I don't think that I've changed. I've grown older. But I'm also not going to excuse, or normalize an abnormal behavior.
Dude... I haven't psychoanalyzed you. I gave you my opinion however. Learn the difference. If I've done it in this thread, show me, where. Please. Sorry, bro. But Googling your f/o before flying with them is creepy af. Sorry, not sorry. If you want to find out how they are to fly with on a 3 or 4 day, ask other captains that have. Or better yet, ask them personally, you're going to be sitting in a cockpit the size of a closet for 3-5 days, make the most of it. Did you know before cellphones and the internet that people used to actually talk to each other, face to face? Nothing you find on the net is going to tell you about how they are in a V1 cut. Googling someone is just prying. You're prying. What you're doing IMO is a violation. Being a behavioralist at work, I'm trained to observe behaviors, intercede if someone is in crisis. Talk, but more importantly listen. Understand the person, the behavior presented and most importantly why the person is demonstrating said behaviors. In order to keep them safe, their peers, my fellow employees and the milieu.
We go through a type of similar training regarding behaviors like police do, while in the academy. What I've learned over the course of 12 yrs. is that people
always do things for a specific reason. Sometimes its a conscious decision, sometimes its an unconscious reason. But always for a reason. So honestly why do you need to Goggle someone online, why do need to know their hobbies, or what kind of car that they have, or what color it is? Or how many kids they have? Or whatever pops up in a Google search, how does that type of behavior better your life and yourself as a person? It's also super hypocritical that you're looking them up online, but you're actually glad that there is nothing online pertaining to you that someone can pull up on a Google search.
If you want my
opinion, not a psychoanalyzation. I would think that doing this type of behaviors is someone who is inept and lacks social skills, someone that a very insecure, possibly a weak type of person, who would do this to establish Alpha, i.e. control from the jump, especially if they announced it, as they did in
@CFIscare scenario. CFIscare's captain took his dick out of his pants and plopped it on the table metaphorically. If they didn't divulge, then maybe they would just be getting off on the idea of feeling/being powerful, of knowing that they know about the guy/girl in secret, and that the other person that they Googled has no clue. I'm not necessarily saying that what I explained in this paragraph is you. But I'm saying as a type of general opinion, observation.
tlrd;
Seriously dude, again, in my unprofessional opinion. This is aberrant behavior and it shouldn't be normalized. Do you or anyone that does this type of behavior totally lack social skills that badly? That you can't actually talk to someone on a 3-5 day pairing and ask questions and learn about the person first hand. Instead of being a shadow creep and going online to find out? If your f/o straight up said How's your (wife name), how's your two kids (says their names)? I saw that you're originally from (says state) and that you're renting your current house in CA. Wouldn't that totally creep you the f' out? Wouldn't you want to be like a snake shedding its skin to get away from that sh- . Honest question dude. It's not alright, stop it.