Firebird2XC
Well-Known Member
Pilots: Your Ego and You (and me!)
Or
“What Paying It Forward Means to Me”
I’ve been trying to speak a little less and listen a little more, lately, but this one’s got me pacing the floor of my layover hotel room like a tiger locked in the bathroom at Network JC, so I’m gonna let it out.
A very wise person once told me that pilots are “eternal malcontents.” They’re rarely happy, and when they are, it’s somewhat fleeting. Always chasing that next rating, upgrade, job, or pay raise. Always seeking to be the top of the pile. Always seeking to make sure everybody else knows it.
A longer conversation on the subject yielded the idea that while pilots never seem to be consistently content, it’s the pursuit of those rare moments of contentedness in between that keep them going. It drives a cycle. Happy for a short time, pilots will eventually begin to brood about how things aren’t quite as they should be and start looking for whatever they think they need to be happy again.
Pilots do have moments in their day to day when things are quiet in their mind. That’s why pilots love airplanes, it was determined. They’re the one thing that require our attention so focused on the ‘here and now’ that there’s no real time to think about the things that aren’t quite satisfying their ego. Takeoffs are good and landings are best, level cruise almost as good, but not quite. This may be why when two pilots standing on the ground see an airplane fly by they are compulsively driven to look- they can’t help it. It’s where they’re happiest. Why wouldn’t they stop to stare enviously?
This sort of process seems to occur in most pilots. There are a few that don’t seem to suffer from this problem quite so dramatically. I think that’s interesting- they’re often noted as our most level-headed and wise cohorts here on JetCareers. What sets them apart from the rest? Despite sometimes monumental accomplishments, they lack a clearly demonstrated sense of ego.
I’ve been reading a book recently about the ego and the problems that it brings. The ego is not the self- the self that is aware of your thoughts (and your ego) is you, the ego is outside of that. But the ego exists. It becomes the lens through which you see the world. If it begins to clutter your mind with thoughts to shield you from things you don’t like, it begins to cloud your vision. Eventually, it might get so bad that not only can you not see the world clearly, nobody can see you beyond your ego, either. At best, maybe, they’ll see an ugly distortion of themselves reflected back at them.
There’s another wise friend around who has a quote- “There are none so blind as those who will not see.” That’s an interesting concept to ponder. Why do we not see? Are we blinded by fear, by selfishness, greed, or pride? Are we allowing our ego to make us boastful? Are we being arrogant and rude?
Recent events in my life have required a very serious “come to Jesus” talk with myself. My homies here on JC have listened, and advised. I have listened, and I have pondered. In the end, I decided I’d fall back on the “What would Jesus do?” concept and take a few notes from the original JC and his homies.
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The ego is poison. It blurs and distorts our vision. We are blind, and cannot see. Of all the things born of the narcissistic, raving ego, what would oppose them? What path would we take to avoid becoming a ‘noisy gong or clanging cymbal’? What good is our knowledge to move mountains, or perhaps to soar above them, if we fail to find the crucial thing that makes it truly possible to silence our ego so we can focus to do these things properly, safely, and professionally?
One must eschew the ego and find the love within. Would life here on JetCareers and in the rest of the world not be easier if we were more patient and more kind? Would it not be better if we were not so envious or boastful, or irritable or resentful? What if we were to stop rejoicing at the wrongdoing of things but to seek the truth together? If we fail to quiet the internal ravings of our ego, both privately and collectively, we will all surely fail to find happiness in all we do in our lives and our careers.
Here on JetCareers, Doug and Kristie have endeavored to create a place where each of us can ‘pay it forward’. They understand what I’m trying to say here. That’s the whole point, really. If we let our collective ego stain that effort, we’re ruining something that is great and hurting ourselves in the process. When we hold on to past grievances and dwell on what “should be” in the future, we fail to recognize the here and now. That’s the only place we ever really live. Raving over the failings of our pasts or the perceived inadequacy of our individual futures is the domain of the ego. We must stop this- right here, and right now. Only in the here and now can we bring about the environment in which ‘paying it forward’ is actually possible.
So it would seem that changes must be made. In my own assessment of myself, I know this is a certainty. It has been said that “the leopard cannot change its spots,” but I disagree. This too, is a Biblical reference.
Some will say that ‘God is love’. I’m not certain exactly how I would define ‘God’, but in this context it applies. The only way to escape the ego is to surrender to God, and in God, surrender to love. When we let all things that are not love rule our thoughts and thereby our actions, we forget the love. We do this to ourselves, and we do it to others.
No job, no upgrade, no payraise, no type rating will ever allow you to escape this endless cycle of unhappiness.
I myself have been greatly guilty of this. My ego-driven narcissism has been the cause of my own suffering for years. The poison I have drowned in has begun overflowing- it stains those around me. Fortunately, there are those around me who have found the love to be patient (as love is) with me and to allow me to learn, even if sometimes it was greatly difficult. It has been a long, hard road, but I have finally seen the light. I haven’t been very kind (loving) to myself, either. I suppose that’s a big part of why it’s been so hard to be loving to everybody else in my world. I’m learning to cut myself a break, too. I may have been stuck in the cycle of an ego-driven narcissist, but hey- this is a website full of pilots. I’m in good company. (Ha, ha.)
So, yes. There are those here who have been patient with me, and I am grateful. Perhaps there are some who have been not so patient. I’m not always certain why that is. Perhaps because I have not been suitably patient with them? I’m going to have to take that one on the chin and just say, “My bad. This one’s on me. No worries.” They have helped me to learn to be patient. I find myself grateful to them as well. The beer’s on me, next time we cross paths.
I am not perfect, as there is no such thing. I am a work in progress, as are we all. If God is love and God is all that is righteous, then the path of love (rather than the ego) is one of love. I shall endeavor to keep to the straight and narrow. I see with new eyes, and I wobble uncertainly with new legs.
This will be my penance, my means of redemption. I do this out of love for myself, and out of love for those around me. I don’t always know where the path of the righteous man will take me, but I will strive to focus on the here and now so I am not blinded to the way. I don’t always know how to find the way, but it is said that the best way to learn something is to teach it. I will teach what little I know to those who are uncertain of how to proceed, and maybe in doing so learn how to do it myself. We are all the blind leading the blind and yet in that the only way any of us may ever see.
Recently, a very wise friend has helped me to understand my thoughts and to uncover my ego in my thinking. He’s been a great example of the concept of ‘Pay It Forward’, and I think he’s really helped me understand that. His general philosophy seems to be that “Love is all you need,” and I now I know he’s right.
That’s what ‘paying it forward’ means to me. Will I always succeed? Probably not. Only time will tell how straight and narrow my path truly is, and even then, I can only live in the here and now.
So that’s my peace on this. Sometimes we must start over to begin again. The cat is out of the bag, or maybe in our case the tiger is out of the bathroom. I think in my future I owe a lot of you a lot of beer. That’s a good start. Ben Franklin said that “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy,” so that works too. There’s love in beer. I can definitely spring for a few beers.
So here’s to “Paying It Forward,” and all those here that make it possible.
Cheers. :beer:
Or
“What Paying It Forward Means to Me”
I’ve been trying to speak a little less and listen a little more, lately, but this one’s got me pacing the floor of my layover hotel room like a tiger locked in the bathroom at Network JC, so I’m gonna let it out.
A very wise person once told me that pilots are “eternal malcontents.” They’re rarely happy, and when they are, it’s somewhat fleeting. Always chasing that next rating, upgrade, job, or pay raise. Always seeking to be the top of the pile. Always seeking to make sure everybody else knows it.
A longer conversation on the subject yielded the idea that while pilots never seem to be consistently content, it’s the pursuit of those rare moments of contentedness in between that keep them going. It drives a cycle. Happy for a short time, pilots will eventually begin to brood about how things aren’t quite as they should be and start looking for whatever they think they need to be happy again.
Pilots do have moments in their day to day when things are quiet in their mind. That’s why pilots love airplanes, it was determined. They’re the one thing that require our attention so focused on the ‘here and now’ that there’s no real time to think about the things that aren’t quite satisfying their ego. Takeoffs are good and landings are best, level cruise almost as good, but not quite. This may be why when two pilots standing on the ground see an airplane fly by they are compulsively driven to look- they can’t help it. It’s where they’re happiest. Why wouldn’t they stop to stare enviously?
This sort of process seems to occur in most pilots. There are a few that don’t seem to suffer from this problem quite so dramatically. I think that’s interesting- they’re often noted as our most level-headed and wise cohorts here on JetCareers. What sets them apart from the rest? Despite sometimes monumental accomplishments, they lack a clearly demonstrated sense of ego.
I’ve been reading a book recently about the ego and the problems that it brings. The ego is not the self- the self that is aware of your thoughts (and your ego) is you, the ego is outside of that. But the ego exists. It becomes the lens through which you see the world. If it begins to clutter your mind with thoughts to shield you from things you don’t like, it begins to cloud your vision. Eventually, it might get so bad that not only can you not see the world clearly, nobody can see you beyond your ego, either. At best, maybe, they’ll see an ugly distortion of themselves reflected back at them.
There’s another wise friend around who has a quote- “There are none so blind as those who will not see.” That’s an interesting concept to ponder. Why do we not see? Are we blinded by fear, by selfishness, greed, or pride? Are we allowing our ego to make us boastful? Are we being arrogant and rude?
Recent events in my life have required a very serious “come to Jesus” talk with myself. My homies here on JC have listened, and advised. I have listened, and I have pondered. In the end, I decided I’d fall back on the “What would Jesus do?” concept and take a few notes from the original JC and his homies.
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[/FONT]
The ego is poison. It blurs and distorts our vision. We are blind, and cannot see. Of all the things born of the narcissistic, raving ego, what would oppose them? What path would we take to avoid becoming a ‘noisy gong or clanging cymbal’? What good is our knowledge to move mountains, or perhaps to soar above them, if we fail to find the crucial thing that makes it truly possible to silence our ego so we can focus to do these things properly, safely, and professionally?
One must eschew the ego and find the love within. Would life here on JetCareers and in the rest of the world not be easier if we were more patient and more kind? Would it not be better if we were not so envious or boastful, or irritable or resentful? What if we were to stop rejoicing at the wrongdoing of things but to seek the truth together? If we fail to quiet the internal ravings of our ego, both privately and collectively, we will all surely fail to find happiness in all we do in our lives and our careers.
Here on JetCareers, Doug and Kristie have endeavored to create a place where each of us can ‘pay it forward’. They understand what I’m trying to say here. That’s the whole point, really. If we let our collective ego stain that effort, we’re ruining something that is great and hurting ourselves in the process. When we hold on to past grievances and dwell on what “should be” in the future, we fail to recognize the here and now. That’s the only place we ever really live. Raving over the failings of our pasts or the perceived inadequacy of our individual futures is the domain of the ego. We must stop this- right here, and right now. Only in the here and now can we bring about the environment in which ‘paying it forward’ is actually possible.
So it would seem that changes must be made. In my own assessment of myself, I know this is a certainty. It has been said that “the leopard cannot change its spots,” but I disagree. This too, is a Biblical reference.
Taken out of context, it would seem that change is impossible. If the leopard cannot change his spots, and in that we infer that man cannot change his nature, what hope have we? Fortunately, this is not the whole meaning of the passage. The message is that man cannot change his nature by the ways of man. Only in repentance and surrender of the ways of the selfish world of men- the EGO- can anyone ever truly find an end to their suffering.
Some will say that ‘God is love’. I’m not certain exactly how I would define ‘God’, but in this context it applies. The only way to escape the ego is to surrender to God, and in God, surrender to love. When we let all things that are not love rule our thoughts and thereby our actions, we forget the love. We do this to ourselves, and we do it to others.
No job, no upgrade, no payraise, no type rating will ever allow you to escape this endless cycle of unhappiness.
I myself have been greatly guilty of this. My ego-driven narcissism has been the cause of my own suffering for years. The poison I have drowned in has begun overflowing- it stains those around me. Fortunately, there are those around me who have found the love to be patient (as love is) with me and to allow me to learn, even if sometimes it was greatly difficult. It has been a long, hard road, but I have finally seen the light. I haven’t been very kind (loving) to myself, either. I suppose that’s a big part of why it’s been so hard to be loving to everybody else in my world. I’m learning to cut myself a break, too. I may have been stuck in the cycle of an ego-driven narcissist, but hey- this is a website full of pilots. I’m in good company. (Ha, ha.)
So, yes. There are those here who have been patient with me, and I am grateful. Perhaps there are some who have been not so patient. I’m not always certain why that is. Perhaps because I have not been suitably patient with them? I’m going to have to take that one on the chin and just say, “My bad. This one’s on me. No worries.” They have helped me to learn to be patient. I find myself grateful to them as well. The beer’s on me, next time we cross paths.
I am not perfect, as there is no such thing. I am a work in progress, as are we all. If God is love and God is all that is righteous, then the path of love (rather than the ego) is one of love. I shall endeavor to keep to the straight and narrow. I see with new eyes, and I wobble uncertainly with new legs.
This will be my penance, my means of redemption. I do this out of love for myself, and out of love for those around me. I don’t always know where the path of the righteous man will take me, but I will strive to focus on the here and now so I am not blinded to the way. I don’t always know how to find the way, but it is said that the best way to learn something is to teach it. I will teach what little I know to those who are uncertain of how to proceed, and maybe in doing so learn how to do it myself. We are all the blind leading the blind and yet in that the only way any of us may ever see.
Recently, a very wise friend has helped me to understand my thoughts and to uncover my ego in my thinking. He’s been a great example of the concept of ‘Pay It Forward’, and I think he’s really helped me understand that. His general philosophy seems to be that “Love is all you need,” and I now I know he’s right.
That’s what ‘paying it forward’ means to me. Will I always succeed? Probably not. Only time will tell how straight and narrow my path truly is, and even then, I can only live in the here and now.
So that’s my peace on this. Sometimes we must start over to begin again. The cat is out of the bag, or maybe in our case the tiger is out of the bathroom. I think in my future I owe a lot of you a lot of beer. That’s a good start. Ben Franklin said that “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy,” so that works too. There’s love in beer. I can definitely spring for a few beers.
So here’s to “Paying It Forward,” and all those here that make it possible.
Cheers. :beer:
