Homeschooling

[WacoFan]

Just wanting to get the general thoughts about homeschooling. Does anyone do it? How do you like it? More importantly, how do your children like it?

My wife and I are struggling with the decision for our daughter. I am nervous about it - my daughter has special educational needs and neither of us are educators. We certainly don't want to blow this decision as an education is the most important thing we can give Maggie.

 

[MQAAord]

Both our boys have issues that have made schooling "interesting".... Thankfully the preschool that they attended is so uber-patient with them, and now that our older one has entered the public school system he's able to get some help from professionals that I think has really made a difference for him.

I think whether or not to homeschool or get them into a school system, either a parochial or public system is very much a child-individual thing, especially for kids who may have some special needs.

Speaking totally personally, and NOT in any way trying to tell you what to do or anything, I felt it best for our kids to get them into the school system. The preschool is a church school program, they do mother's-day-out, junior-preschool, preschool and starting next year they'll do a Kindergarten program too. They're very patient, and was good for the both of them to get them out and around other kids. I'm not a very social person, so being home with me they didn't have a lot of exposure to other kids and I think learning social skills is something that they really needed to be around other kids for.

With our older son entering the public school system this year (kindergarten), he's been able to participate in special services/early intervention that I think will eliminate the need for further services down the road. Getting him out with other kids, into a good school system (the HSE district is a very good school district), has been good for him. We're all very confident in his future, and helping him early will help him to NOT need those special services as he gets older & matures.

I'm no children's educator. I don't have the patience for it, as they get older my ability to teach them math, in particular, will fail them and will not give them the education they need. This is entirely a personal issue though, and has no bearing on whether or not I think someone else should home-school.

Depending on your child's needs, and you and your wife's abilities, homeschooling may be the better option. There is a TON of homeschooling support and information available online these days.

So, that's my thoughts as a mom with two boys who need a little extra "help" in some ways too.

 

[Kristie]

There's a good amount of teachers and a few parents who home school over on jetgirls if you want to get more opinions

 

[skydog]

I think the place to start with this question is to first discuss what is driving your consideration of home schooling. Shedding some light on that will, I think, make the decision making easier.

 

[Roger, Roger]

I was homeschooled all the way up until college. I think it was by far the best way for me.

 

[WacoFan]

I think the place to start with this question is to first discuss what is driving your consideration of home schooling. Shedding some light on that will, I think, make the decision making easier.

My daughter has special educational needs in that she is freakishly intelligent. Let me say off the bat, my wife and I are NOT the people that run around saying "my daughter is sooo gifted" - we only want for her to be healthy and happy. That said, she has scored exceptionally well on standardized tests, the latest being her Iowa Basic Skills test. She scored in the 99th percentile on all of the categories, her stanines were all nine, and her grade equivalent scores were Freshman in high school at the low end, to 13.8 on the high end. She just turned 11 and is in 5th grade. She is an atypical "gifted" child in that she is extroverted and outgoing. She has always had social issues with her peer group however. Kids that are a couple years older and up are great - she does well. Kids in her own class pick on her, and frankly, she thinks they are all idiots anyway. We have progressively moved through many of the private schools KC has to offer in search of a curriculum that is rigorous enough for her. She has also been placed two grades ahead in math - but she is still coasting. Her pediatrician has recommended a shrink that works with kids like her, and she has asked us to get her IQ tests. They have also gotten her involved in the Duke TIP (Talent Identification Program). On from there, they have suggested homeschooling as a possible way to advance her curriculum. I am leery of this for a couple reasons, not the least of which is my ability to oversee this and also my ability to agree with my wife in the course of educating Maggie.

We are blessed to have these issues...but they are definitely issues. I consider a gifted kid special needs - they are far off the norm, and have a very hard time assimilating to "normal" education.

That is the background. Thanks to all for your responses.

 

[Fly_Unity]

I was home schooled, And I appreciate the fact my parents did this for me!

It also think it brings responsibility at a younger age, and brings your talents out of you more, instead of doing just what your school or peers do. My siblings and cousins who were home schooled are far ahead of the rest of their peers in responsibility, work ethics, morals.

Parents don't need to be educators. My parents came from public schools, and we passed their skill level like in 8th grade, we used a self paced curriculum that that made it very easy on our parents. They mostly just motivated us and that was it. We also joined a big home school group that did weekly sports and field trips etc.

I got 9 siblings and everyone of them are VERY successful in their careers, and love what they do.

 

[Ian_J]

Waco - there's no realistic reason I should feel this, but I understand how you feel. The weight of that responsibility seems tough to manage. Best of luck with your research and coming to a decision.

 

[WacoFan]

Waco - there's no realistic reason I should feel this, but I understand how you feel. The weight of that responsibility seems tough to manage. Best of luck with your research and coming to a decision.

Thank you - it is the largest source of stress in our household. We don't want to blow this. The shrink, with her IQ tests, etc also give us pause. We are certainly not interested in Maggie knowing "the number" whatever it may be. Can't see a "win" there - if it is high, she will be full of herself (even more than she already is), but if it is lower than she would want, it would really kill the main source of her self-esteem. That is why we haven't done the test to this point, however the shrink says that it will provide a roadmap for the kind of education she should have. Also, given her problems with her peer group (her age) and her ability to only be comfortable around older kids/adults, I am afraid that she would never be able to socialize properly with kids.

 

[skydog]

First of all, good on you for recognizing your daughter's educational needs and doing what you can to accomodate them. It's also good that your are ensuring that she is constantly being challenged in schools. It's been shown that gifted kids who are not challenged sometimes do not do very well in school. Its so easy for them that they become bored with it. Some even drop out.

Have you considered schools for gifted students? The Illinois Mathematics and Science Academy is one example. It is a publicly funded school for gifted students. I know you don't live in IL, but I would immagine Kansas (you are from Kansas right?) must have something similar.

Placement in such a school might help with the social issues as well. In her current setting, other kids have problems relating to her because her abilities make her differnnt. Different is feared and ridiculed. Putting her into a school like I mentioned would place her in a peer group where she doesn't stand out, and where she would be challenged.

Talk to the school principle, administrators, and/or school psychologists. These are the people who can figure out what your child's needs are and reccomend appropriate placement.

Good Luck and congrats!

 

[Roger, Roger]

With her intelligence, homeschooling is ideal. If your daughter already thinks kids her age are idiots, just wait until high school, when they ARE all idiots.

I was in a similar situation (similar Iowa test scores, etc.) and was homeschooled all through high school. It worked out really well for me. I ended up graduating college summa cum laude. I was also able to work various part time jobs, participate in CAP, learn to fly, and take college classes, all while in high school.

It worked out very well for me and I would not want to do it any other way.

 

[USMCmech]

My mom was a teacher, and she freely admited hat they teach for the middle 70%. The top 10 is seriously under challanged, and the bottom 20% is left behind. It's the nature of public shooling.

If you do, there is a ton of support on the internet. Regulations vary considerably from sate to state.

I've looked into it since I want to take our kids sailig around the world, and it looks like there are serious challanges as well as rewards. Everyone I spoke to said that they typically get done in 3-4 hours, what takes all day in a classroom.

 

[jd117]

I've been homeschooled since the seventh grade. While there's a lot of positives that people have touched on, make sure that your kids have an opportunity to be around a lot of other people their age. There's usually a lot of homeschooling groups, but you may want to check them out first. A lot of the ones around my area gave off the whole "fundamentalist Christian" vibe or were tied to religion in some other way. Which is fine, but it's just not my thing. I know it's fairly obvious that kids need to have peers but I can't stress it enough, since my social life wasn't taken into consideration heavily enough before I made the decision to leave public school. While it's been great in almost every aspect, and I was able to get into aviation and earn my pilot's license mainly because I had more time and energy to devote to flying. But there's a huge part of me that can't help but feel that I've missed out on some pretty important things like going out with friends and having a good time while I'm young. I've been better about it in the past couple years but it's something I've regretted missing out on in my teenage years. Just something for consideration.

 

[WacoFan]

First of all, good on you for recognizing your daughter's educational needs and doing what you can to accomodate them. It's also good that your are ensuring that she is constantly being challenged in schools. It's been shown that gifted kids who are not challenged sometimes do not do very well in school. Its so easy for them that they become bored with it. Some even drop out.

Have you considered schools for gifted students? The Illinois Mathematics and Science Academy is one example. It is a publicly funded school for gifted students. I know you don't live in IL, but I would immagine Kansas (you are from Kansas right?) must have something similar.

Placement in such a school might help with the social issues as well. In her current setting, other kids have problems relating to her because her abilities make her differnnt. Different is feared and ridiculed. Putting her into a school like I mentioned would place her in a peer group where she doesn't stand out, and where she would be challenged.

Talk to the school principle, administrators, and/or school psychologists. These are the people who can figure out what your child's needs are and reccomend appropriate placement.

Good Luck and congrats!

We have looked into Gifted Schools, but Kansas City has some pretty limited options, and no true "gifted School". We have her enrolled in a Classical School which is great, but even they are stretched with her. We like the Classical curriculum a lot. She loves Latin. We are actually considering moving to Dallas, which would offer much more in the way of educational opportunities. We are currently thinking a University model school - three days at school, the rest of the time home would be a good comprimise and Dallas has some exceptional ones. That is the problem with KC - not a great private school town. The gifted programs at the public schools are good, but far less than she currently gets in private school which we are finding to be not enough.

 

[WacoFan]

Thanks to those that are replying that have been homeschooled - I was hoping that some of the crowd here had been homeschooled. My fear with homeschooling is centered around my worry about screwing up in the teaching process. I am not sure that the father/daughter dynamic that we have would be able to translate into a sucessful student/teacher dynamic. You guys were lucky to have parents that were obviously well suited to the task!

 

[TheShortOne]

Waco, I don't have any knowledge of homeschooling and educating your children in that manner, however, in my line of work I do work with kids who have been "taught" by their parents. (I realize the situations are not analogous, but work with me ) A lot of the time the parents give up on teaching the kid(s) themselves and send them off to lessons because the kid doesn't respect the parent as a teacher and/or the parent can't relate to the kid in such a way that the child can understand the idea that is being taught and then the parent (and kid too) both get frustrated and end up fighting.

The not respecting the parent as a teacher idea is a little bit strange for some people to comprehend, but I think in most kids' minds the two things are totally separate issues. In the same way the kid says to the teacher "you're not my mom" they say to the parent "You're not my teacher!"


With a very gifted child such as your daughter I would really look into keeping her in some sort of school situation mostly for the social aspects of it, because I would be afraid of her just shunning everyone else in this world as a moron as she grows older and realizes that compared to her, we all are! It doesn't bode well then for career prospects in the future if she can't relate to others. It sounds like she's good for now, i'd just be worried about her becoming withdrawn from society and people around her if she is in fact, home schooled.

Good luck though man, it's a difficult situation to be in!

 

[WacoFan]

Waco, I don't have any knowledge of homeschooling and educating your children in that manner, however, in my line of work I do work with kids who have been "taught" by their parents. (I realize the situations are not analogous, but work with me ) A lot of the time the parents give up on teaching the kid(s) themselves and send them off to lessons because the kid doesn't respect the parent as a teacher and/or the parent can't relate to the kid in such a way that the child can understand the idea that is being taught and then the parent (and kid too) both get frustrated and end up fighting.

The not respecting the parent as a teacher idea is a little bit strange for some people to comprehend, but I think in most kids' minds the two things are totally separate issues. In the same way the kid says to the teacher "you're not my mom" they say to the parent "You're not my teacher!"


With a very gifted child such as your daughter I would really look into keeping her in some sort of school situation mostly for the social aspects of it, because I would be afraid of her just shunning everyone else in this world as a moron as she grows older and realizes that compared to her, we all are! It doesn't bode well then for career prospects in the future if she can't relate to others. It sounds like she's good for now, i'd just be worried about her becoming withdrawn from society and people around her if she is in fact, home schooled.

Good luck though man, it's a difficult situation to be in!

Thank you - these are some of the issues I am worried about. That, and my limited teaching ability. Not sure I have the patience to be a teacher. Also, I don't want my daughter to begin to feel that home is school. We do work with her at home - checking math homework and other projects, but "home" is a refuge for her. I never liked the idea of working at home because home becomes the office at some point and you are never away from work - don't want that to happen to Maggie.

 

[WacoFan]

Oh...and one more thing. In my original post, I stated that Maggie has some "special educational needs". I am always kind of amused at the parents we meet that are constantly bragging about their "gifted" children. It is my belief (and my wifes) that gifted kids are "special needs" children in many ways.

If you have a kid who is slower than most, that child is "x" distance below the average intelligence. If you have a bright child, that kid is "x" distance above the average intelligence. Either way, the kids are far off the norm and must be treated differently than the average. Just because your kid is on the "plus" side of the curve, it doesn't make a parents responsibilities or work load any different. In fact, I sometimes think that bright children are more difficult to deal with. They have the ability to absorb facts, but do not have the emotional IQ or the broad knowledge content to properly digest the facts they so readily absorb. We have some friends with children with learning disabilities and kids who are slow. There are many similarities in their struggles and ours.

 

[BoomerSooner77]

I finally convinced my Mom to let me do some "home school". It was a complete waste of time for me to go sit in a classroom for 7 hours a day when I would lose interest because the teacher's would 'dumb it down' if you will and had to keep explaining things over and over for people. It drove me nuts... I would completely tune out and just teach myself when I got home. I'd just go by the syllabus and work well ahead by several weeks. If you have a good textbook and you are in the top 10% if you will, it's easy to self teach... having your parent help or teach you is not needed.

I only wish I had been able to do that much earlier, say around 6th grade, I could have finished my state requirements to graduate by 15-16 instead of 18.

I did mine through correspondence courses at OU, you pay for the classes and books and they send you the course guide, text books, worksheets. You send the stuff back when you've completed your assignments and then they grade them, send them back to you with corrections. You study the sections for whatever test and I would just go over to OU and take my test.

If it helps at all... you could really tell the difference in my Soc. Studies/History grades (went from low Bs to high As) and most dramatically my English/Literature (went from low Cs and Ds to mid As).

 

[Fly_Unity]

Oh...and one more thing. In my original post, I stated that Maggie has some "special educational needs". I am always kind of amused at the parents we meet that are constantly bragging about their "gifted" children. It is my belief (and my wifes) that gifted kids are "special needs" children in many ways.

If you have a kid who is slower than most, that child is "x" distance below the average intelligence. If you have a bright child, that kid is "x" distance above the average intelligence. Either way, the kids are far off the norm and must be treated differently than the average. Just because your kid is on the "plus" side of the curve, it doesn't make a parents responsibilities or work load any different. In fact, I sometimes think that bright children are more difficult to deal with. They have the ability to absorb facts, but do not have the emotional IQ or the broad knowledge content to properly digest the facts they so readily absorb. We have some friends with children with learning disabilities and kids who are slow. There are many similarities in their struggles and ours.

I don't think there is no such thing as an average kid, someone who is slower at one thing usually makes it up somewhere else. My sister could not talk till she was 3 years old, she learned sign language, and she could read before she talked. She eventually learned to talk, but she is 6 years old, and already in 4th grade. This would not be possible in public school because they "force" you to be just like everyone else. my one brother is currently 15 and is 3 grades behind. Hes slower at school, but however he will get through eventually, and he does wood working and builds cabinets better then most pofessional cabinet makers. Public school would have considered him a failure and he would have never found his talent.

Private or Christian schools is much better then public schools IMO if homeschooling is not an option. But that's just my opinion. :nana2: