The answer is this: If she was willing to let you leave for an undetermined length of time, and apparently didn't feel the need or desire to go with you, then that's when she lost faith in you. I can't imagine that any woman who was committed to her husband and family would allow herself to be separated from her husband under the circumstances you described.
Nor can I believe that any committed husband would even think of leaving his wife and family behind under those same circumstances.
The way I see it, however important your wife may be to you, it seems your flying career was more important.
As a married (happily so!) woman, I can agree with what you wrote if, and only if, the time is in fact "undetermined." That is, if Ian were to say, "Kris, I gotta go do this thing. I could be gone two months, I could be gone ten years. I really don't know," I might think he was a little too okay with leaving me.
On the other hand, if there were something he needed to do for himself, for me to say "No! I must be with you!" and, in effect, keep him from trying to achieve his goals or see his dreams through, that would not be love. That would be selfishness. The same would hold true were he to try to keep me from achieving my goals or dreams just so we could be in close physical proximity.
That someone has things s/he wants to do with her/his life doesn't mean those things are more important than the love interest - they can easily be equally important. How strong can we be as individuals if we forsake our own needs and give up on what we hope to do just so we can be a couple? And what kind of person would ask someone to not do something they love?
Isn't the best part of being in a relationship that you have someone who loves you and wants to see you do things that make you happy?
