Dirty Pants

wainscottbl

Well-Known Member
If this is too far fetched and silly forgive me. Something that happened at McDonalds made me think of this.

So on a New York to Madrid flight, you get a call from the back that a passenger, an old man who may have dementia, has apparently had an accident on himself and come out of the bathroom in just his boxers, carrying his pants. He explained he had an accident on himself and is now sitting in his seat in his boxers. You are not too far from the Azores and could land there. Apparently his clothes were checked and no one has offered to give him a pair of pants. Offer him a pair of your own or divert.

Now the real situation that made me think of this? I was at McDonalds watching Netflix. I was interrupted by some overfriendly panhandler who I honestly told I had no money. Because I am so nice, too nice to just put the headphone back on, we were talking. Then this old man comes out of the bathroom, in his boxers, carrying his pants and says, "That was the worst accident I've had in a long time!" and just walks out the door. He seemed a bit senile so it is understandable why he would do that, but it was funny. We did not laugh at him right then, but afterwords the beggar and I had a good laugh.

Again, sorry if this is silly. I think it is possible that this could happen. I never thought what I saw at McDonalds would happen, never even thought of it, and it did. Lucky it was late and so no customers except me and the beggar.
 
I'd offer him my pants... Cannot wait to get a change to sit on the fur in boxers with a perfect excuse.
In the cockpit i would be exposed/embarrassed in front of one more human. The elder passenger would be exposed to everyone on board.
 
It has happened before. Have the FAs give him a blanket to wrap around himself and press on. Have medical assistance meet the flight at destination to help the pax if they do indeed have dementia.

End of line.
 
Alight, I was just curious. Actually I was thinking a pair of pants out of your own bag, not the ones you had one, though that would show extra charity. I guess it's not such a big deal as long as the guy is not being Herbert the Pervert. "You wouldn't by any chance wanna go back to the bathroom and help me put my pants on would you? There's ice cream."
 
A problem of this level wouldn't even make it to the flight deck other than *maybe* to notify the downrange station to have somebody meet this guy. The FAs are trained to handle stuff like this.

True story though... About 2 weeks after I upgraded on the CRJ I was flying a 700 from Charlotte to Allentown. We were parked at a gate with no jetway and they had already loaded the bags in the back cargo hold, which meant that the front of the plane was pitched up about as high as it goes on the ground. Those stairs can be pretty steep in general, but when the plane sits like that they get VERY steep.

Anyhow, they preboarded this older lady who managed to trip on the first step, slip, and fall (about 6 inches). She was ok, but it literally (yes, literally, not figuratively) scared the crap out of her. She had another pair of pants in her bag but she didn't want to go back in the terminal and have people see her after what had happened. At that time we still had to lavs on the 700 so we let her change in the forward lav and then declared it hazmat and put it out of service. Apparently she also kind of soiled the seat she was sitting on on the way up to ABE so we had to declare that seat hazmat (and the one next to it as well) once we got there and had to deny boarding to two passengers on a full flight back down to CLT.

Related note, out here we carry an extra seat cushion onboard so if a seat bottom gets soiled the FAs can swap it out where ever we are and then swap the used one for a new spare with cabin service once we get back to a hub. This happens pretty often.
 
It's not silly and it happens.

Basically, wrap him in a blanket like a sarong and motor on.

Call for a wheel chair, break out the UPK and put the soiled facilities in the logbook.

Easy peasy.

I've got a fairly recent story that I'll share over a beer about a topic somewhat related.
 
I was jumpseating home awhile back when the inbound plane had something similar happen. MX had to remove all the padding from a row of seats and leave the metal skeleton behind, as the cushions couldn't get clean enough at the outstation. About an hour into the flight, the FAs reported an ominous odor starting to leak out from the seatback IFE -- apparently the cushions didn't catch all of the "expulsion" and as the screens warmed up, so too did the remnants of what was left behind.
 
How about when the guy you are flying with has to take a crap really badly, and there is no lav? Only a trashbag and an ice chest.
Happened to me not once, but twice. Never looked at that ice chest the same way.

You and I were apparently the ones who picked proper pre-flight food. It didn't matter that the normal outflow valve was in the tail - that smell always went forward.
 
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