Like high-quality hot cider, eh?
Childless Couples by choice?
- Thread starter Shiftace
- Start date
Like high-quality hot cider, eh?
cezzna
Well-Known Member
I am the opposite. Two marriages, six kids, blended family. It's not for the faint of heart. Out of six we have
- one normal functioning mid 20's.
- two young 20's, not in school, heroin addicts, in and out of treatment
- one tweenager, behind the curve, currently on the upswing from trying 'cutting'.
- one tweenager, adopted from foster care, in intensive thearpy, been in residential treatment this year for psych issues.
- one ten year old, low functioning autism, non-verbal, not potty trained, impervious to any therapy or functional help, but well adjusted,
- one ex-wife who completely dropped the ball and parents a whopping 5 hrs. a week.
Now crack me a beer and keep them coming.
Any doubts you ever had are now buried forever!
- one normal functioning mid 20's.
- two young 20's, not in school, heroin addicts, in and out of treatment
- one tweenager, behind the curve, currently on the upswing from trying 'cutting'.
- one tweenager, adopted from foster care, in intensive thearpy, been in residential treatment this year for psych issues.
- one ten year old, low functioning autism, non-verbal, not potty trained, impervious to any therapy or functional help, but well adjusted,
- one ex-wife who completely dropped the ball and parents a whopping 5 hrs. a week.
Now crack me a beer and keep them coming.
Any doubts you ever had are now buried forever!
jarhead28
Well-Known Member
We have one, she is 17 months. I wouldn't mind having another but have a lazze faire feeling about it. My wife has been nagging me asking me "are going to try", then cries every time she isn't pregnant.
Sex is great but doing it on demand and a schedule when you don't feel like it is no fun! It's almost like work.
Jafari RastaMan
Well-Known Member
Tell her I wont pay for a job (thanks for the advice, Doug), but I will work for free.
wildfreightess
Well-Known Member
OMG, I'm having my tubes tied. At my age, those eggs are probably rotten anyway.
Nope....and definitely nope since I'm now snipped
Vector4Food
This job would be easier without all the airplanes
I was someone who didn't want kids.
Until I had one, makes me sad to think I used to think that way.
Having kids is a ton of work, but the reward personally is far greater than the effort.
The funny thing is people who say they don't want kids, truly don't know what it feels like until you have one.... but obviously there's no trial period.
25 year old me couldn't even picture 31 year old me.
Until I had one, makes me sad to think I used to think that way.
Having kids is a ton of work, but the reward personally is far greater than the effort.
The funny thing is people who say they don't want kids, truly don't know what it feels like until you have one.... but obviously there's no trial period.
25 year old me couldn't even picture 31 year old me.
Vector4Food
This job would be easier without all the airplanes
Holocene
Well-Known Member
Having kids is the more selfish act.
I honestly can't think of anything more selfish than forcing a child into existence for ones own personal reasons.
Sorry if this offends people.
A Life Aloft
Well-Known Member
I don't understand your reasoning. Being a parent is a very selfless act. You sacrifice a tremendous amount mentally, emotionally, physically, financially and time wise. You give up and put off many personal things/priorities to have and raise children and it is a huge, life long commitment.
Creating a life is wonderful and life changing and watching them grown into whatever person they become. You hope you have taught them/given them the tools of what they need to know, that they will learn even more,make the world a better place, reach their desires/goals, make good decisions, and live a happy fulfilling life of their choosing. Raising decent, productive people, well that is everyone's future and impacts people and the world in general and hopefully in a positive ways large and small.
You are actually doing something outside of your own wants and needs in many ways, by raising a child and trying to provide for him/her, giving them the best start you can, taking care of them and loving them forever. It is one of the most difficult, challenging, important and rewarding things that a person can do. How is this selfish exactly?
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SeatClutcher
Pasta.
Why sad? You didn't want them then, and you enjoy them now. No harm.
True. The thing is, many of us aren't interested in knowing. It's like anything else someone else enjoys that you don't want to do - you appreciate their enthusiasm, but it's just not for you.
Yikes, who can?
SeatClutcher
Pasta.
You can't call a choice you make to create something that in turn creates that extra work for you a sacrifice. Call it hard work, call it exhausting...but it's not a sacrifice. Its like anything else you want to do with your life that takes time and work. It's a conscious decision. (Unless you actually don't want them and have them purely because you feel it is your duty to country.)
And only a percentage of people raise productive members of society. Reproducing isn't a get-out-of-jail-free card in the category of being a good citizen.
By definition: Sacrifice: "Forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim." Yes, I forfeited my child-free existence to have kids. I "sacrificed" my child-free life, which was something highly valued, for something I see as a greater value, having had my kids.
Not everyone feels that way, and those who don't want to make that 'sacrifice' are free not to do so. And that's fine, I've said over & over many times that I think it's really great when a person recognizes that they do not want kids, and makes the life choices/decisions to stay that way. If that's what they want. However, going by the definition of sacrifice, yes, parents do sacrifice their child-free life for a life with kids.
Not arguing for or against having kids (that's an entirely personal matter that is up to each individual), just saying that yes, parents do 'sacrifice' (by definition) in the decision to have kids.
SeatClutcher
Pasta.
I'm not arguing for or against, either, but I think the definition is being used a little loosely here. "Sacrifice" has some pretty serious connotations. If I love my BMW but give it up so I can have a Ferrari, I'm not sacrificing the BMW - I'm making a choice. Someone who, during WWII, volunteered to fight in the war made a sacrifice by leaving a family or a love or a life they wanted. Having kids you want to have isn't a sacrifice.
Holy cow, I just realized how long I've known you. Back from the "Previous Last Name" days!
Holy cow, I just realized how long I've known you. Back from the "Previous Last Name" days!
I wrote the article for the JC main page in the summer of 2001. That was a whole other lifetime ago...!
I didn't join the forums til two years later, I was married & baby #1 on the way by that time. But yes, I've known you a long time now!
Strange how fast time flies. Was just hanging out with a friend who I met about four years before I met @MikeD and this guy, even though we met in the 80's, has a kid graduating from college. I don't even feel that old, but time flies.
Hell, I still remember when I met @MikeD when I got drunk and fell down the stairs in Prescott in 1989. Still feels like yesterday.
Hell, I still remember when I met @MikeD when I got drunk and fell down the stairs in Prescott in 1989. Still feels like yesterday.