The Pleasure of Their Company (long)

Fearless

Dash Dominatrix
The marshaller is ready. I ease forward, trying to stop and set the parking brake smoothly, so gently that the passengers never feel it. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see one of our chief pilots standing behind the ground power unit and snapping pictures. It is my last flight as a Part 121 airline pilot.

You'll never forget the first time... or the last time. My last time was January 1, 2023, the first day of the New Year.

My career in aviation was just about as far from a "sure thing" as you can get. I've always been interested in flying. I was "that kid" who spent her time making and flying model airplanes. But our family never seemed to have enough money, and my parents strongly discouraged any interest in flying. This was, after all, the South in the '70's. Acceptable professions for women included stay-at-home mom, nurse, or teacher.

After working my way through college I got a job at an engineering lab. One of my friends at the lab had just gotten her Private license, and invited me to go with her as a passenger. This was one of several things that motivated me to start flying lessons. I was pretty sure that I didn't want my mom hearing about this, so I kept my flight training very quiet. I managed to get all the way through my commercial ASEL before someone ratted me out.

I later completed my CFI, CFII, multi commercial, MEI, single engine ATP, and multiengine ATP (in that order). It was a good time. The engineering job paid the bills, and I was instructing just about as much as I could stand. It was a fine thing to work in the lab all day, then spend the evenings and weekends teaching students. It was very rewarding to start a new student and work with him (or her) all the way through Private and instrument training.

I secretly wanted to fly full-time, but the mid-90's were a terrible time for flying jobs. Some flight schools would not hire instructors with less than 3000 hours. Part 135? Pilots were lining up to fly worn-out airplanes doing life-threatening jobs that paid next to nothing. Part 121? Not a chance. Although Comair would hire you as a FO ($14000/year) if you went to their academy and then paid $12500 for your initial Part 121 training.

My career plans suddenly got a little less fictional a year later, when the engineering lab offered buyouts in an attempt to downsize. This was a very hard decision. Should I give up my good job with good benefits for a crappy job with NO benefits? In the end, I visualized myself at age 86, perhaps sitting around a nursing home. Would I regret not going for my dream job? Would I grieve for the path not taken?

It was probably just about the worst time in recent history to become a pilot, so naturally I decided to go for it.

For a long time my decision to become a full-time pilot seemed like a terrible idea. I worked MANY, MANY 14-hour days instructing and (in a good week) made $250. Later I got a Part 135 freight job. Some of my runs paid only $150 per week, so I ended up living in my van for a while. It would have been a lot more fun if I wasn't trying to sleep in the daytime, in Florida, in scorching heat.

The freight job was a great experience. As in "the best job that you never want to do again".

We all enjoy the high points in our careers, but it's often the lowest points in our lives that provide direction and insight into our choices. My own personal nadir was at 2 a.m., on one terrible night in Jacksonville. I was huddled in the back of a greasy Beech Baron, trying to get an hour of sleep before my courier showed up. It was cold, I'd been drinking bad coffee and living on leftover Pollo Tropical, and earlier in the day I'd had to pee into a coffee cup on my 2.5-hour flight to Atlanta. I was thinking that I was almost 40 years old. What kind of life was this? Who did this when they were 40? I should have been working a real job and making real money.

For a moment I felt just the tiniest twinge of self-pity, but suddenly this was replaced by a blaze of self-confidence. I realized that I was doing exactly what I needed to do, that I was stronger than any obstacle in my path. I had hit rock bottom, but it had no power over me. I knew at that moment that I was never going to give up on my flying career.

After sending out what seemed like 300 resumes and cover letters, I finally landed a job with Horizon Air out of Portland. I was originally reluctant to apply there. The starting pay was $18000 a year (toward the low end for regionals at that time) and the upgrade time (in 2000) was about six years. But I liked the company. It just seemed like a good operation - nice people and a spotless maintenance hanger. I was also intrigued by the idea of living on the West Coast. I took the job and was assigned the Q400 (Dash 8-400). This was a brand-new airplane and I had been in training for nearly three weeks before the company took delivery of the first one, N400QX.

I finished FO training in early 2001. It was fun flying the line, but also an incredibly stressful year. Our union was negotiating its first contract, and there was unsettling talk about an impending strike. I wasn't sure how I could manage being unemployed with $150 in my bank account. Fortunately, the Comair strike in the summer of 2001 motivated our union and our company to cut a deal, and we signed our first contract on September 6.

Then... 09/11/2001.

If I recall correctly, this was a Tuesday. I had been out flying until about midnight on Monday, so I slept through the terrorist attacks and the collapse of the twin towers. No one knew what was going on for a while. Accident or attack? Commercial aircraft were ordered to land at the nearest suitable airport. My sim partner and his captain ended up in Butte, Montana for four days. I had a two-day trip on Wednesday that was cancelled, but later flew several legs on Friday, mostly to help out stranded crews and passengers. The flight attendants were terrified and many of them wouldn't fly. I understood.

My FO classmates and I were getting pretty restless in 2008. We were all next up on the upgrade list. The recession in 2008-2011 hit hard. We went from being "close to upgrade" to hanging off the bottom of the seniority list again. It was a long eleven and a half years as a first officer. Despite the lack of "career progression", I really enjoyed it. I flew with some really amazing captains and hiked, skied, and biked on my days off.

After eleven and a half years in the right seat, I finally got an upgrade class. Being a brand-new captain was kind of intimidating. The good news is that you never have to solve any problem entirely by yourself: Resources include your crew, ATC, Dispatch, Maintenance, and many others. The tough part of the job is always the "grey areas", times when you have to make good choices while dealing with conflicting or incomplete information. Your decisions don't have to be perfect, but they must be safe.

The advice I give to new captains is (1) work to be competent at your job, (2) take care of your crew, and (3) don't be an •.

I've been extremely impressed with most of the first officers I've worked with. Our training department is excellent, and most of our new pilots do a great job right out of IOE. The most impressive thing? Many of the younger FO's I work with have really excellent communication and interpersonal skills. I'm thrilled (and maybe a little envious) of the pilots who are starting their careers now. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self "Yes, you can do this, just go for it".

I never made it to the majors, never got a chance to fly the "big iron". But I've gotten to fly an amazing (and frequently frustrating) airplane and work with some pretty impressive people. I've cherished even the smallest moments, such as watching a sunset over the Cascades or marveling at static electricity crawling up the windshield. I've trained dozens of pilots, delivered medical supplies and cancelled checks and paper clips, and safely transported tens of thousands of airline passengers. It's been quite the journey. It's sad to walk away from a career that I really love, but I feel that the future is in good hands.

Best wishes to you all on your own aviation journeys.

Fearless!
 
Great perspective of your flying career. It seems that you made the right choice in going for it. Happy retirement and thank you for this.
 
What outstanding timing for this post. And thank you for writing it.
 
I used to fly on QX a lot with commercial deadheads. I hear stories about the Q400 but of all my flights I only remember one mechanical cause the FA phone wasn't working. MX showed up soon with a new one and off we went. Maybe I was lucky. I made Gold 75K for several years and just lost my status this January 1st. I do have 1.5 million miles to spend on AS, though. Need to get cracking with that. For me, the weird thing about retirement is I came to miss the airline flying. Most walk away and could care less. Maybe that will wear off in time but still think retiring early was a good move.
 
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