be the sassyist of little girls.

She’s gonna be just like her mother.... only more successful at being manipulative.
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Congrats!!!
Mine has a four foot Darth Vader and a matching stormtrooper, but also be prepared for a boatload of My Little Pony. Matter of fact, start watching MLP now, it actually has a decent plot to it and all sorts of life lessons built in.
I popped the dvd in for a movie night once we found out we were having a girl, wife's initial reaction was dafuq, told her we gotta screen the cartoons for when the little girl arrives, thankfully ponies quickly replaced the whatever vampire BS she was killing her braincells with. Binged on the 4-5 or however many seasons were out at that time. Fun times.
 
BigZ said:
Congrats!!!
Mine has a four foot Darth Vader and a matching stormtrooper, but also be prepared for a boatload of My Little Pony. Matter of fact, start watching MLP now, it actually has a decent plot to it and all sorts of life lessons built in.
I popped the dvd in for a movie night once we found out we were having a girl, wife's initial reaction was dafuq, told her we gotta screen the cartoons for when the little girl arrives, thankfully ponies quickly replaced the whatever vampire BS she was killing her braincells with. Binged on the 4-5 or however many seasons were out at that time. Fun times.
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We’ve dodged MLP so far. We do a lot of PBS Kids stuff...curious George (which surprisingly teaches a lot of science and problem solving), Wild Kratts (animals), Nature Cat (more nature and animals), Word Girl (vocab/grammar). Also music-Peter Hollens and Piano Guys are two of our favorite channels.
 
Lawman said:
I’m honestly thrilled for a girl.

First time around I was dragged kicking and screaming going I’m not able to do this but god please if I have to let it be a boy.... This time I’m like friggen bring it... I’ll teach her to braid hair, run a table saw, and help her pick out her lightsaber color because while my wife says she has to be a Disney Princess she didn’t say which Disney Princess.
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Girls are great-up until about age 11 when you start being “daaaad *eyeroll” instead of “DADDY!!!! *jump up and down*”. Or so I’ve been told. For now I’m treasuring my 3 and 1 year olds...
 
Congrats to all new parents! A consolation prize to being parents is hopefully being grandparents. For myself, parenthood was all to often from a distance, yet if you're 'healthy, wealthy, and wise' and can retire early when you still have the vitality of doing all those great active things with your children and their children, as a grandparent of three for now 17 years, those seemingly lost years as a parent have long been forgotten.
 
JDean3204 said:
I know that I have become the king of long and drawn out posts lately. I usually get great advice from guys and gals I respect very much here in the JC community. So with that, here is my next family concern...KIDS

A little background about myself and my wife. We have been together for almost 10 years now. When she was 18 and I was 20, she moved all the way from our hometown in Oregon to Virginia to be with me. She has been by my side through two lengthy military deployments, the civilian flight training process and now during my regional airline days. She never has complained to me about it, always being supportive and happy seeing me grow as a pilot and a person. Even during my first gig where I made a miserable 16K in 2015, she didn't complain. In fact, she has taken this opportunity to grow herself professionally. She doesn't have a degree or anything, but a good work ethic has gotten her a stable county job that pays around 35-40K with amazing health benefits. I have known for years that I want to have children with my wife, but we've been waiting for me to reach a point where it makes sense.

My wife gets more and more passionate about the topic of children. In the last year I have been more open to talking about it, and we were planning on trying this summer for our first child. I was going to be based at home, and we were very excited to finally build our family. However, I unfortunately lost that job and found myself starting over again at another airline. I am now on the very tail end of training, I will be commuting again but it shouldn't be for too long I hope. A few months at the most. So we have decided to wait until the beginning of the year to start trying. She was my backbone the last few months, and never pressured me with family or kids while I dusted myself off and got back on the horse so to speak. At the same time she comes from a culture where let's just say people have kids generally sooner versus later in life. I am a few months from 30 and she is now 28. I know we're not old by any means, but we really didn't plan on leaving it this long. Most of our friends from the military have multiple children together now, her younger sisters have children and so I don't blame her for the baby fever she is experiencing lately. To be honest I feel the same way, I really want to wait until I upgrade, but that is a few years away and then... what will be my next thought process? Wait until I'm at a major, then wait until I upgrade at said major. The time will never feel right. I feel very selfish for being so concentrated on my career, that her dreams of being a mother have had to wait to come to fruition. It has lately taken a toll on me, and I have even thought about quitting flying to get a more stable job that may not pay as well in the future, but will be a good job to be a family man....Then my wife knocks some sense back into me and tells me that she would feel responsible if I quit flying. That I have worked way too hard and am way too much of a nerd to not fly for a living

Obviously money is always a concern when having children. We have worked extremely hard to pay off debt together and now have only the normal debt. Car payments, rent and associated costs, which are quite high in Portland these days. The rising Cost of Living stresses me out, it has risen furiously in the last few years. Our credit card debt and my "supplemental living expense debt" have been paid off thanks to some good bonus money. For the first time in five years, we have savings, not very much but better than living paycheck to paycheck like we have been. So we finally feel somewhat financially stable, but a child I feel will turn that upside down. Since I will be mostly gone for work, she will have to cut back most of her hours and work part time. She plans on working enough to keep those awesome health benefits. Although my airline pays pretty well for industry standards, it is still regional FO pay. About 40-50K for the next few years. That will be tough to live on if my wife cannot work I am sure, so that is one thing racing through my mind. I have asked a few pilot friends about this, they all say the same thing. They tell me to wait until I make it to a major, but who am I kidding. I have faced the music, with my roadblocks and a few marks, I am not a tier 1 candidate by any means. So it will take time for me to reach that step. I still need thousands of hours and a 4 year degree. If I am lucky, in 7 years I may be there. That will put me at 37 and my wife 35. if I wait that long I may not have a wife anymore, she has made it very clear she has patiently waited for me to reset and start a new career. She knows that we would have had a few kids by now if that new GI Bill didn't come out in 2009 giving me a chance to afford civilian flight training.

The one concern I have being a pilot besides the financial aspect is about being a good father. Knowing that I will be gone more than at home scares me. I know my wife is very independent right now by her self, but will that change with kids? Will she resent me for going to work? Will my kids resent me for being gone, at times missing important milestones? I am grateful for having a good father growing up. He was my little league coach, he was at every wrestling tournament and always made sure I was doing well. My parents didn't make much money and never could have afforded to put me through state college let alone a college like ERAU or UND, and I knew that. They did raise me to dream big though, that is why I am where I am now. It may have taken me a while to get here, but I made it and my parents are more proud of me now than ever. That is because of them, and I want to raise my kids with that same mentality, to be as much as an influence on them as my folks have been on me. I know these are all issues that one has to tackle upon news of their first child, at that point there is no turning back and it's time to be a man or woman and be the best parent you can be. I just want to hear from someone that had kids in the early stages of their career and made it work. Hearing how they balanced it all out to be both successful as a pilot and a father/mother will be great to hear.
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I see this post is a little old. You may have kids already! I think being a pilot is tough with kids but it also happens to be the best job you could possibly have with children. I’m to a point where I hold 16-18 days off a month. Tell me another father (employed) that is able to spend that much time with his child. I also have zero liabilities to my company when I’m off. It’s tough, but great. Good luck!
 
AAPalmTree said:
I see this post is a little old. You may have kids already! I think being a pilot is tough with kids but it also happens to be the best job you could possibly have with children. I’m to a point where I hold 16-18 days off a month. Tell me another father (employed) that is able to spend that much time with his child. I also have zero liabilities to my company when I’m off. It’s tough, but great. Good luck!
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Whether your life focus is kids, travel, drunkenness, or midget bowling you can’t beat the QOL on days off with this industry. There is definitely some suck, but when you end up at the right place it’s golden.
 
AAPalmTree said:
I see this post is a little old. You may have kids already! I think being a pilot is tough with kids but it also happens to be the best job you could possibly have with children. I’m to a point where I hold 16-18 days off a month. Tell me another father (employed) that is able to spend that much time with his child. I also have zero liabilities to my company when I’m off. It’s tough, but great. Good luck!
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The little guy is six weeks away, it’s getting close!
 
Congrats! Only about 20 more years (give or take) until your sanity has a chance of returning.
This is how we felt when our last one finally moved out:

freedom.jpg
 
Nah... kids are the greatest thing ever

Had a plan to fly mine over to FL yesterday.
Last day of reserve before a block of days off, scored the morning availability period (4am to 6pm), all the open trips are later in the day, one mx flight in the morning to be covered by someone junior to me - sweet.
4.50pm flight wide open, threw the vacation passes at it for good measure anyways.
4.30am crew scheduling calls, we have a quick turn for you. Great, what time am I getting back? 10.50am. Enough time to go back, change, help pack the kids and catch our flight.
Do the turn, voicemail from CS and another turn on the schedule, should be landing as our flight to FL is taxiing out. Ugh. Find a gate agent, she's new. Together figure out a way to roll us over to the next flight, which is booked pretty solid. Go fly the turn, get fueled too much at the outstation, brand new CA, together figure how not to offload anyone from the plane, fly low and burn like crazy on the way back to be within the weight limit for landing. CA offered to do the walk around, nah, I got this, plenty of time. Run out of the terminal, grab the kids the wife brought, make our way through security, make our flight, negotiate peace on the flight for three hours, try to keep them reasonably calm once at the grandparents, put them to bed.
Blessing, I tell ya.

20180604_094049.jpg
 
Low&Slow said:
I remember when mine were that little and we were still that young. Great times. Enjoy it, time flies by so fast.
Next thing you know, your babies are having babies and you are the holiday vacation host.
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Thanks, I'm enjoying every minute of it.
 
I just saw this - I am not a pilot so take it for what it is worth. My wife and I had our first kid when we were still in college. We have maxed out credit cards, had $13 for one Christmas, gained and lost jobs - everything always worked out. If you want kids, have them.
 
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