Suicide

[Boris Badenov]

If anything really belongs to you, it's your life. I'll go down kicking and screaming, but I don't hold anything against those who decide to check out at their own speed. It's just a ride.

Some people raise their hands and yell and scream and get excited. Some people just want to get off. Both are ok, because it's just a ride.

 

[ljg]

If anything really belongs to you, it's your life. I'll go down kicking and screaming, but I don't hold anything against those who decide to check out at their own speed. It's just a ride.

Some people raise their hands and yell and scream and get excited. Some people just want to get off. Both are ok, because it's just a ride.

I don't think a man is entitled to be this selfish when he has two little children who depend on him.

 

[rd757]

I don't think a man is entitled to be this selfish when he has two little children who depend on him.

I agree with both of you. While Boris is correct that it is your right to "get off the ride" whenever you so wish to, I think you relinquish that right when you've created little ones who depend on you and need you as their father, as you said.

 

[pullup]

Damn, all you that have had to deal with suicides i feel for you. Luckily my family/friends haven't give down that road yet.

As I sit here laying next to my sleeping son, who just turned 5 today, I don't think I could ever abandon my kids. No matter how bad money/job/love life is there will always be hope for me. It must be horrible to feel like these people have where there is just no hope left.


Darren, OCD, GX, hopefully you all find some peace as time goes by.

 

[Boris Badenov]

I certainly didn't mean to sound callous. And I agree that I can't imagine checking out with kids looking to me, but that's me. I think I'll just say that I'm really sorry for everyone involved, including the deceased.

 

[Bob Ridpath]

I doubt, at the birth of a child or other joyous milestone in life, that anyone thinks about swallowing a gun or an overdose of pills. That seed germinates with recognition and the first stumbling steps toward "help" - anti-depressants and time spent with caring people and support. It grows and finally bears fruit not because love grows less but because the burdens grow ever larger until one day - with all the help in the world available - they just become too much for some people to bear. Hopelessness can smother every other good, decent thing in a person's life. There is an eternity between someone who "contemplates" the act as they are in that downward emotional spiral and someone who has made the choice to follow-through. I would suggest that lack of hope - honest-to-goodness, black despair - is a more powerful motivator than almost any other human emotion.

 

[GX]

Thanks for all of the posts. Boris Badenov I agree with your post about it being a ride, however I agree ljg, as well. Once one ups the ante by playing life to win (financially, family, children) one owes more to "the house". I don't think what you posted is callous at all, and as a fan of dark humor, can appreciate it.

Thanks for all of the support.

 

[Krystal]

I lost a cousin to suicide. Im so very sorry for your loss.

 

[ComplexHiAv8r]

Sorry for your loss. Depression is an evil disease.

 

[Pilotforhire587]

Sorry for the loss man! I know a few people who have done the deed too and with out getting into details it is the most selfish act a human can take.

 

[imachickadee75]

I rarely stop by here but I'm glad I saw this. I'm so sorry to hear that so many of you have had suicide touch your lives...although as a responder on the National Veterans Crisis Line, I am not surprised. Suicide is certainly a "selfish" and permanent solution to a temporary problem. Those of you who were close to those who committed suicide should know that you are at greater risk for attempting suicide in the future than someone without that experience. Please take good care of you and yours and DON'T be afraid to reach out for help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline number (800-273-TALK/8255) is available Nation-wide 24/7. If you are a Veteran/Reservist/Active Duty Member or someone who is concerned about one you will be prompted to press "1" and will be routed to the center where I work.

 

[dbrault17]

it is the most selfish act a human can take.

How so? I always hated this argument.

How selfish is it to go about your day and not reaching out to someone whos suffering so much that they see death as the only escape?

Getting down and blue here and there is part of life. Living with cronic depression without any help is downright miserable. That help is sometimes out of reach of its victim.

 

[Bandit_Driver]

I am sorry Gx. I've had experience with colleagues and/or acquaintances committing suicide. In my experience those left behind are are always left with unanswered questions and picking up the pieces. My heart goes out to the the family left behind especially the children.

 

[Propilot]

I will never understand why people insist on calling it a selfish act. When someone gets to the point where they kill themselves....kill..... kill themselves, how can anyone dare to call them selfish. Why? Because you have pain? What do you think they were feeling when they went through with it?

People who commit suicide are victims. They are not being selfish.

 

[MQAAord]

I think the people who say suicide is a selfish act are seeing it through the eyes of the friends and family of the person who committed suicide, not seeing it through the eyes of the person him/herself.

To the persons who kill themselves, there is no other option. They're doing the world and everyone in it a favor by removing themselves from it. They have a skewed view of the world, they do NOT see the world as a "mentally healthy" person does, they are looking at the world through "depression goggles", and those goggles give a very warped view of the world to those who wear them.

Sadly, the only person who can take off those goggles are the wearer themselves.... no one else can do it for them. Recovery from the depths of such depression is possible, but only if the person takes the steps to do it. Sometimes the view through the goggles becomes too much and the person isn't able to take them off, and they make the very final decision to end their life. Depression kills people in this manner, the same as cancer and heart disease kill people.

Yes, the friends and family are the ones left behind to deal with the aftermath of the suicide. And that is horrible and traumatic. But know that the person who killed themselves didn't do it with the intention of causing you pain. They did it because they could no longer deal with their own pain, and that is an awful, awful place to be.

 

[SeatClutcher]

I think the people who say suicide is a selfish act are seeing it through the eyes of the friends and family of the person who committed suicide, not seeing it through the eyes of the person him/herself.

To the persons who kill themselves, there is no other option. They're doing the world and everyone in it a favor by removing themselves from it. They have a skewed view of the world, they do NOT see the world as a "mentally healthy" person does, they are looking at the world through "depression goggles", and those goggles give a very warped view of the world to those who wear them.

Sadly, the only person who can take off those goggles are the wearer themselves.... no one else can do it for them. Recovery from the depths of such depression is possible, but only if the person takes the steps to do it. Sometimes the view through the goggles becomes too much and the person isn't able to take them off, and they make the very final decision to end their life. Depression kills people in this manner, the same as cancer and heart disease kill people.

Yes, the friends and family are the ones left behind to deal with the aftermath of the suicide. And that is horrible and traumatic. But know that the person who killed themselves didn't do it with the intention of causing you pain. They did it because they could no longer deal with their own pain, and that is an awful, awful place to be.

I think the people who call it selfish and get angry about it have ego issues. It becomes about them and how they were made to feel as a result of the suicide. Which is natural, I guess, because most people feel angry (at life, at God, at whatever) when someone they care about dies, but "You're a jerk for killing yourself" is the same as saying, "Your misery is less important than mine. I was happier with you here, even if you hated your life, and now look what you've done to ME."

 

[MikeD]

I think the people who call it selfish and get angry about it have ego issues. It becomes about them and how they were made to feel as a result of the suicide. Which is natural, I guess, because most people feel angry (at life, at God, at whatever) when someone they care about dies, but "You're a jerk for killing yourself" is the same as saying, "Your misery is less important than mine. I was happier with you here, even if you hated your life, and now look what you've done to ME."

The bottom line is that it's their life to do what they want with. And for whatever reason they're unhappy. So they make a choice, and obviously it's a pretty severe choice; and in a certain way, you have to give the person the respect of going out on their own terms, rather than living their life for everyone else.

 

[ljg]

I think the people who call it selfish and get angry about it have ego issues. It becomes about them and how they were made to feel as a result of the suicide. Which is natural, I guess, because most people feel angry (at life, at God, at whatever) when someone they care about dies, but "You're a jerk for killing yourself" is the same as saying, "Your misery is less important than mine. I was happier with you here, even if you hated your life, and now look what you've done to ME."

I don't want to negate the horrible pain that someone would be going through to consider this option. But a dad with young kids? Yes, his misery is less important than theirs. I would stay up for a week straight with my worst enemy to talk him off a ledge.

 

[MikeD]

I would stay up for a week straight with my worst enemy to talk him off a ledge.

This is what annoys me as a Fire/EMS provider who has responded to suicidal people who are "on the ledge". I appreciate the fact that they have something going on in their life, etc; but if they don't come down fairly quickly after being reasoned with, then to me, they're selfishly wasting the time and resources of police/fire/EMS who could be responding to other 911 calls, but are instead tied-up for hours upon hours, trying to reason with someone who won't listen to reason, and oftentimes just wants some attention to their plight. Well, once that attention is given, then react to it and utilize it; otherwise you're now just wasting everyone's time and resources.

 

[SeatClutcher]

I don't want to negate the horrible pain that someone would be going through to consider this option. But a dad with young kids? Yes, his misery is less important than theirs. I would stay up for a week straight with my worst enemy to talk him off a ledge.

Yeah, I left kids out in my post. I was targeting adults/friends. Kids are a different issue. It gets messy there. As Amber said, the parent probably feels like they're doing the kid/s a favor. The only part of suicide that probably does make me mad is the people who kill themselves at home where family (kids included) will find them. I think they should be more like dogs who wander off somewhere to die (but maybe send a letter of explanation).