What stupid stuff have you done?

[dark_reaper]

The other day when I was chillin at my local airport with some friends, out of boredom, we built rockets out of pvc pipes and jamed rocket propellant into em and launched them out into the field using a car battery charger. I have to say it have some kick.

 

[Sarah]

I am a fueling sup for SWA at MDW contracted through Swissport. I don't fuel planes everyday, so I don't always know where the fuel pit is in reference to the hydrant cart. I pulled the moose head off and stepped directly back into a 5 ft pit in the ground. I disconnected the grounding wire on my fall and had to pull a fueling truck to get the flight done. I then went to the clinic to get embarrassed by explaining how I got hurt. 3 months later my leg still hurts where I landed!

 

[Joe]

I haven't bent an airplane yet, but...

During my first snowstorm almost two years ago, one of the maintenance guys showed me how to drive the big Sicard snowblower and after a few hours decided I was competent enough to go solo. At some point it broke down; the carrier engine was still working but the auger engine died I think (unless I just sheared the drive shaft pins, which I always used to do). I took it back to the ramp, refueled it, got back in, and instead of engaging the clutch for the auger at idle, I brought it up to full power and fried the clutch... that was a couple thousand dollars and a crappy way to end a 16 hour day of de-ice training and plowing. I shot this video about an hour prior:
[YT]pbL3Jxj4iqg[/YT]

Back in March, I was dragging the "F.O.D. mat" behind a truck to pick up shells which seagulls had dropped on a taxiway. While doing so, I saw a seagull drop one, so I reached for the flare gun and shot a pyro at it. The pyro managed to end up in the grass before it had burned out completely, and the combination of dry grass and a strong wind created a decent-sized wildfire that I couldn't stomp out. Luckily, OQU Crash Fire Rescue saved the day:

In June, I managed to do some damage to the line truck while again attempting to mitigate the bird-strike hazard by driving a Ford F-250 through a flock of seagulls resting in the Runway 16 touchdown zone at 80 MPH. I hate killing animals, but a Cessna Citation Excel and 172 almost nailed them earlier, and the Hudson River is a much longer glide from OQU than LGA. I hit two, but had to finish one off with the shotgun, fling them into the woods with a shovel, hose down the truck, and figure out how to explain this one to my boss...

 

[wjmiller3]

So I was flying our SR22 last winter on a short hop (30 min) from EFD-DWH, at night, rain, 500ovc. It was pretty cool outside so I had my fleece pullover on so when I got in the plane I didn't turn on the heat or the A/C(mistake as we will see later). I takeoff and about 600ft hit the ovc layer, being that it was night and IMC I turned off all the lights because the were flashing back at me in the rain and clouds. So I get vectored to the WAAS 35L approach into hooks uneventful, thinking it was pretty cool to be out this night cause even though it was IMC it was smooth as glass and nobody was on with approach but me, and had the XM playing enjoying life. So I am sitting back on AP coming down on the approach when I start seeing very dim and fuzzy lights at about 500ft thinking I am breaking out, but they stay VERY dim and fuzzy, I reach over to turn back on all the lights and everything is TOTALLY fogged over on the inside because I had no air on. So I go into "oh crap" mode and start turing on the air, heat, defrost, anything I can turn on to get the fog off the windows. Within a few seconds the little spot at the bottom of the windscreen started clearing an getting bigger, by the time I was on short final about half the windscreen was clear. But had to open the doors to see where to turn on to the taxiway.

So needless to say, I NEVER fly at night in our planes anymore without turning on either the heat or the A/C to keep from fogging up the windows!

 

[StrykerINF]

I enlisted into the army entrusting my life to the federal government and then I took up aviation.. kind of got a double wammy on that one

 

[gulfstreampiper]

Had a kid drive a Kubota lawnmower under the wing of a Turbo Commander, completely forgot the lawnmower had a roll bar that stood up an extra 3 feet above his head! Smashed entire flap and aileron assembly. Cost over $12,000 after it was all said and done.

Seen some guys try to tow planes while they were still tied down.

One guy towed a skyhawk all the way back to the hangar with the parking brake on. Completely fried the brakes.

While plowing snow, some guys have busted some taxiway/runway lights. Also mangled the bottom of some hangar doors trying to clear the snow right up against the doors.

 

[ProudPilot]

Well, after about 30 hours past getting my wet Private License I took my dad up flying. Went to plum island (2B2) and it's a 2100' strip. Well, it was early in the day at that point. The sun had been up for about 3 hours and it had warmed about 15 deg. My TOLD was at 1900' for the takeoff to clear a 50' obstacle. Well, on the west side of the field there are 70' trees. I intended to do a touch and go, but once we touched, we didn't have enough room for the go. So we taxied back and took off. The trees brushed the underside of the warrior.

So what had I forgotten? Sea breeze. See kids, in the daytime you get winds off the ocean. Plum island is about 3 miles inland and has a beach on the east side. So while Bedford (KBED) was taking off to the west, I should have taken off to the east, with wind, over the beach and avoiding the trees.

I still tell that story to my students. I still had plenty in my luck bag and not enough in my experience bag.

 

[Alinator]

*Edited for brevity*

Wow! What a story, you are extremely lucky/blessed/karmaically inclined.

Great learning experience though, the biggest lessons I've ever learned (aviation and otherwise) have been from my biggest mistakes.

Here's to not becoming a statistic and passing the lesson on to your students! :beer:

 

[Alinator]

One time a midget came up to the counter and started talking to me. He was so tiny I couldn't see him over the counter, so I started looking all around, pulled out my phone, checked if I inadvertently answered the phone on speaker, then finally stepped away from the counter. The midget at this point was offended. I apologized and he asked for the exit row. It was full, but why the hell would he need the legroom? Can he even lift a door that weighs half as much as him? When I pulled his ticket he told me to buy glasses. I REALLY had to stop myself from punting him out to his plane.

Ramp involved? No. But those of us above wing do stupid things too.

*Edit* The midget A-Team is NOT happy about this. Expect a visit while you sleep. Expect not to wake up. You will be recompensed...

 

[JordanD]

Expect not to wake up.

Correction: Expect to wake up violated and without dignity.

 

[ChasenSFO]

*Edit* The midget A-Team is NOT happy about this. Expect a visit while you sleep. Expect not to wake up. You will be recompensed...

My bed is a few feet above the ground, I'll be sure not to leave a ladder lying around.

 

[Crism]

Alright I've got a few good ones. Mind you I was 16-17 while this happened, and I was a bit of a touchy-feely kid who LOVED going to play with the throttles in the airplanes because it felt cool.

1. The first place I worked at (before it went out of business) did some aircraft detailing...and I was the one who did it. Was buffing the empennage of an older 172 one day, was trying to go around the ELT antenna, ended up snagging it with the buffer. I shut my eyes when I caught it as I let go of the buffer, but the antenna (metal) ended up snapping off. Ok not so bad...easy fix right? I went and got the boss and came out and the first thing he asked was why there was a HUGE crack in the rear window (that I totally didn't see before). I don't know how much it cost to repair, but I don't think the owner was very happy. Antenna was "upgraded" to a non-metal one, and the rear window was replaced.

2. Throttle jocky me pulled the reversers on an MD88 (I wonder what operator this was...) one night after we had finished unloading and cleaning it. Little did I know there was still hydraulic pressure in the lines, and we had buckets deployed. Scared the holy Jesus out of me when I went outside the airplane and saw it though. Airplane left the next morning without issue from what I hear. Got yelled at for that one...

3. Wasn't me, but I was brakeriding the MD88 (long after my bucket deploying incident) and the tug driver had just disconnected, and I had the airplane shutdown (APU+batt off). Our usual procedure would be to have the tug driver drive by the 1L door, brakerider would jump out on top of the tug, and close the door. On this night I hopped on the top and closed the door and got down from the top of the tug. Somewhere in between then the tug driver took his foot off the brake and the tug rolled into the airplane creating a very nicely sized gash that broke the skin. Airplane was down for 3 days and as I heard it, big D had to find 2 pilots with the balls to fly it to BOS for MX who didn't think the skin would shear off inflight. I wonder if Doug heard anything about this. Ship 978...I distinctly remember that. Oh and because the guy who was driving the tug was a supervisor, he didn't get canned becasue they were running short on supervisors....

 

[Roger, Roger]

1. The first place I worked at (before it went out of business) did some aircraft detailing...and I was the one who did it. Was buffing the empennage of an older 172 one day, was trying to go around the ELT antenna, ended up snagging it with the buffer. I shut my eyes when I caught it as I let go of the buffer, but the antenna (metal) ended up snapping off. Ok not so bad...easy fix right? I went and got the boss and came out and the first thing he asked was why there was a HUGE crack in the rear window (that I totally didn't see before). I don't know how much it cost to repair, but I don't think the owner was very happy. Antenna was "upgraded" to a non-metal one, and the rear window was replaced.

Man, those windows are a pain in the ASS to replace too.

I love when we get the flight school airplanes in for inspection and there are bent elevators because our dumbass line guys crank the ramp on the 'Lektro tug up too high and drag the tail. Of course they don't tell us about it, and the CFIs here never squawk ANYTHING so we get all kinds of surprises when the planes come in...

Some days I want to issue a collective beatdown to my entire company.

 

[skidz]

Tell everyone your stories, if you got some like these I've heard about over the years....

Ever seen a hangar door resting on a spinner? (Think Concorde look-alike.)

How about punching a hole in a new windshield of a JetRanger with a wingtip? (Need more ventilation?)

Reeling in a fuel hose still connected to a Citation X? (BOING!)

Hot fueling an R-22? (Buzz cut!)

De-icing a regional pilot who walked into the "line of fire"? (Got dry socks?)

What you got?

I've pulled the tie-down chains while driving a tractor. Some joker decided to run the chain through several support equipment vehicles, I didn't realize all of them were tied down on a same chain. Good thing is I didn't pull all the vehicles with me

 

[JordanD]

Man, those windows are a pain in the ASS to replace too.

I love when we get the flight school airplanes in for inspection and there are bent elevators because our dumbass line guys crank the ramp on the 'Lektro tug up too high and drag the tail. Of course they don't tell us about it, and the CFIs here never squawk ANYTHING so we get all kinds of surprises when the planes come in...

Some days I want to issue a collective beatdown to my entire company.

Ugh, I HATED towing 172's because of the crap tail clearance. Even with the Lektro as low as practical I still thought I was gonna scrap the elevator every time I hit a pebble on the ramp.

 

[SpiceWeasel]

2. Throttle jocky me pulled the reversers on an MD88 (I wonder what operator this was...) one night after we had finished unloading and cleaning it. Little did I know there was still hydraulic pressure in the lines, and we had buckets deployed. Scared the holy Jesus out of me when I went outside the airplane and saw it though. Airplane left the next morning without issue from what I hear. Got yelled at for that one...

Ohhhh so *you're* the one.... whenever I get in my seat for first flight of the day after an overnight, the seat height and rudder pedal position has changed, and various buttons are not as we left them. Hope you guys have fun playing airline pilot!

Well, after about 30 hours past getting my wet Private License I took my dad up flying. Went to plum island (2B2) and it's a 2100' strip. Well, it was early in the day at that point. The sun had been up for about 3 hours and it had warmed about 15 deg. My TOLD was at 1900' for the takeoff to clear a 50' obstacle. Well, on the west side of the field there are 70' trees. I intended to do a touch and go, but once we touched, we didn't have enough room for the go. So we taxied back and took off. The trees brushed the underside of the warrior.

So what had I forgotten? Sea breeze. See kids, in the daytime you get winds off the ocean. Plum island is about 3 miles inland and has a beach on the east side. So while Bedford (KBED) was taking off to the west, I should have taken off to the east, with wind, over the beach and avoiding the trees.

I still tell that story to my students. I still had plenty in my luck bag and not enough in my experience bag.

ProudPilot - this is an excellent story. Thank you for sharing this one, and we're glad you're on here telling us about it rather than MikeD presenting his NTSB breakdown.

 

[n57flyguy]

My worst to date has to be when I was fueling a Bell 430. On the left side is the big tank. The fueling port has a lip on it going inside that makes a small 90 degree angle. Well, having fueled a few 430s in the past I was confident that I would be ok this time. As luck would have it I caught the lip when I turned my head to see the meter and had about 3 gallons of Jet-A in my face and whole body. The best part was the pilots saw the whole thing and one comes up to me and says "Whats that, 10 gallons? I'm not paying for that."

 

[JordanD]

My worst to date has to be when I was fueling a Bell 430. On the left side is the big tank. The fueling port has a lip on it going inside that makes a small 90 degree angle. Well, having fueled a few 430s in the past I was confident that I would be ok this time. As luck would have it I caught the lip when I turned my head to see the meter and had about 3 gallons of Jet-A in my face and whole body. The best part was the pilots saw the whole thing and one comes up to me and says "Whats that, 10 gallons? I'm not paying for that."

Ugh, the older Jetrangers had something that sounds similar. You had to pump ridiculously slow or it spilled everywhere. As opposed to the other (almost identical) Jetranger on the field where you could just point the nozzle in and hold the trigger down.

 

[n57flyguy]

Ugh, the older Jetrangers had something that sounds similar. You had to pump ridiculously slow or it spilled everywhere. As opposed to the other (almost identical) Jetranger on the field where you could just point the nozzle in and hold the trigger down.

Yeah, really. All those 90 degree fuel lines for no reason at all. What I hate is when an EC-135 shows up and tells me top off, should take about 110-115. Aight, well should take 20-30

 

[bundee80]

Ugh, the older Jetrangers had something that sounds similar. You had to pump ridiculously slow or it spilled everywhere. As opposed to the other (almost identical) Jetranger on the field where you could just point the nozzle in and hold the trigger down.

I learned that the hard way when I first started. It was a JetRanger that gave me my first JetA bath. I freaked out and almost started running; luckily a co-worker was there to reassure me I wasn't on fire. :laff: What I still can't seem to get right are the MD 520 NoTars. Fill the top tank and 19 in the aux? I still spill EVERY time. Doh!


In keeping with the original theme of the thread. Someone from work just got the axe for backing up a client's Merc into the stinger of an A-Star. Evidently, he was paying attention to my boss and me looking at the static wick I accidentally broke off a GIII opening the hangar door. Glad his mishap served as interference to mine. It cost $2400 to replace a trunk lid??? I guess it WAS fiberglass. Supposedly, I heard those static wicks are four times as much...