Richman
JC’s Resident Curmudgeon
Yup. Worth maybe a light chuckle 25 years ago when I first saw it, and I'm pretty sure it was ancient then.
Richman
Is this a realistic scenario? ;-)
- Thread starter ozone
- Start date
Yup. Worth maybe a light chuckle 25 years ago when I first saw it, and I'm pretty sure it was ancient then.
Richman
tbstanto
Well-Known Member
What are the upgrade times on the DC-3? Street Captains?
ComplexHiAv8r
Well-Known Member
smack300
Well-Known Member
I found it on geocities.
tbstanto
Well-Known Member
Ok, here is a shot at an updated version. How does this look?
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18 years old. Take out $50,000 worth of loans to go to college.
22 years old. Graduated from college. Go to fancy zero to hero flight school and take out another $50,000 in debt. Get married.
25 years old. Holding CFI/II/MEI and finally accumulated 1500 hours of time to be eligible for an ATP. Have 1st kid.
26 years old. Get job at the Regional Airline "Flavor of the month", promising 2 year upgrade and 6 year flow to a major. Start paying off loans.
29 years old. Industry slowed down, and 50 seat regional jets get parked, upgrade slows. Looking at a 6 year upgrade. Living in a crash pad while paying $1,500 a month in student loans.
30 years old. Regional goes bankrupt, get furloughed, and end up at the next "Flavor of the month" regional. Still paying loans. Taking bus to the airport.
31 years old. Get the fast upgrade, now logging PIC. Almost paid off student loans, but able to buy a car that is less than 10 years old for the first time!
32 years old. Divorce boring 1st wife. Pay child support and maintenance, and continuing to pay student loans. Drink lots of booze and screw around while looking for 2nd wife.
33 years old. Furloughed. Looking for 3rd regional airline. Check internet message boards to find the newest "flavor of the month". Still paying student loans.
35 years old. More screwing around but looking forward to a good marriage and settling down.
36 years old. Marry young spunky 25 year old flight attendant.
37 years old. Buy first house. But you don't get to live in it, it is for your ex wife. Finish paying off student loans!
38 years old. Give in to second wife to have more kids. Father again.
39 years old. Get hired at Mainline! Hooray! Back on reserve for 6 years, but buy house, boat, small single engine airplane and your first new car.
42 years old. 2nd wife runs off with wealthy investment banker but still wants to share house (100%).
43 years old. Settle with wife # 2 and resolve to stay away from women forever.
Move into 1 bedroom apartment with window air conditioners.
44 years old. Finally off of reserve and in the base of your choice.
49 years old. Upgrade! Captain again. Move into 2-bedroom luxury apartment with central air conditioning.
50 years old. Meet sexy Danish model on International trip. She loves You and says you are very "beeeeg!"
51 years old. Marry sexy Danish model for wife #3. Buy big house, boat, twin engine airplane and upgrade cars.
52 years old. Sexy model wants kids (not again). Resolve to get vasectomy.
54 years old. Try to talk wife out of kids, but presto, she's pregnant. She says she got sick after taking the pill. Accident, sorry, won't happen again.
55 years old. Father of twins.
56 years old. Wife #3 wants very big house, bigger boat and very flashy cars, "worried" about your private flying and wants you to sell twin engine airplane. You give in. You buy a motorcycle and join motorcycle club.
57 years old. Make rash investments to try and have enough money for retirement.
59 years old. Lose money on rash investment and get audited by the IRS. You have to fly 100% International night trips just to keep up with child support and alimony to wife #1 and #2.
60 years old. Wife #3 (sexy model) says you're too damned old and no fun. She leaves. She takes most of your assets.
65 years old. Forced to retire.
No money left.
65 years old. Now Captain on a non-schedule South American 727 freight outfit and living in a non-air conditioned studio apartment directly underneath the final approach to runway 9 at Miami Int'l. You have "interesting" Hispanic neighbors who ask you if you've ever flown DC-3's.
68 years old. Lose FAA medical and get job as simulator instructor at the regional airline that you left 35 years ago. Don't look forward to years of getting up at 2 AM for 3 AM sim where you teach energetic and excited 20 year old kids how to fly the newest "shiny" jet and talk about how great their lives are going to be.
70 years old. Hotel alarm clock set by previous FedEx crewmember goes off at 1:00 AM. Have heart attack and die with smile on face. Happy at last!
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18 years old. Take out $50,000 worth of loans to go to college.
22 years old. Graduated from college. Go to fancy zero to hero flight school and take out another $50,000 in debt. Get married.
25 years old. Holding CFI/II/MEI and finally accumulated 1500 hours of time to be eligible for an ATP. Have 1st kid.
26 years old. Get job at the Regional Airline "Flavor of the month", promising 2 year upgrade and 6 year flow to a major. Start paying off loans.
29 years old. Industry slowed down, and 50 seat regional jets get parked, upgrade slows. Looking at a 6 year upgrade. Living in a crash pad while paying $1,500 a month in student loans.
30 years old. Regional goes bankrupt, get furloughed, and end up at the next "Flavor of the month" regional. Still paying loans. Taking bus to the airport.
31 years old. Get the fast upgrade, now logging PIC. Almost paid off student loans, but able to buy a car that is less than 10 years old for the first time!
32 years old. Divorce boring 1st wife. Pay child support and maintenance, and continuing to pay student loans. Drink lots of booze and screw around while looking for 2nd wife.
33 years old. Furloughed. Looking for 3rd regional airline. Check internet message boards to find the newest "flavor of the month". Still paying student loans.
35 years old. More screwing around but looking forward to a good marriage and settling down.
36 years old. Marry young spunky 25 year old flight attendant.
37 years old. Buy first house. But you don't get to live in it, it is for your ex wife. Finish paying off student loans!
38 years old. Give in to second wife to have more kids. Father again.
39 years old. Get hired at Mainline! Hooray! Back on reserve for 6 years, but buy house, boat, small single engine airplane and your first new car.
42 years old. 2nd wife runs off with wealthy investment banker but still wants to share house (100%).
43 years old. Settle with wife # 2 and resolve to stay away from women forever.
Move into 1 bedroom apartment with window air conditioners.
44 years old. Finally off of reserve and in the base of your choice.
49 years old. Upgrade! Captain again. Move into 2-bedroom luxury apartment with central air conditioning.
50 years old. Meet sexy Danish model on International trip. She loves You and says you are very "beeeeg!"
51 years old. Marry sexy Danish model for wife #3. Buy big house, boat, twin engine airplane and upgrade cars.
52 years old. Sexy model wants kids (not again). Resolve to get vasectomy.
54 years old. Try to talk wife out of kids, but presto, she's pregnant. She says she got sick after taking the pill. Accident, sorry, won't happen again.
55 years old. Father of twins.
56 years old. Wife #3 wants very big house, bigger boat and very flashy cars, "worried" about your private flying and wants you to sell twin engine airplane. You give in. You buy a motorcycle and join motorcycle club.
57 years old. Make rash investments to try and have enough money for retirement.
59 years old. Lose money on rash investment and get audited by the IRS. You have to fly 100% International night trips just to keep up with child support and alimony to wife #1 and #2.
60 years old. Wife #3 (sexy model) says you're too damned old and no fun. She leaves. She takes most of your assets.
65 years old. Forced to retire.
No money left.
65 years old. Now Captain on a non-schedule South American 727 freight outfit and living in a non-air conditioned studio apartment directly underneath the final approach to runway 9 at Miami Int'l. You have "interesting" Hispanic neighbors who ask you if you've ever flown DC-3's.
68 years old. Lose FAA medical and get job as simulator instructor at the regional airline that you left 35 years ago. Don't look forward to years of getting up at 2 AM for 3 AM sim where you teach energetic and excited 20 year old kids how to fly the newest "shiny" jet and talk about how great their lives are going to be.
70 years old. Hotel alarm clock set by previous FedEx crewmember goes off at 1:00 AM. Have heart attack and die with smile on face. Happy at last!
Cptnchia
Dissatisfied Customer
Simple solution. If the first one leaves, don't replace her. Go the ATN route, and rent. It'll be cheaper in the end.
And pay CASH for the wood chipper!
milleR
Well-Known Member
Amen brother. And if you've simply got to go down that road again, for the love of all things holy, get a flipping prenup! Because, if you haven't learned that the goddess you married isn't the *ahem* female you're divorcing the first time around, then you deserve to get raped.Simple solution. If the first one leaves, don't replace her. Go the ATN route, and rent. It'll be cheaper in the end.
And pay CASH for the wood chipper!
Austin_Marshall
New Member
Sounds realistic!!! I have heard it from One of my friends who is working at Las Vegas airlines. I think he has faced some of the initial stages from this list.
JordanD
Chinese Food Enthusiast
Is the first wife single too?
