Ehh… I feel like typing. Just a bit more.
No, the struggle isn’t over. That’s pedantic.
Human interaction is full of conscious and unconscious bias both positive and negative. When we aren’t aware of that bias, we end up rewarding familiarity instead of excellence. That’s why the
“I” in DEI matters.
Inclusion is about creating space for people who aren’t like you. Read that carefully.
Imagine you have three candidates with identical qualifications:
- A Black man
- A woman
- An Asian man
As a Black man, society has conditioned me to unconsciously
adjust—to mimic the speech patterns and mannerisms of the people around me. I might have a slight drawl around Southerners. I speak differently with my family. I can even out-
milbro the milbros. Not because it’s fun, but because it helps make
you more comfortable and makes me seem less alien
to you, so I can communicate effectively without being treated like a threat. If you stand behind me and hover when I'm working, culturally, it communicates that you don't trust me and that you're merely doing me a favor by letting me be in your domain. My brain thinks "ahh, you think you're my 'master'"
A woman is often conditioned to be assertive, but not
too assertive. Because in our culture, an assertive woman is quickly labeled “difficult” or “the b-word.” So many women learn to dance around topics to avoid offending
you or creating a negative impression
for you.
Many Asians are culturally conditioned to show respect through restraint. They may not lean in or dominate space at a table. They might sit further back. They may seem less engaged to a typical American - not because they don’t care, but because they’re signaling respect in a way that isn’t culturally “loud.”
DEI training exists to help people understand these differences, communicate more effectively, and build an environment where the best people can thrive. And yes—where companies make
a lot more money because the best ideas actually rise to the top.
It’s the same with age. The political zeitgeist has no issue being openly ageist, which is ridiculously stupid.
Boomers:
Because of the world they grew up in, Boomers tend to be more self-sufficient, more skeptical, and sometimes more grievance-oriented. They were raised in the post-WWII era, when America was prosperous (for some) and the world seemed wide open. When reality didn’t match those expectations, it created resentment… especially as the world shifted away from American dominance.
Generation X:
We were raised in the post-Boom, early disco era. Parents disappeared for a week, left $20 on the counter, and we figured it out. We came home to empty houses, took care of ourselves, and as long as we were home when the street lights came on, everything was fine. No cell phones, no email, no digital trail. Our formative years were largely undocumented. We’re known for being self-sufficient, a little standoffish, and honestly - we’d prefer you just leave us alone.
Millennials:
The product of highly curated parenting. Baby Einstein. Helicopter involvement. Constant supervision. A world padded to remove sharp edges, failure, and discomfort. Driven everywhere...garage to school and back (because buses were “too scary.”) Shuttled from activity to activity, then dropped at home with exhausted parents, an iPad, and chicken fingers. So they need more engagement, more validation and well, memes?
Alright, I’m tired of typing.
But the point is this: the more we understand each other, talk to each other, and apply those lessons to create better working environments, the more we thrive - not just as companies, but as a nation.
That drive for understanding is what DEI is.
If you don't understand why I might struggle to fit in, or why the other person seems less engaging because they're sitting a foot back from the table and not touching it, or why Jill seems a little weaker because "we need to go around" came out of "I think we need to go around, right?" we're doing ourselves a disservice as a culture.
That’s literally all it is.