I'll try to make this succinct:
I'm not moving on to a legacy. Whether it's because I'm trans, I don't have a degree, they don't like my face, idk, but nobody's calling, and I'm 44.
I absolutely love the flying part of this job. I love taking care of my passengers, my crews, and the art and artistry of flying a transport category jet well. Being captain is wonderful, and the airplane I fly is, in my biased opinion, one of the best in the industry. My FOs and FAs often tell me that they love flying with me, and seem happy to see me on their schedules, and I love the crews I fly with.
But I'm tired. Bone tired. Chronically fatigued. My quality of life is nonexistent, and I have no control over my schedule. Senior captains at my airline with almost 30 years are saying same thing. We have no ability to modify our schedules—what we're awarded is what we fly unless we call out sick, which the company is extremely aggressive about. (We get 6 days per year before we start getting the side-eye. That's one 4-day and two locals.)
In my case, I'm at the bottom of the list for the entirety of the foreseeable future, so I'm getting AM short call reserve (2hr) at 3am, 18-19 days per month.
I get called every single reserve day, usually right at 3am for a 5am show. My circadian rhythm is permanently nocturnal—I don't go to sleep until 6am on my days off, which often leads to having less than an hour of poor-quality off-cycle sleep before my alarm goes off.
Tomorrow I have a 5am report time to work an 11 hour, 4-leg day—which will probably be 12-13+ hours, with delays factored in, followed by min rest (9.5 hours) and a 0355 show (base time) the next day.
It's literally shortening my lifespan and wrecking my life. There is no end in sight.
For the first time in more than ten years of flying professionally, I'm making enough to make ends meet. But only just barely. I'm touching about $200k of income, but that's really close to what I made in my first full year working in tech as a 19-year-old, when you adjust it for inflation. (For reference, tech jobs that I'm qualified for are around $210-$280k at the moment, which has also basically just scaled with inflation.)
It's still not enough to afford a house anywhere safe for me and my mates.
If I sound somewhat desperate, it's because I am. Something's got to give—I'm being run to death, and I don't know what to do.
All I've ever wanted to do was fly, and I still do, but I'm considering hanging up my wings.
I could use some advice.
(That said, I'm looking for advice, not 'tough love,' 'GeT A DeGReE' or any of that. I'm currently taking one class per term on the side in pursuit of knowledge, and I barely have enough time to do the minimum.)