Warning: This is “stream of consciousness” so apologies for grammar, spelling or meandering content.
I know we get some soft words from the FAA, maybe something else from the company about taking care of yourself and understanding where you are psychologically, but yes, lets talk about mental health.
Yes, there is a stigma on the topic, but it’s largely a stigma that needs to go away.
People don’t always feel good, that makes us human. But when people consistently feel poorly, it might be something they want to talk about what friends or family who care (not just the fair weather friends or an aunt more concerned about self-image or an uncle that seems to think a hunting trip will cure all that ails) but people you have profound conversations with and that there’s an element of mutual trust.
When you’re healthy, those emotional ‘downs’ are temporary because your brain’s “shock absorbers” are working well, conversely, when you’re in a psychological struggle, those “shock absorbers” (Well, serotonin among other things, to be fair, to counterbalance cortisol spikes, this is WAY simplified) don’t work as well and the lows become lower and persist for a longer period of time which can start a spiral of sorts.
I didn’t know the pilot that well, I’ve seen him once at the airport and a lot online and you could tell he had a lot of stuff going on because he seemed everything from anxious to angry to, well, prone to be negative where it wasn’t warranted.
He killed himself on Thanksgiving.
I know it sounds harsh, but at the end of the day, that’s the decision that he made. I’m not a believer in flowery words to lessen the impact of what happened, he didn’t die doing what he loved, he didn’t turn on “Requiem for a Dream” by the fireplace under soft lighting, repeat a Shakespearean soliloquy and take a single poison pill. He killed himself and there’s nothing soft, romantic or theatrical about it.
Was he seeking help? Again, we weren’t friends so I really don’t know.
What caused it? Again, I have no idea.
Did he have other problems? I haven’t a clue.
He could be sitting right next to me on a train and I wouldn’t have known it was him, apart from his name tag or pilot ID.
But this isn’t the first time a friend, colleague or fellow professional aviator has willfully killed themselves. But what I DO know is that people that I knew well and befriended who made that choice never reached out and left their social circles and family in complete shock. Maybe the idea of that level of emotional intimacy seemed “gross” to them or they didn’t know they had a problem until a deeply terrible choice was made but maybe someone reading this might seek help or reach out.
If you’re logged in reading this, you’re a member of Jetcareers. You at least, bare minimum have my ear if you aren’t feeling well, you’re always welcome to email me, shoot me a PM or we can even talk on the telephone. I may be helpful, I may not, but if you need to ‘talk it out’, let’s talk it out. I’m sure there are other people on JC as well that could lend you an ear. I tend to want to solve everything and unravel life’s tangled mess, so you need to tell me “I just need an ear, not a fix” and I can turn off my “Mr Fix It” and just listen.
Yes, it’s that time of the year when people make dumb decisions. Talk it out. Seek help if you need it. If you’ve got no one, you at least have people here if you reach out.
Suicide is a permanent solution to what very well may be a very temporary problem.
I know we get some soft words from the FAA, maybe something else from the company about taking care of yourself and understanding where you are psychologically, but yes, lets talk about mental health.
Yes, there is a stigma on the topic, but it’s largely a stigma that needs to go away.
People don’t always feel good, that makes us human. But when people consistently feel poorly, it might be something they want to talk about what friends or family who care (not just the fair weather friends or an aunt more concerned about self-image or an uncle that seems to think a hunting trip will cure all that ails) but people you have profound conversations with and that there’s an element of mutual trust.
When you’re healthy, those emotional ‘downs’ are temporary because your brain’s “shock absorbers” are working well, conversely, when you’re in a psychological struggle, those “shock absorbers” (Well, serotonin among other things, to be fair, to counterbalance cortisol spikes, this is WAY simplified) don’t work as well and the lows become lower and persist for a longer period of time which can start a spiral of sorts.
I didn’t know the pilot that well, I’ve seen him once at the airport and a lot online and you could tell he had a lot of stuff going on because he seemed everything from anxious to angry to, well, prone to be negative where it wasn’t warranted.
He killed himself on Thanksgiving.
I know it sounds harsh, but at the end of the day, that’s the decision that he made. I’m not a believer in flowery words to lessen the impact of what happened, he didn’t die doing what he loved, he didn’t turn on “Requiem for a Dream” by the fireplace under soft lighting, repeat a Shakespearean soliloquy and take a single poison pill. He killed himself and there’s nothing soft, romantic or theatrical about it.
Was he seeking help? Again, we weren’t friends so I really don’t know.
What caused it? Again, I have no idea.
Did he have other problems? I haven’t a clue.
He could be sitting right next to me on a train and I wouldn’t have known it was him, apart from his name tag or pilot ID.
But this isn’t the first time a friend, colleague or fellow professional aviator has willfully killed themselves. But what I DO know is that people that I knew well and befriended who made that choice never reached out and left their social circles and family in complete shock. Maybe the idea of that level of emotional intimacy seemed “gross” to them or they didn’t know they had a problem until a deeply terrible choice was made but maybe someone reading this might seek help or reach out.
If you’re logged in reading this, you’re a member of Jetcareers. You at least, bare minimum have my ear if you aren’t feeling well, you’re always welcome to email me, shoot me a PM or we can even talk on the telephone. I may be helpful, I may not, but if you need to ‘talk it out’, let’s talk it out. I’m sure there are other people on JC as well that could lend you an ear. I tend to want to solve everything and unravel life’s tangled mess, so you need to tell me “I just need an ear, not a fix” and I can turn off my “Mr Fix It” and just listen.
Yes, it’s that time of the year when people make dumb decisions. Talk it out. Seek help if you need it. If you’ve got no one, you at least have people here if you reach out.
Suicide is a permanent solution to what very well may be a very temporary problem.
