Krystal
Dispatch Betty
You all know that there have been recent circumstances that have forced me to move back home with my mom and grown younger brother.
I had many concerns about moving home: dogs, cleanliness, smoking etc. But my biggest concern was my brother. My brother has the mental capacity of a 12 year old. Now before you laugh and say "dont all men?" I have to stress....he LITERALLY has the mental maturity of a 12 year old. In 1996, my family endured a devastating gas explosion in our home. My brother suffered 3rd degree burns over 70 percent of his body. He was 12 at the time.
Fast forward to present day. He looks like an adult, talks like an adult, and for the most part seems like an adult, but the trauma "stunted" his maturity in many ways. At 28 he has no control over his temper, whatsoever. He has zero impulse control, he is a compulsive liar, he has no regard for other peoples space or belongings, no respect for other people or authority, and he has developed a gambling problem. He lacks the maturity, dicipline or self control to hold down a job longer than a few weeks. \ IT didnt help that my family, myself included, allowed this to go on for a long time because, "we almost lost him once."
About a year and a half ago, I allowed him to stay in my apartment to look after my pets while I was gone for a week. I come home to find my bedroom drawers gone through and money stolen. At the time, he blamed my stepbrother.. I brought it up to my family, Only to be chewed out and threatened with disownment for even SUGGESTING that my brother would steal from his own family. 6 months ago, after spending $200 on him at a casino, I left him alone in my apartment only to coem back and find that he had stolen my house cash, my kids xmas money, cleaned out my kids piggy banks and emptied out my husbands change jar. Again, I brought it up, but was shot down again by my family.
Since moving into my mothers house, however, the thefts skyrocketed. Hiding things was useless, he would just ransack the place until he found it and it got to the point that I actually had to buy a locking cabinet to lock up my money, wallet , and valuables. Ive come home to find that someone had tried to jimmy THAT open. I have to keep my kids piggy banks locked u. Finally, though, a couple of months ago, after cash began disappearing from my mothers purse and medication, cash and jewelry were coming up missing from my dads house, my parents FINALLY admitted that they thought my brother was stealng to feed a gambling habit. FINALLY. A look back a the previous couple of years, we finally lined out a pattern of theft and lies and we realized that this was a VERY serious problem. Finally.
Recently, my poor mother ended up in the hospital having emergency bowel resection and she has been bedridden. We went to order ostomy supplies the other day only to discover that her bank account had been drained at the casino. She almost threw him out. The same day, I discovered that my great grandparents' wedding bands were missing, as well as one of my moving boxes (Im not fully unpacked yet) containing many items of value, including jewelry. Its one thing to steal from your sister...but to steal from your sick mother???
My family is at a loss as to what to do. He obviously has a problem but because he is unable to accept even a small amount of criticism so I could see an "intervention" going VERY badly.He lies to everyone: Myself, my parents, his friends, his doctors. He faked having CANCER to get friends and family to give him money. He will not accept blame for anything.... much like a spoiled 12 year old. My mother is ready to throw him out and my dad refuses to take him in. I think it would be a good wakeup call but he is completely incapable of caring for himself. Talking with my dad, we have even began discussing the possibility of pressing charges if it keeps happening. Jail is better than homelessness. That would be a VERY VERY difficult decision.
I know they say that family comes first, but what if family can no longer be trusted? We cant even trust him with $20 to go to the grocery store....he spends it on scratch tickets. This is a problem that is spiraling out of control. Im terrified of what could happen in the future. Have you ever had to deal with this in your close family? What do you do?
He gets away with what he does because you guys let him; therefore he can. Stop letting him, and problem solved. Stop making his problems, your problems.
I had many concerns about moving home: dogs, cleanliness, smoking etc. But my biggest concern was my brother. My brother has the mental capacity of a 12 year old. Now before you laugh and say "dont all men?" I have to stress....he LITERALLY has the mental maturity of a 12 year old. In 1996, my family endured a devastating gas explosion in our home. My brother suffered 3rd degree burns over 70 percent of his body. He was 12 at the time.
Fast forward to present day. He looks like an adult, talks like an adult, and for the most part seems like an adult, but the trauma "stunted" his maturity in many ways. At 28 he has no control over his temper, whatsoever. He has zero impulse control, he is a compulsive liar, he has no regard for other peoples space or belongings, no respect for other people or authority, and he has developed a gambling problem. He lacks the maturity, dicipline or self control to hold down a job longer than a few weeks. \ IT didnt help that my family, myself included, allowed this to go on for a long time because, "we almost lost him once."
About a year and a half ago, I allowed him to stay in my apartment to look after my pets while I was gone for a week. I come home to find my bedroom drawers gone through and money stolen. At the time, he blamed my stepbrother.. I brought it up to my family, Only to be chewed out and threatened with disownment for even SUGGESTING that my brother would steal from his own family. 6 months ago, after spending $200 on him at a casino, I left him alone in my apartment only to coem back and find that he had stolen my house cash, my kids xmas money, cleaned out my kids piggy banks and emptied out my husbands change jar. Again, I brought it up, but was shot down again by my family.
Since moving into my mothers house, however, the thefts skyrocketed. Hiding things was useless, he would just ransack the place until he found it and it got to the point that I actually had to buy a locking cabinet to lock up my money, wallet , and valuables. Ive come home to find that someone had tried to jimmy THAT open. I have to keep my kids piggy banks locked u. Finally, though, a couple of months ago, after cash began disappearing from my mothers purse and medication, cash and jewelry were coming up missing from my dads house, my parents FINALLY admitted that they thought my brother was stealng to feed a gambling habit. FINALLY. A look back a the previous couple of years, we finally lined out a pattern of theft and lies and we realized that this was a VERY serious problem. Finally.
Recently, my poor mother ended up in the hospital having emergency bowel resection and she has been bedridden. We went to order ostomy supplies the other day only to discover that her bank account had been drained at the casino. She almost threw him out. The same day, I discovered that my great grandparents' wedding bands were missing, as well as one of my moving boxes (Im not fully unpacked yet) containing many items of value, including jewelry. Its one thing to steal from your sister...but to steal from your sick mother???
My family is at a loss as to what to do. He obviously has a problem but because he is unable to accept even a small amount of criticism so I could see an "intervention" going VERY badly.He lies to everyone: Myself, my parents, his friends, his doctors. He faked having CANCER to get friends and family to give him money. He will not accept blame for anything.... much like a spoiled 12 year old. My mother is ready to throw him out and my dad refuses to take him in. I think it would be a good wakeup call but he is completely incapable of caring for himself. Talking with my dad, we have even began discussing the possibility of pressing charges if it keeps happening. Jail is better than homelessness. That would be a VERY VERY difficult decision.
I know they say that family comes first, but what if family can no longer be trusted? We cant even trust him with $20 to go to the grocery store....he spends it on scratch tickets. This is a problem that is spiraling out of control. Im terrified of what could happen in the future. Have you ever had to deal with this in your close family? What do you do?
He gets away with what he does because you guys let him; therefore he can. Stop letting him, and problem solved. Stop making his problems, your problems.
