Childless Couples by choice?

I wouldn't say she strongly wants them, and somedays she doesn't at all. I'm happy with dogs, dogs don't go to college, dogs don't try to get their pilot certs, and you can leave a dog alone with food and water while you go to work. You can't do that with a kid.
 
Ajax said:
I wouldn't say she strongly wants them, and somedays she doesn't at all. I'm happy with dogs, dogs don't go to college, dogs don't try to get their pilot certs, and you can leave a dog alone with food and water while you go to work. You can't do that with a kid.
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And they don't go to Stanford for Chemical Engineering, switch majors to Art History and then want a $50K wedding to become a SAHM! :) *

*True story from one of my captains.
 
killbilly said:
You don't say whether or not this is something you want, and that's your business. I personally would find it kind of insensitive for people to ask that question. They likely mean well, but they likely aren't considering that there may be a good reason.

My wife and I are pushing 40 at this point, and no one asks us this. Maybe we just seem too old to have kids? I dunno. But if someone asked me "why don't you have kids?" I'd probably just reply, "Why don't you have cats?"

Either that, or I'd mutter something about having to register at the Sherriff's office. Depends on whether or not I like these people. :)
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Somewhat related, I think its hilarious how people can say "we're trying to have a baby" in public and it not be strange. But say "we're screwing like bunnies!" and suddenly its taboo.
 
ozziecat35 said:
To chime in from the opposite end of the spectrum like a few others have, having kids is not for everyone and I really respect that. My daughter is my pride and joy, and we're expecting number 2 in November, but the sacrifices I've had to make at that expense are huge. I wouldn't change any decisions we've made, but I do realize they come at a cost. The small bastion of single guy'ness left in me is jealous when I see other members on this site doing amazing stuff. If I were single and childless I'd still be in the Army and flying UH-60's by now.

I think everyone gets to a point in their life where they're mature enough to decide what they want. I wanted kids, but that's not for everyone. I think it's pretty respectable to know that and not feel pressured into such a monumental lifestyle change. (3 am bottles & croup are not for the faint of heart.) On the other hand, I look at my 4 year old realize how awesome my life is...but again, it's not for everyone.
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It's possible that I have low standards for my own life, and it's also possible I'm a horrible father, but 6 months in, I don't feel like I've given up anything, nor have I found our daughter to be that expensive. We've cut back on the frequency in which we do activities that don't involve our daughter, but they sure aren't gone.

And it was actually fly22 that clued me into this. A few years before we had our kid, he told me, "You know, people complain about giving up all this stuff for their kids, but I just don't see it. Do I play fewer rounds of golf these days? Sure, but when I'm not playing golf, I'm playing with my daughter, and honestly that's what I'd rather do. It's not a sacrifice, it's a choice of how to spend your time."
 
jtrain609 said:
It's possible that I have low standards for my own life, and it's also possible I'm a horrible father, but 6 months in, I don't feel like I've given up anything, nor have I found our daughter to be that expensive. We've cut back on the frequency in which we do activities that don't involve our daughter, but they sure aren't gone.

And it was actually fly22 that clued me into this. A few years before we had our kid, he told me, "You know, people complain about giving up all this stuff for their kids, but I just don't see it. Do I play fewer rounds of golf these days? Sure, but when I'm not playing golf, I'm playing with my daughter, and honestly that's what I'd rather do. It's not a sacrifice, it's a choice of how to spend your time."
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Oh I completely agree. My wife knows I have ice hockey 2 or 3 times a week as my stress relief. We try and make date night once a month a priority so we ship the kid to Grandma and Grandpa's as well. As my daughter gets older, she's starting to get more expensive, but it's completely worth it. We drop about $150 bucks a month on gymnastics once a week, but she absolutely adores it, and for as long as she wants to do it, we'll make it fit into the budget. It's not that priorities change so much, but that they get adjusted.
 
jtrain609 Good memory. I hope in 16 years you dont hold me accountable for anything your daughter does.:biggrin:

Funny because I went from fewer games of golf down to 0 games of golf. However Ive traded golf for fishing with my daughter. Even better!

2 kids in and I sitll love being a dad, every second of it.

The reward of watching my children succeed has far out weighed any career succes or material possesion I have accomplised.
 
I'm sort of conflicted on this question. On the one hand, I think we've got plenty of human beings running around already. On the other hand, they're mostly idiots. Should I gift posterity with my genes, or should I manfully do the right thing and fail to reproduce and thus spare humanity another squalling brat that will grow up to be a lawyer or something?

Wait, I've solved it. For every subhuman, knuckle-dragging moron I kill, I get to have one ubermench child! Off to sharpen my knives!
 
Got to this late - my wife and I were childless by choice until one day we realized that a desire to have kids has slowly emerged for both of us. We had issues with fertility and decided to give IVF one shot - if it worked we had kids, if it didn't, we wouldn't. It worked and we now have twin boys that will turn one this Saturday.

I'm very happy with our decision to have kids, but it in no ways changes the fact that I value the feelings of those who don't want them. In fact I think it's an honorable decision - it's not like our population numbers are at some critical mass. I will say that our take on our kids does seem to be unique compared to those who "couldn't live without children". Our children aren't an extension of who we are - they're individual people who I expect will have individual interests and preferences just as we do. But then again I'm still pretty early in this whole thing.

The only thing I would say is that if you do think you may want them in the future, it doesn't hurt to do some fertility testing ("jerk off in a dark room? I was going to do that anyways") Would hate to realize down the road that there were issues that grew worse with time.
 
Boris Badenov said:
I'm sort of conflicted on this question. On the one hand, I think we've got plenty of human beings running around already. On the other hand, they're mostly idiots. Should I gift posterity with my genes, or should I manfully do the right thing and fail to reproduce and thus spare humanity another squalling brat that will grow up to be a lawyer or something?

Wait, I've solved it. For every subhuman, knuckle-dragging moron I kill, I get to have one ubermench child! Off to sharpen my knives!
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You've seen Idiocracy?

My SO and I have literally had the "not the right time yet" conversation.
 
With the rise of student loan debt, the economic uncertainty, I'm sure the birth numbers will steadily decline if not already. I'm not an expert on the subject but just regurgitating what I read online. I'm 27 and have no desire to have kids. Paying back my student loan [2yr erau] is enough as it is. In fact having to sacrifice just to pay it off sooner (3 more years to go baby!!!) i'll be 30 when it's over. By that time I want to enjoy that financial freedom! And besides it's not like I have any women in line waiting to be with me... Guess chicks just don't dig conquest pilots.
 
I was dead set on not having children and have a dog or two instead. However, in recent years things changed and we're now planning on having a kiddo.
 
jtrain609 said:
Idiocracy is the reason we're going to have 8 kids. The world NEEDS our superior genetic material, and we feel obligated to have as many children as possible so as to combat the future foretold in Idiocracy.
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What if your kids get all of your recessive, supremely un-superior genes?
 
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