First, I am sorry to hear about your family's E.R. situation. I hope everything works out well there.
Don't feel bad about not doing both x-countries on the same day. They SHOULD be done on different days, especially if you are in ground school. Did you learn from the first one? I can tell by your post that you did. If so, you need a little time to apply those lessons to the next flight. In addition, you will need to apply some different techniques for a night operation.
I'd like to address the instructor (IP) on the controls. Your IP should be demonstrating the maneuver before asking you to try. Maybe, if you need additional help, he should allow you to 'follow-along' on the controls while he demonstrates. But, he should not, as a general rule, be on the controls while you practice maneuvers. He should be 'ready' to take control should the need arise, but with hands in lap. You might want to speak frankly about this with him, or ask for an instructor change. At the very least, fly with a different instructor once to get a feel of a different instructing style.
Regarding days off: be sure you have a written request submitted and approved before you assume you will not be scheduled. If you are not getting the customer service you think you deserve, ask your instructor to take you to the customer service people or go there alone. You have an occasional family need to address and that MUST come first. After all, if you are constantly worried about them or creating tension at home, you cannot concentrate on training. An LOA can be a good thing, if you need one.
I used to be an instructor at DCA. If you want to talk, pm me.