Question for the board

madit

Well-Known Member
Greetings, I'm a long time lurker and now a first time poster! My question actually is about fear of flying. My wife and I are going on vacation in a couple of weeks and she is really scared of flying. She just gets really uncomfortable and nervous on planes and as I student pilot, I really don’t know what to say to her. Anyone ever deal with this situation and have any suggestions?

Thanks for any advice!
 

tonyw

Well-Known Member
You can tell her all the stats about how flying is safer than driving, and you can bore her to tears with the physics (or as they say on the sim boards, the fisics) of how an airplane flies and why it won't just fall out of the sky if something happens, but she probably already knows all this.

Her fear is irrational. So the only way to conquer it is to get her up there and let her slowly realize, hey, this isn't so bad!

You could also do the thing they did in Say Anything.
 

TheWife

New Member
Um, that would be me. I do not like to fly. I do not like to not be in control. I do not like to have other people drive me. I'm weird like that. I guess the only thing that really helps me, is thinking that I am not going to be a sissy pants and just never get on a plane so I just have to deal with it. And I just feel like if it's my time to go, I'm gonna go, whether it's on a plane or in a car or at my own house. I can't stop death so I guess I am not going to live in a plastic bubble trying to prevent it. But if you don't go for that whole "it's your time to go" thing, then you might not get much help from thinking about that. My only advice for you would be to try to keep her mind off of it while IN the plane, by talking, or watching a movie with her, etc. and DO NOT make fun of her. And be happy to lend her your arm when she needs to dig her nails in to it.
Hope it all works out for you.
 

Buzo

Well-Known Member
Tell her to visit www.fearofflying.com it is a site I came across accidently that is full of wonderful people. Everyone goes there with almost the same story and the suport the group offers is great. Take a look at the message board. There are a number of pilots that post on the board to answer questions.
 

shooter13

New Member
Drug her to sleep or hit her over the head, load her on the plane and don't worry about it. It worked all the time on the "A-Team"...
 

ready2fly

Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
My wife and I are going on vacation in a couple of weeks and she is really scared of flying. She just gets really uncomfortable and nervous on planes

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
Um, that would be me. I do not like to fly. I do not like to not be in control. I do not like to have other people drive me. I'm weird like that.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think I'm married to you... and his wife.


My wifed LOVED flying with me...... at first. But, then came the day when we hit "turbulence" = thermals indiginous to Florida.... and that was the end of that.

She will not go back up with me.. no way... no how.

I've tried TonyW's logic..... didn't work. I tried the "it's like waves on the water in a boat..." .... nothing. It's just not going to happen.

I even bought her her own headsets last year for Christmas and they've never been worn... by her.

The key is - do NOT pressure her. Whatever you do. Leave it up to her. If she never flies with you or even on a commercial liner, that should be her choice. Some folks just don't like it.

I still ask my wife if she wants to go up and I hope that one day, she'll say "yes", but as of right now, the answer has been "no" and I just say "okay" and leave it at that.

Best of luck.

R2F
 

Kristie

Mama Bear....
Staff member
[ QUOTE ]
I think I'm married to you... and his wife.

My wifed LOVED flying with me...... at first. But, then came the day when we hit "turbulence" = thermals indiginous to Florida.... and that was the end of that.

She will not go back up with me.. no way... no how.

[/ QUOTE ] yup... I had that too only with wake turbulence during takeoff (not enuff spacing between planes?)
- doug was actually flying the plane (MD 88) and he remembers it too. That was well over 9 months ago...

It's taken quite a bit of effort for me to get back on each plane (no matter the size)...but my theory is that " if I don't get back on, I can't go travel like I want to travel" and I personally hate the words "can't", "quit", "won't" (they don't get you anywhere)... so that always gets me back on the boat... I'm just now getting comfortable with turns after takeoff and takeoff/landing again...at one point, i had a valium in my pocket just in case (never did use it though)...

Don't get me wrong - I still LOVE to fly and I'm always excited when I'm waiting to board the plane and when turning onto the runway, taking photos during flight etc - none of that ever changed...

one thing I do to get me used to takeoff's & flying again - is sometimes I sit in an aisle seat... or sit in the window seat and put the window shade down... and there are a lot of times that i just close my eyes and listen to my breathing until i feel comfortable to open them again... when doug's there - i just stare at the aisle floor or at him, he holds my hand and tells me "when i start getting worried, THEN you can start worrying"

but if you don't just jump in and go for it - you'll never know or have an opportunity to get used to it...and you'll never be able to travel the way you want to...
I would have never made it to Alaska or Paris if I hadn't bit my tongue and did what I had to do...Life's chock full of challenges and i'm pretty pleased that i'm finally getting thru this hoop, even if it has taken me this long...
 

TheWife

New Member
[ QUOTE ]
think I'm married to you... and his wife

[/ QUOTE ] Well now. That could be interesting.
 

mtsu_av8er

Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
think I'm married to you... and his wife

[/ QUOTE ] Well now. That could be interesting.


[/ QUOTE ]

You go, RTF!!!
 

CaptainMatt

Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
think I'm married to you... and his wife

[/ QUOTE ] Well now. That could be interesting.


[/ QUOTE ]

You go, RTF!!!


[/ QUOTE ]

How did fear of flying turn into this...LOL
 

SteveC

Really?
Staff member
[ QUOTE ]
How did fear of flying turn into this...LOL


[/ QUOTE ]
Ever read the book "Fear of Flying"? Erica Jong author.
Pretty "racy" for its day.
 

ready2fly

Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
You go, RTF!!!



[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, I know.... I'm da King.








Now would SOMEBODY please ask the Queen if she'll go flying with me??
 

MQAAord

Scheherazade
Staff member
I think the trick to dealing with fear is to approach it slowly, in small bites. For instance, can you take your wife to the airport one day, and just sit in a plane? Maybe start it up and taxi around, but let her know that you are not actually going to fly that day. Slowly build up a tolerance to planes, and then when she's up to it go do one turn in the pattern, then a little more, and a little more until the fear is a little more managable.
 

mastermags

Well-Known Member *giggity*
[ QUOTE ]
I think the trick to dealing with fear is to approach it slowly, in small bites. For instance, can you take your wife to the airport one day, and just sit in a plane? Maybe start it up and taxi around, but let her know that you are not actually going to fly that day. Slowly build up a tolerance to planes, and then when she's up to it go do one turn in the pattern, then a little more, and a little more until the fear is a little more managable.

[/ QUOTE ]


And you could log it as an hour of taxi time.
 

Maximilian_Jenius

Super User
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I think I'm married to you... and his wife.

My wifed LOVED flying with me...... at first. But, then came the day when we hit "turbulence" = thermals indiginous to Florida.... and that was the end of that.

She will not go back up with me.. no way... no how.

[/ QUOTE ] yup... I had that too only with wake turbulence during takeoff (not enuff spacing between planes?)
- doug was actually flying the plane (MD 88) and he remembers it too. That was well over 9 months ago...

It's taken quite a bit of effort for me to get back on each plane (no matter the size)...but my theory is that " if I don't get back on, I can't go travel like I want to travel" and I personally hate the words "can't", "quit", "won't" (they don't get you anywhere)... so that always gets me back on the boat... I'm just now getting comfortable with turns after takeoff and takeoff/landing again...at one point, i had a valium in my pocket just in case (never did use it though)...

Don't get me wrong - I still LOVE to fly and I'm always excited when I'm waiting to board the plane and when turning onto the runway, taking photos during flight etc - none of that ever changed...

one thing I do to get me used to takeoff's & flying again - is sometimes I sit in an aisle seat... or sit in the window seat and put the window shade down... and there are a lot of times that i just close my eyes and listen to my breathing until i feel comfortable to open them again... when doug's there - i just stare at the aisle floor or at him, he holds my hand and tells me "when i start getting worried, THEN you can start worrying"

but if you don't just jump in and go for it - you'll never know or have an opportunity to get used to it...and you'll never be able to travel the way you want to...
I would have never made it to Alaska or Paris if I hadn't bit my tongue and did what I had to do...Life's chock full of challenges and i'm pretty pleased that i'm finally getting thru this hoop, even if it has taken me this long...


[/ QUOTE ]



Wow Kristie what exactly happened? What airport did this occur at and what kinda plane caused the wake turbulence?


Matthew

formerly Zen~Aku
 

Maximilian_Jenius

Super User
[ QUOTE ]
Drug her to sleep or hit her over the head, load her on the plane and don't worry about it. It worked all the time on the "A-Team"...

[/ QUOTE ]


lol that stuff was so funny.... and it always seemed to work.



Matthew

formerly Zen~Aku
 

Kristie

Mama Bear....
Staff member
[ QUOTE ]
Wow Kristie what exactly happened? What airport did this occur at and what kinda plane caused the wake turbulence?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not really sure, but i think ATC gave the "go ahead" way too early and we got smacked around pretty good...

doug knows way more about it - I think we were leaving boston on that trip?? Doug???
 

Maximilian_Jenius

Super User
....was prolly a 757 you were too close too. I have heard those things are horrible to trail maybe even worse then a 747.


Matthew

formerly Zen~Aku
 

naunga

New Member
Hi,

To be honest I find flying on an airliner a bit disconcerting. I'm with TheWife: I don't like to not be in control or at least aware of what is going on.

I have no problems flying around in a 172 since I can look at the altimeter and the VSI and see eventhough I'm getting tossed around the plane is still flying.

So if her fear is based on not having control...that make take some therapy to get her to let go for a while.

If the fear is stemming from just being afraid of some disasterous happening in flight, I would say a trip in a small plane with a trusted CFI would be helpful. Esspecially if she's in the left seat. She can then see that the plane still flies even in turbulance.

But like everyone else said, go slow, no pressure. Go up with her on a calm day for 20 minutes. Go through a pre-flight etc. Explain everything. Most fears are caused by a lack of knowledge. If you educate her chances are the fear will wane.

Good luck.

Naunga
 
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