I live in Park City, UT. If I had wanted to, I could have gotten the qualifications to work at Skywest in short order.
I chose not to, because I had zero interest in working at a non union regional airline, to say nothing of working at a non union major one day. I went to the company with the highest pay rate, the best work rules, etc. etc.
I am now furloughed. I will not be applying to Skywest, even if they were hiring. I am studying to get OUT of this career, and would rather do that than go work at a place like Skywest, Lynx or Colgan. I'm working a non aviation job until that transition happens, and I'd rather do that than go to some regional that I have no interest in working at.
Now what could change that? Me and my wife having a kid would probably throw me back into the game in short order, or not getting into law/graduate school; but any of those options are probably 2 years off, and I could well be recalled at Express before that happens, so I've got some time.
Either way, I'm unwilling to sell myself short, and I am in fact the person you're trying to make fun of in your post.