Firebird2XC
Well-Known Member
A while back I decided to critique every demographic of aviation pundits as I found suitable inspiration. Specifically, Velocipede's demographic was to be next. Keep in mind, these are just my opinions based upon the past year's observations. Demands for facts, statistics,or evidence will be met with Knock-Knock Jokes and naughty limericks (about you). Ladies and Gentlemen- ready your flamethrowers, and- Enjoy!
That's right, I said it! All you crusty old timers rotting your way towards retirement over there in the left seat. Hurry up and retire- you've had your moment in the sun. You're clogging up the seniority list for the rest of us.
Yeah, you've weathered the ups and downs over the years. So will we! Given time everybody sees all things. Us up and comers listen and learn. We make mistakes- but then again, so did you. You continue to do so, from time to time, as well.
Let's go over a few of those!
First off, your ranting about who's ruining the profession:
Your take is that the "Ipod wearing, backpack-toting, spikey-haired FOs" coming up through the ranks are the ones undermining your efforts to somehow singlehandedly right the wrongs done to pilot groups in the industry. REALLY?
It was the old hands at the major airlines, perched at the pinnacle of the profession, that said "Hell no, we won't fly those little jets!" You passed on the chance to grow with the industry and sidestepped anything you thought might result in "too low of a payscale". Nice move! Now, when the narrowbody 'mainline' aircraft used to be the starting point for 121 air carriers, we're swamped with so-called 'Regional Airlines'. While you poke fun and call names (Replacement Jets, anyone?) in reality you have nobody to blame but yourself.
You were given the option, and somehow managed to turn around and screw EVERYBODY in the process.
Everybody? Yep. By creating a new sub-class of airlines, we've created new leverage for the mainline management groups to whipsaw us against each other. Now, it doesn't matter if you're union or non-union. You might have two non-union carriers flying contracts for the same major- and both trying to undercut the other. We've got a whipsaw no matter what we do.
Sitting there, raving about how the 'new guys' working our way up are 'driving down' pay doesn't change the fact that if the 'Replacement Jet' Airlines hadn't been created there wouldn't be a situation like that in the first place. Now, the entry level airline jobs pay a fraction of what they used to.
TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE-
You 'flow back' into the regionals. Using your mainline pilot group influence, when things turn bad in the industry, you go fishing for jobs back in the regionals. We've become your fall back job. So when you flood back into a regional and flush the list into stagnation, it puts the lower seniority pilots out on the street. Nice! Even if it doesn't furlow anybody, now we have a bunch of pilots that 'negotiatied' entry onto the same seniority list FROM THE TOP and did it at the top of the pay scale too. There goes our industry competitive labor costs. Better cut pilots wages again... too bad for the FOs. Then, when things go better still and the regionals ask to be thrown a bone like preferential hiring, you do everything you can to pull the rope up behind you.
But it doesn't stop there!
You sit fat and happy at the top of the list, and your moment to go back to flying the 'real' jets at the 'real' airline finally comes. You drag your feet! You don't want to go back to the bottom of the seniority list and sit reserve, and you don't want to go to the bottom of the pay scale. No way, buster! You'd rather 'decline' to go back where you were in the first place and retire at the regional airline. In doing so, those of us who are still working our way up in the first place are further slowed in our progress up the seniority list. Hey, THANKS, PAL!
Oh, and don't forget-
THE 'PAY FOR JOBS' CROWD IS RUINING THE INDUSTRY!
How ironic. Irony you say? How could there possibly be irony in that statement? Simple!
In the days gone by, there were no regional airlines. You either slugged it out for years do whatever flying you could, or you took the ORIGINAL 'Jet Course'- the U.S. Military! You signed on for six or seven years. Maybe you went to a service academy! After a six figure PAID EDUCATION, you went on to receive a SEVEN FIGURE training program in the U.S. Military. It's possible ALL of your flight time has been in turbine powered airplanes. Gee, that's interesting. So where did this money come from?
TAX PAYERS. That's right- you were a 'pay for training' op, too. But somebody else paid for it. But wait- that sort of deal must involve some sort of committment, right? Right. Six or seven years for some, 18 to 20 for others.
So after getting paid a fat salary (plus benefits, etc) to log time for a few years, you side-stepped, easy as you please, into the major airlines. How'd you get the time to do that in so few years? I've personally seen the 'fat pencil' too many times to count. Once around that traffic pattern? Why, log that as a 1.5! Nevermind the money you just wasted in associated operating costs. Fraud gets you there faster!
"That's not fair," you say. What about the guys that did 20 years! They made it a career! They certainly did. Those are the guys that flooded the civilian helicopter market and didn't care how much they made because of their pensions. They're the same guys that go to work for an airline and don't worry what they make today or tomorrow- they're just doing it FOR FUN. Well, gee, good for them. While you fly as few possible hours every month and drop every trip you can, there's a guy or gal coming up that WOULD KILL for your seat. People coming up the ranks paid your way, every step of the way before that big shiny airline gig, and then you clog up the ranks and ride out a second career to retirement. Swell!
This goes for the pilots with other careers that make 'WAY more money than I do here'. You show up and fly minimum time and squeeze the payroll and the seniority list for all its worth and then leave those of us who have this job as a primary profession with whatever's left. THANKS!
Yes, we're grateful for the military service you provided us with, guys. Alot of us know the sacrifice. Alot of us were former military, too. We were the ones that supported your mile-high antics, praying you'd misplace your 'extra fat pencil'. Some of us were the ones actually out in those third world combat zones, instead of just flying in and out again from some cushy base elsewhere while claiming a month's worth of combat tax exemption. Knocking your Annapolis or West Point ring on the desk doesn't get you much credence with us. Gratitude- and your resulting sense of entitlement, only goes so far.
It doesn't get really good until you flow back, and take up a regional seat, too.
Then there's the whole "the new FOs appearance is bringing us all down!"
Okay. For every FO I've seen with a rumpled shirt or spikey hair, I've seen some corpulent, crumpled, cardiac-waiting-to-happen captain. Nothing inspires confidence like some aging greybeard that's wheezing like he's about to die after walking down the jetway. Nice! Some of your cockpit habits are a bit unprofessional, too. We've all taken turns reading the paper while the other guy minded the store, sure. That's one thing. Looking up from dialing in some setting and seeing you nodding off on the second leg of the day- that's inspiring.
I've learned that if I flip my intercom switch to the 'hot' position intermittently, I can train some captains to WAKE UP ON CUE.
Neat, huh?
Ahhh yes- the union thumping. Almost forgot that one. For every "I bleed ALPA" guy I've met I've met somebody with the "What's ALPA done for me lately?" attitude. Yep- we're inheriting every mistake ever made. That "don't you dare forget the struggles of those before you" tirade is getting a bit worn, too. Most of you, while old, are still young enough that you inherited the bulk of the efforts of the past, too. You just coasted on in during the boom years and rode it out. When the strike vote came down, you just went and took a few weeks off. Let the new kids walk the picket line! I'm pro-union, sure, but it's time to consider an overhaul, seriously. Only now, when it's realized that outsourcing to the regionals YOUR actions enabled are causing YOU problems are the unions taking action to seriously protect the pilots at that level.
Oh wait, I forgot- half of you wound up at that level. Self interest strikes again.
Last but not least, let's not forget one of my personal favorites- standardization. Ah, yes, standardization, that safety feature where procedures are always the same to reduce workload and increase situational awareness.
Forget that! I've taken to asking up front- "okay, the new change says X... but how have YOU been doing it the past umpteen years?"
Obviously, the image I'm depicting does not represent all captains I've worked with or heard about. It's unfortunate, but their actions are far more memorable than those captains whose actions were befitting their rank, station, and tenure.
In other words, all you captains, stop and consider cleaning your OWN house before you so eagerly look for problems elsewhere.
(I will now don my asbestos suit and await the flaming. I brought marshmellows! - Charlie)
That's right, I said it! All you crusty old timers rotting your way towards retirement over there in the left seat. Hurry up and retire- you've had your moment in the sun. You're clogging up the seniority list for the rest of us.
Yeah, you've weathered the ups and downs over the years. So will we! Given time everybody sees all things. Us up and comers listen and learn. We make mistakes- but then again, so did you. You continue to do so, from time to time, as well.
Let's go over a few of those!
First off, your ranting about who's ruining the profession:
Your take is that the "Ipod wearing, backpack-toting, spikey-haired FOs" coming up through the ranks are the ones undermining your efforts to somehow singlehandedly right the wrongs done to pilot groups in the industry. REALLY?
It was the old hands at the major airlines, perched at the pinnacle of the profession, that said "Hell no, we won't fly those little jets!" You passed on the chance to grow with the industry and sidestepped anything you thought might result in "too low of a payscale". Nice move! Now, when the narrowbody 'mainline' aircraft used to be the starting point for 121 air carriers, we're swamped with so-called 'Regional Airlines'. While you poke fun and call names (Replacement Jets, anyone?) in reality you have nobody to blame but yourself.
You were given the option, and somehow managed to turn around and screw EVERYBODY in the process.
Everybody? Yep. By creating a new sub-class of airlines, we've created new leverage for the mainline management groups to whipsaw us against each other. Now, it doesn't matter if you're union or non-union. You might have two non-union carriers flying contracts for the same major- and both trying to undercut the other. We've got a whipsaw no matter what we do.
Sitting there, raving about how the 'new guys' working our way up are 'driving down' pay doesn't change the fact that if the 'Replacement Jet' Airlines hadn't been created there wouldn't be a situation like that in the first place. Now, the entry level airline jobs pay a fraction of what they used to.
TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE-
You 'flow back' into the regionals. Using your mainline pilot group influence, when things turn bad in the industry, you go fishing for jobs back in the regionals. We've become your fall back job. So when you flood back into a regional and flush the list into stagnation, it puts the lower seniority pilots out on the street. Nice! Even if it doesn't furlow anybody, now we have a bunch of pilots that 'negotiatied' entry onto the same seniority list FROM THE TOP and did it at the top of the pay scale too. There goes our industry competitive labor costs. Better cut pilots wages again... too bad for the FOs. Then, when things go better still and the regionals ask to be thrown a bone like preferential hiring, you do everything you can to pull the rope up behind you.
But it doesn't stop there!
You sit fat and happy at the top of the list, and your moment to go back to flying the 'real' jets at the 'real' airline finally comes. You drag your feet! You don't want to go back to the bottom of the seniority list and sit reserve, and you don't want to go to the bottom of the pay scale. No way, buster! You'd rather 'decline' to go back where you were in the first place and retire at the regional airline. In doing so, those of us who are still working our way up in the first place are further slowed in our progress up the seniority list. Hey, THANKS, PAL!
Oh, and don't forget-
THE 'PAY FOR JOBS' CROWD IS RUINING THE INDUSTRY!
How ironic. Irony you say? How could there possibly be irony in that statement? Simple!
In the days gone by, there were no regional airlines. You either slugged it out for years do whatever flying you could, or you took the ORIGINAL 'Jet Course'- the U.S. Military! You signed on for six or seven years. Maybe you went to a service academy! After a six figure PAID EDUCATION, you went on to receive a SEVEN FIGURE training program in the U.S. Military. It's possible ALL of your flight time has been in turbine powered airplanes. Gee, that's interesting. So where did this money come from?
TAX PAYERS. That's right- you were a 'pay for training' op, too. But somebody else paid for it. But wait- that sort of deal must involve some sort of committment, right? Right. Six or seven years for some, 18 to 20 for others.
So after getting paid a fat salary (plus benefits, etc) to log time for a few years, you side-stepped, easy as you please, into the major airlines. How'd you get the time to do that in so few years? I've personally seen the 'fat pencil' too many times to count. Once around that traffic pattern? Why, log that as a 1.5! Nevermind the money you just wasted in associated operating costs. Fraud gets you there faster!
"That's not fair," you say. What about the guys that did 20 years! They made it a career! They certainly did. Those are the guys that flooded the civilian helicopter market and didn't care how much they made because of their pensions. They're the same guys that go to work for an airline and don't worry what they make today or tomorrow- they're just doing it FOR FUN. Well, gee, good for them. While you fly as few possible hours every month and drop every trip you can, there's a guy or gal coming up that WOULD KILL for your seat. People coming up the ranks paid your way, every step of the way before that big shiny airline gig, and then you clog up the ranks and ride out a second career to retirement. Swell!
This goes for the pilots with other careers that make 'WAY more money than I do here'. You show up and fly minimum time and squeeze the payroll and the seniority list for all its worth and then leave those of us who have this job as a primary profession with whatever's left. THANKS!
Yes, we're grateful for the military service you provided us with, guys. Alot of us know the sacrifice. Alot of us were former military, too. We were the ones that supported your mile-high antics, praying you'd misplace your 'extra fat pencil'. Some of us were the ones actually out in those third world combat zones, instead of just flying in and out again from some cushy base elsewhere while claiming a month's worth of combat tax exemption. Knocking your Annapolis or West Point ring on the desk doesn't get you much credence with us. Gratitude- and your resulting sense of entitlement, only goes so far.
It doesn't get really good until you flow back, and take up a regional seat, too.
Then there's the whole "the new FOs appearance is bringing us all down!"
Okay. For every FO I've seen with a rumpled shirt or spikey hair, I've seen some corpulent, crumpled, cardiac-waiting-to-happen captain. Nothing inspires confidence like some aging greybeard that's wheezing like he's about to die after walking down the jetway. Nice! Some of your cockpit habits are a bit unprofessional, too. We've all taken turns reading the paper while the other guy minded the store, sure. That's one thing. Looking up from dialing in some setting and seeing you nodding off on the second leg of the day- that's inspiring.
I've learned that if I flip my intercom switch to the 'hot' position intermittently, I can train some captains to WAKE UP ON CUE.
Neat, huh?
Ahhh yes- the union thumping. Almost forgot that one. For every "I bleed ALPA" guy I've met I've met somebody with the "What's ALPA done for me lately?" attitude. Yep- we're inheriting every mistake ever made. That "don't you dare forget the struggles of those before you" tirade is getting a bit worn, too. Most of you, while old, are still young enough that you inherited the bulk of the efforts of the past, too. You just coasted on in during the boom years and rode it out. When the strike vote came down, you just went and took a few weeks off. Let the new kids walk the picket line! I'm pro-union, sure, but it's time to consider an overhaul, seriously. Only now, when it's realized that outsourcing to the regionals YOUR actions enabled are causing YOU problems are the unions taking action to seriously protect the pilots at that level.
Oh wait, I forgot- half of you wound up at that level. Self interest strikes again.
Last but not least, let's not forget one of my personal favorites- standardization. Ah, yes, standardization, that safety feature where procedures are always the same to reduce workload and increase situational awareness.
Forget that! I've taken to asking up front- "okay, the new change says X... but how have YOU been doing it the past umpteen years?"
Obviously, the image I'm depicting does not represent all captains I've worked with or heard about. It's unfortunate, but their actions are far more memorable than those captains whose actions were befitting their rank, station, and tenure.
In other words, all you captains, stop and consider cleaning your OWN house before you so eagerly look for problems elsewhere.
(I will now don my asbestos suit and await the flaming. I brought marshmellows! - Charlie)
