I intended to get to this earlier than now, at 10 pages, but I'm here now. I'm not going to go into my history of why I loved airplanes and aviation....it's not relevant to the original question. Suffice it to say I was an airplane nerd from an early age. I'll share this much...
...dealing with the trauma of the ending of my first marriage, I was standing on the back porch of a house I couldn't afford, facing a future that was uncertain and gray in the beginning of an economic crisis, chainsmoking and wondering just who the hell I was and what was I going to do now?
And then a KingAir passed over my head, westbound, low enough that I thought it was going to ADS. And I decided right that minute that I was going to get my PPL.
That was....20-ish years ago now. I found JC a couple years later.
For me, I found something to run to...I had a good career before, mostly because of some skill, a little charisma, and a •-ton of dumb luck. But this? This is a chance for me to indulge the need to try and improve every landing. Or challenge my understanding of weather, physics and aerodynamics against the release. For me, I get to play a game every day I go to work - and I have to continually reinforce that...illusion...lest I let it turn into just a job.
And I'm not naive. I know that it can turn into a job. But I've only got 15 years left to do this. I've made a bet that I can keep it fun and lively long enough to retire before it feels like a job.
So every day I try to be kind to my crews, adapt to my Captains, and give the customers the best experience I can within the parameters I can affect. I behave on the road and take the ridiculousness in stride as best I can because I remember not having this job and the utter misery that came with trying to string together a couple of deals to make a number at the end of a quarter.
And I'm doubly weird...I like the people aspects of airline life. I like helping people get to where they want to go, and guiding them when they need it through the fabulous disaster that is JFK. I can't tell you how many times I've said, "Follow me," when someone was trying to find the AirTrain, or the number of times I've tried to assuage the anxiety of the nervous flyer. I'm pissed that in the USA, in major cities, all the signs are only in English. That's effing dumb.
I buy beignets for my crew when we go to New Orleans because someone has to buy you beignets, goddammit, and they're delicious and it matters and I love that I can do that. Hot beignets are a beautiful thing.
I'll not romanticize it too much; that would insult a number of you. But for me, even on the days when I'm exhausted and desperate to make a commute home and silently plotting the demise of the Other Pilot who may bump me from the jump seat, it's still better than the best day I had in telecommunications over 25 years. I know where I came from, and I remember it every day.
This job is a gift. A messy, painful, often frustrating bitch of a gift.
But a gift nonetheless. I'll die before I do anything else.