Changing careers with a young family

[future pilot]

Hi All, I’ve been a long time member around here but have mostly been a lurker for the last few years. This topic gets discussed fairly often but hoping to get some advice to help me make a decision based on my specific circumstance. A few years back, I started training with the full intention of making it to the airlines. To make a very long story short, lack of money and a deferred medical put the goal on the back burner. I’m now 31, have a new job that I somewhat enjoy that pays very well and a baby girl on the way (Wife and I’s first). Ever since we found out my wife is pregnant, I can’t stop thinking about how I gave up on something that has been a goal since I was a kid.

In the essence of getting to the point… I’m kicking around the idea of re-applying for my medical and IF granted (AME is fairly confident I will get it) pursuing training again. My wife is on board with the idea so long as family comes first. She is fully aware of the demands of the career. I travel quite a bit for work as it is so this would likely not be too much of a change. My plan is to train part time through at least Instrument, from there I can re-assess if I want to transition to full time. Has anyone done their training while managing a full time job and newborn/infant? If so, I would greatly appreciate any words of wisdom you have. I’ve also been reading that the job market is restricting and low time, time building jobs are harder to come by. Nobody here has a crystal ball but I am curious what everyone’s thoughts are on the future of pilot hiring. Lastly… am I crazy for wanting to do this?

 

[DE727UPS]

For sure try to get the medical back to start with. Your stated plan sounds good. You might want to take a look at an aircraft partnership in a training aircraft or a flying club. Maybe even buy a plane if the right thing comes along. As far as time building goes, getting the CFI and instructing is still how most do it. You could use your own plane for that, or be an active member in a flying club. Like you say, it's hard to predict the future. The crazy hiring environment has to slow down. I do think that many kids getting into the biz now via the R-ATP programs aren't grounded or educated on the history of the career. I think if the crap hits the fan, they are furloughed, maybe contracts get gutted again, they will be gone never to come back. While those who stick it out will see the inevitable upswings. They key for you is your have something else that's working for you as a career. Never let that go completely, if you can. Keep your nose in it and keep active with contacts. I don't think you're crazy. The career has a lot of alure to it. Probably as much as any career there is outside professional sports and rock star. Some of that is unfounded and some of it will wear off after time. For me, the key is how much do you love flying. Operating aviation appliances. You might be able to meet some of that by owning a plane and instructing in it and leave it at that. But don't walk away from what you're doing now until you can make the same flying.

 

[N826AW]

If your daughter was 31 and came to you asking for the same advice, you'd tell her to follow her heart. Sit down with your wife, build a realistic plan that gets you back into flying and keeps your marriage intact. The NEVER look back. And network, network, network. The good news is you've found the right for that.

 

[future pilot]

For sure try to get the medical back to start with. Your stated plan sounds good. You might want to take a look at an aircraft partnership in a training aircraft or a flying club. Maybe even buy a plane if the right thing comes along. As far as time building goes, getting the CFI and instructing is still how most do it. You could use your own plane for that, or be an active member in a flying club. Like you say, it's hard to predict the future. The crazy hiring environment has to slow down. I do think that many kids getting into the biz now via the R-ATP programs aren't grounded or educated on the history of the career. I think if the crap hits the fan, they are furloughed, maybe contracts get gutted again, they will be gone never to come back. While those who stick it out will see the inevitable upswings. They key for you is your have something else that's working for you as a career. Never let that go completely, if you can. Keep your nose in it and keep active with contacts. I don't think you're crazy. The career has a lot of alure to it. Probably as much as any career there is outside professional sports and rock star. Some of that is unfounded and some of it will wear off after time. For me, the key is how much do you love flying. Operating aviation appliances. You might be able to meet some of that by owning a plane and instructing in it and leave it at that. But don't walk away from what you're doing now until you can make the same flying.

Thank you for the advice! I am definitely planning on staying at my current job as long as possible. I am extremely fortunate that I control my schedule for the most part which should help a lot when it comes to scheduling training flights. I guess my biggest concern is juggling flight training with a baby and a full time job. Nothing that’s worth having comes easy though so ill be damned if I don’t find a way to make it work.

 

[future pilot]

If your daughter was 31 and came to you asking for the same advice, you'd tell her to follow your heart.

Wow, that one hit me. Thank you for this.

 

[PGT]

If your daughter was 31 and came to you asking for the same advice, you'd tell her to follow your heart.

I disagree; it's great to "follow your heart" but your family is making REAL sacrifices for you to "follow a passion". You will be gone a lot, your daughter will grow up with a part-time father and your family will likely be financially worse in the short term (10-15 years) while you pursue this passion. By the time you're actually making good money and a seniority your child will leave the house.

Someone who left a nice gig to go fly, but is likely going back to the business world this year.

 

[Beaker]

It is important to be honest with yourself. If every day you think about flying and find yourself spending your valuable spare time lurking on an aviation forum, then you should probably consider how to incorporate flying into your life. So at that big picture level, from what you shared, the answer is yes, this is something you should pursue if the medical issue is resolved. However, there is much to consider regarding when and how you go about it.

I will be honest with you. Caring for a baby over that first year while both my wife and I worked full-time jobs was brutal. It is one of those experiences that you cannot comprehend until you live it. We had poor sleepers and would take 2-3 hour shifts through the night holding them, walking them back and forth across the family room so they could sleep in our arms, as they simply would not sleep on the their own in the crib. Then after a night of that we went to work to solve all the work problems only to come home and do it all over again. There is no time to make it to the airport for a flight lesson when you are in this all out war of survival, nor can I imagine it would be safe.

That phase doesn't last forever. It gets better a little bit at a time, and somewhere along the way, certainly by 1-2 years in, you will be so enamored with your child that you will be stupid enough to do it all again with #2. Of course, every couple's experiences are different. Some people have happy babies who are great sleepers; some people stay in the neo-natal ICU for months before they even get to go home. Point being, you are about to experience a great change in your life, one that is unlike any that you have experienced to date.

By all means, chase down the medical, look at training options, and start studying. Just wait to make any big moves until you are parent and know what you are dealing with. For my part, I am doing a career change at 40 with kids who are 4 and 8. My wife supports me making this change now. She absolutely would not have supported it when we had a newborn. The kids keep me busy but it is nothing like the newborn baby phase. I have enough savings such that I can train full-time, but at a pace that allows me to do all the dad stuff and live a healthy lifestyle. Once I obtain an airline job, my wife will be able to step back from her job and think about her next chapter, so she wins too. And if at any point we feel like it isn't what we thought it would be, and there is no clear path to getting there, then I can walk away and continue with my old line of work, where I still maintain a presence.

To end on a positive note, I am enjoying my flight training and have zero regrets about pursuing the career change so far. You should pursue it too. Just think long and hard about how to get there, because it's about a lot more than you now.

 

[AA34]

I feel like you've heard both ends of the spectrum from @N826AW and @PGT and as a 37 year old about to finally finish my CFI I bounce back and forth between which of the two I see "correct". Part of me wishes I had pulled the trigger when I was 31 like you but we had our child who is now 5 and I couldn't imagine having missed significant time during those years.

I can tell you without question that you will want to be around for every second of their life when they are young. One to be helpful and a good father, but two because it's hard to describe the kind of joy those moments will bring. And, say it all works out and you're 60 at your dream flying job, I would bet that feeling of achievement will pale in comparison to the joy you experienced being there when your child was young.

Working through your ratings, CFI'ing, then likely being on a regional schedule will certainly keep you busy but only you know how that will impact your specific situation.

Now, the conflicting part. Because I waited until now to make the jump professionally I would encourage you to not waste time if you decide that training and family life can go hand in hand. I am now behind a giant period of unprecedented hiring at the airlines which is my ultimate goal. Part of me has a huge doubt about the viability getting into the airline world now with how many people in their 20s have been hired ahead of me. But I have been hit with this bug I can't shake that tells me I at least have to give it my best shot now, or never.

So I don't think you're crazy at all. And if you are then sign me up for crazy as well.

 

[AA34]

Someone who left a nice gig to go fly, but is likely going back to the business world this year.

Care to share more? Appears a few on this page going the other direction and maybe the transparency would be helpful.

 

[future pilot]

It is important to be honest with yourself. If every day you think about flying and find yourself spending your valuable spare time lurking on an aviation forum, then you should probably consider how to incorporate flying into your life. So at that big picture level, from what you shared, the answer is yes, this is something you should pursue if the medical issue is resolved. However, there is much to consider regarding when and how you go about it.

I will be honest with you. Caring for a baby over that first year while both my wife and I worked full-time jobs was brutal. It is one of those experiences that you cannot comprehend until you live it. We had poor sleepers and would take 2-3 hour shifts through the night holding them, walking them back and forth across the family room so they could sleep in our arms, as they simply would not sleep on the their own in the crib. Then after a night of that we went to work to solve all the work problems only to come home and do it all over again. There is no time to make it to the airport for a flight lesson when you are in this all out war of survival, nor can I imagine it would be safe.

That phase doesn't last forever. It gets better a little bit at a time, and somewhere along the way, certainly by 1-2 years in, you will be so enamored with your child that you will be stupid enough to do it all again with #2. Of course, every couple's experiences are different. Some people have happy babies who are great sleepers; some people stay in the neo-natal ICU for months before they even get to go home. Point being, you are about to experience a great change in your life, one that is unlike any that you have experienced to date.

By all means, chase down the medical, look at training options, and start studying. Just wait to make any big moves until you are parent and know what you are dealing with. For my part, I am doing a career change at 40 with kids who are 4 and 8. My wife supports me making this change now. She absolutely would not have supported it when we had a newborn. The kids keep me busy but it is nothing like the newborn baby phase. I have enough savings such that I can train full-time, but at a pace that allows me to do all the dad stuff and live a healthy lifestyle. Once I obtain an airline job, my wife will be able to step back from her job and think about her next chapter, so she wins too. And if at any point we feel like it isn't what we thought it would be, and there is no clear path to getting there, then I can walk away and continue with my old line of work, where I still maintain a presence.

To end on a positive note, I am enjoying my flight training and have zero regrets about pursuing the career change so far. You should pursue it too. Just think long and hard about how to get there, because it's about a lot more than you now.

Thank you for the perspective. I have no fantasies that caring for our daughter in the first year will be easy. Knowing how slow the FAA moves, im sure she will be at least a few months old by the time I am able to obtain my medical again (again, big IF). As of now, I'm going into it with the mindset of getting my PPL and seeing what happens from there.

I feel like you've heard both ends of the spectrum from @N826AW and @PGT and as a 37 year old about to finally finish my CFI I bounce back and forth between which of the two I see "correct". Part of me wishes I had pulled the trigger when I was 31 like you but we had our child who is now 5 and I couldn't imagine having missed significant time during those years.

I can tell you without question that you will want to be around for every second of their life when they are young. One to be helpful and a good father, but two because it's hard to describe the kind of joy those moments will bring. And, say it all works out and you're 60 at your dream flying job, I would bet that feeling of achievement will pale in comparison to the joy you experienced being there when your child was young.

Working through your ratings, CFI'ing, then likely being on a regional schedule will certainly keep you busy but only you know how that will impact your specific situation.

Now, the conflicting part. Because I waited until now to make the jump professionally I would encourage you to not waste time if you decide that training and family life can go hand in hand. I am now behind a giant period of unprecedented hiring at the airlines which is my ultimate goal. Part of me has a huge doubt about the viability getting into the airline world now with how many people in their 20s have been hired ahead of me. But I have been hit with this bug I can't shake that tells me I at least have to give it my best shot now, or never.

So I don't think you're crazy at all. And if you are then sign me up for crazy as well.

Thank you for the perspective. Something I tend to be guilty of is wanting to time everything perfectly. For now, it seems both of us missed the "big" hiring wave. We could wake up tomorrow and that could be completely different. I'm just going to control what I can control and hope that everything works out.

 

[Nihon_Ni]

When I was 40, I was positioning myself to transition to the airlines when I left the military. Then I got a gig flying a UC-12 a few times a week, and the shine started to wear off of the airline dream in short order. At that time, the regional starting pay was terrible, and I decided to pursue business instead of the airlines. I kept my hand in flying, both in the volunteer and corporate worlds, and now I have a great balance of flying and office, and I really enjoy both of them. Honestly, if I fly corporate more than a few times a month I find it really boring. I am thankful I never jumped to the airlines as I don't think I would have enjoyed it and worse, I would have forfeited my opportunity at my current company. I'm active pilot in a volunteer group and we fly warbird rides and airshows about 15-18 weekends/year between April and Nov. I find that flying much more fulfilling than droning in a straight line with the autopilot on. Everyone has their own interests, and mine are much different than most people on this forum, but I just thought I'd offer my perspective. YMMV. There are as many ways to be involved in aviation as there are people. It's only limited by your imagination.

 

[AA34]

Something I tend to be guilty of is wanting to time everything perfectly.

Lol same!
Hence our ages…

 

[AA34]

When I was 40, I was positioning myself to transition to the airlines when I left the military. Then I got a gig flying a UC-12 a few times a week, and the shine started to wear off of the airline dream in short order. At that time, the regional starting pay was terrible, and I decided to pursue business instead of the airlines. I kept my hand in flying, both in the volunteer and corporate worlds, and now I have a great balance of flying and office, and I really enjoy both of them. Honestly, if I fly corporate more than a few times a month I find it really boring. I am thankful I never jumped to the airlines as I don't think I would have enjoyed it and worse, I would have forfeited my opportunity at my current company. I'm active pilot in a volunteer group and we fly warbird rides and airshows about 15-18 weekends/year between April and Nov. I find that flying much more fulfilling than droning in a straight line with the autopilot on. Everyone has their own interests, and mine are much different than most people on this forum, but I just thought I'd offer my perspective. YMMV. There are as many ways to be involved in aviation as there are people. It's only limited by your imagination.

Great point.

 

[galleycartinop]

Hi All, I’ve been a long time member around here but have mostly been a lurker for the last few years. This topic gets discussed fairly often but hoping to get some advice to help me make a decision based on my specific circumstance. A few years back, I started training with the full intention of making it to the airlines. To make a very long story short, lack of money and a deferred medical put the goal on the back burner. I’m now 31, have a new job that I somewhat enjoy that pays very well and a baby girl on the way (Wife and I’s first). Ever since we found out my wife is pregnant, I can’t stop thinking about how I gave up on something that has been a goal since I was a kid.

In the essence of getting to the point… I’m kicking around the idea of re-applying for my medical and IF granted (AME is fairly confident I will get it) pursuing training again. My wife is on board with the idea so long as family comes first. She is fully aware of the demands of the career. I travel quite a bit for work as it is so this would likely not be too much of a change. My plan is to train part time through at least Instrument, from there I can re-assess if I want to transition to full time. Has anyone done their training while managing a full time job and newborn/infant? If so, I would greatly appreciate any words of wisdom you have. I’ve also been reading that the job market is restricting and low time, time building jobs are harder to come by. Nobody here has a crystal ball but I am curious what everyone’s thoughts are on the future of pilot hiring. Lastly… am I crazy for wanting to do this?

If you find that for whatever reason you are unable to get your medical, but you still really want to work in aviation, I would recommend looking into becoming a dispatcher. Much shorter training, and unless you are commuting to work, you get to be home every night sleeping in your own bed. Plus as an added bonus, you'd still get the ability to jumpseat up in the cockpit.