So I'm gonna be 42 at the end of the month. I am not telling you that you cannot do this - you absolutely can, and guys considerably older than both of us have done so.
I would encourage you to take the two decades you've got of adult life experience and weigh the decision accordingly. As a disclaimer - I have not yet decided what I want to do with aviation, and I've just recently broken 250 hours of total time in my logbook. It's often a question of resources more than anything else, and it sounds like you're a bit thin on them right now.
Financial aid is out there, and there's even a stronger case for it than there was 7 years ago because it's a lot cheaper to buy the money than it used to be. However, it's going to be tough to get one of these loans without demonstrating a capacity for paying it back. You're conservatively looking at about $45-50K to get to some flavor of Commercial license - could be done for a little less, could be done for a lot more - a lot depends on you, where you are, and what opportunities there are.
But debt can be a dreamkiller. And you're already taking a double-hit on living on your 401k - because you're losing that retirement money and taking the 10% penalty hit on it plus the taxes. From where I stand, that's a form of bleeding and you need to stop that with a job - any job - before you pursue something as expensive as flying. End of lecture on that.
Given your situation - I would suggest you FIRST see if you can hold at least a 3rd class medical - which should be relatively easy. If you can, then look at something like a mom and pop flying school or a local flying club and earn your Private Certificate. Get a sense of being in the air and decide if it's something you REALLY want to do. If it is, then move forward. If not, then you have had a great experience and now have a unique hobby that will show you things the ground-borne will never really appreciate.
Good luck. This website is a terrific resource itself. Ask questions in good faith.