Childless Couples by choice?

Yup, I haven't gotten snipped yet, but I keep meaning to. Not having kids to worry about sure is a big help to the aviation career.
 
Derg said:
Several!
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killbilly said:
Yes. Why?
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SeatClutcher said:
Yup.
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Jimmy_Norton said:
Yup, I haven't gotten snipped yet, but I keep meaning to. Not having kids to worry about sure is a big help to the aviation career.
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OK! Well, I should have been a little more specific when I started the thread. The wife and I are in our 30's (well, not too far in!) and we were discussing family life; and of course the conversation ended up veering in the direction of having kids.With the wife being back in school (for her RN stuff), no kids for us the next 2 years at least. After that, not sure, if we do want to have kids.

Now, to the childless couples - do you regret not having kids? Likelihood of this decision changing?
 
Shiftace said:
OK! Well, I should have been a little more specific when I started the thread. The wife and I are in our 30's (well, not too far in!) and we were discussing family life; and of course the conversation ended up veering in the direction of having kids.With the wife being back in school (for her RN stuff), no kids for us the next 2 years at least. After that, not sure, if we do want to have kids.

Now, to the childless couples - do you regret not having kids? Likelihood of this decision changing?
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1. Nope.
2. 0%
 
When I was 14 with braces on my teeth mom was driving me to the Orthodontist in the brand new Kingswood Estate Wagon with wood on the side. She told me when I had children, I'd have to make some sacrifices for the children and braces cost a lot of money (I was first of 3 kids).

Then why do people have kids? I asked.

You'll understand when you're older, she said.

Few things my parents ever said had more effect on me than that.

Another life experience drove home the point. When I was 16 my good friend got his girlfriend pregnant, he was paying child support before we got out of high school.

Today I'm 57 years old. No kids and have never looked back. My wife and I feel the same way about enjoying someones kids when we see them but have no desire to have our own.

A couple of years ago my neighbor asked how we afford to own horses and an airplane? He figured we made the same money. I responded; You have two kids in collage and another in junior high...

When it comes to money and my time I'm too selfish to have kids.

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Jimmy_Norton said:
1. Nope.
2. 0%
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Yep, same here. No regrets. Both my Fiancé and I are mid-30s, been together over 4 years. We enjoy the DINK lifestyle! We work as little as possible, travel often, go out all the time, etc. Very happy with it.

Some people are just wired wanting to have kids. It seems to be an urge as strong as having sex. That's great, and I'm happy that provides so much enjoyment in their lives. Other people feel obligated by family and/or society. I think that happens a lot actually... It just becomes a thing to do. I've even heard of people having kids in a naive attempt to fix a failing relationship. Of course that never works, and now these poor kids are exposed to two idiots.
 
fholbert said:
When it comes to money and my time I'm too selfish to have kids.
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Here in small town MN/ND - if you don't have a bunch of kids by the time you are 22 - you are weird. :-) Someone at my old office, said childless couples were "selfish". Have you ever had to deal with that from friends/family?
 
Shiftace said:
Here in small town MN/ND - if you don't have a bunch of kids by the time you are 22 - you are weird. :)
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I do think a lot of people have kids because they feel they're supposed too. My younger siblings both had an unplanned kid before they were 20 and struggled financially. I think I looked a lot smarter at the time arriving Thanksgiving Day in my new car holding my new Commercial Pilots license and a attractive woman on the arm.

I've had my share of breedings but one never took.

Shiftace said:
Someone at my old office, said childless couples were "selfish". Have you ever had to deal with that from friends/family?
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No, I'd agree with them. Heck, I don't even know how to change a diaper.
 
Shiftace said:
Here in small town MN/ND - if you don't have a bunch of kids by the time you are 22 - you are weird. :) Someone at my old office, said childless couples were "selfish". Have you ever had to deal with that from friends/family?
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Nope but screw em if they think that. Do what is best for you, not what some office broad thinks you should do.
 
Jimmy_Norton said:
Nope but screw em if they think that. Do what is best for you, not what some office broad thinks you should do.
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Yup - screw 'em. It's pretty amazing that people would say that someone is selfish based on their choices.
 
Itchy said:
Much better than having unwanted kids. Do whatever fits your plan. Personally, I could not imagine life without my children, but I would never look differently at childless couples.
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Yup. I love my kids, could NOT imagine my life without them. I knew I wanted a couple kids, the way someone else "knows" they want to fly planes.

However, being a parent is not for everyone, and I think that an individual or couple who is self-aware enough to make the decision not to have kids is commendable and they should in NO way ever be made to feel "bad" or "weird" in making that decision.

If you want kids, have kids. If you don't want kids, don't have kids. I don't see why it has to be any more complicated than that.
 
The regret question is weird. I'm not sure why someone who didn't want kids would regret it later when they don't have them. If anything, if they feel what they're calling "regret," it's probably because they have since changed their mind and want them NOW...that is, to have them around for this moment now that they've changed their mind/become lonely/had a crisis, but they certainly didn't want them before, didn't want to spend the rest of their lives raising them, or they would have tried to have them.

Life is about choices, and you make the choices that will ensure you're living the life you want to live to the best of your ability. People could change their minds about any number of things ten years later - college major, career choice, spouse choice (even kids they've already had) - and when or whether that will happen is impossible to predict. "Are you afraid you'll regret not having kids later?" (something many people ask) implies that you should aim your life in a direction that MIGHT eliminate regret felt on a porch at 90 years old, that maybe you should give birth and overhaul your life even if you don't want to, on the off-chance you'll have second thoughts in the future. Seems way more risky than following your instincts and doing what you know right now will make your life what you already know you want it to be.

I think the "regret" question is also the result of an assumption that at some point, everyone wants, or will want to have had, kids. And that's just not the case.
 
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