Quagmire....need advice

atpwannabe

Well-Known Member
Hello all:

I'll start by giving you some background.

My ex-wife and I were on target to get remarried this past August. Didn't happen. I start flight training this January and her position with a local school district was eliminated due to budget cuts. She's looking for employment outside of the immediate area where she lives.

About a two weeks or so ago, I told her that I still had the engagement ring that I bought for her back in April. Her response was that, "She felt pressured and she was enjoying our friendship like it was when we first met". I said ok, now I know where we stand. She was dating someone else and from what she told me, he dumped her when she wasn't able to find employment. She said that she met him on the internet. I have still helped her financially since she is not working b/c we have a 4 yr old together. Now, it seems that she's wants to come down to visit more often, bringing my son, since she just got a help from me & my parents to eliminate about $2000 worth of debt. Not quite sure where my ex is going with this....if anywhere.

Enter Yahoo Personals (YP) for me. I posted a profile. I got some responses. This one in particular, I have been only knowing her for about 2 weeks and she says that she loves me; that she has fallen for me. I'll admit, we consumated the relationship early. She's an RN, does quite well, and wants to buy me a Christmas present, she bought me a birthday gift (12/09), and wants to take me on cruise for the New Year.

Man, you talk about things moving at the speed of light. Right now, I'm starting to feel constricted/smothered. She's always talking about how much she has to offer and how she wants to spoil me. I've told her on several occasions that that was not necessary.

Ladies, guys.....you too, I need some genuine feedback on how to handle this situation. Mind you now, I did tell her that me and my ex-wife where thinking about getting back together and I did mention to her what my ex said concerning the fact that she is enjoying our friendship. Was I wrong for that?

I'm really trying to figure out what made her move so fast. She's a really nice person but I'm just bafflled about how to handle this situation. :banghead:

Please help!!!!




atp
 

Minuteman

“Dongola”
This situation needs a third woman; nothing makes allies faster than a common enemy.

What could possibly go wrong with your ex-wife and girlfriend conspiring? :crazy:
 

doog

Well-Known Member
Enter Yahoo Personals (YP) for me. I posted a profile. I got some responses. This one in particular, I have been only knowing her for about 2 weeks and she says that she loves me; that she has fallen for me. I'll admit, we consumated the relationship early. She's an RN, does quite well, and wants to buy me a Christmas present, she bought me a birthday gift (12/09), and wants to take me on cruise for the New Year.
Red flag alert! Anyone who says they love you after two weeks is a smothering fatal attraction psycho. Get out of that one asap.
 

Derg

New Arizona, Il Duce/Warlord
Staff member
This situation needs a third woman; nothing makes allies faster than a common enemy.

What could possibly go wrong with your ex-wife and girlfriend conspiring? :crazy:
Alright... Easy there, Dwight! *
































*From "The Office"
 

JEP

Malko In Charge
Staff member
two lines into this I am thinking:

[YT]edtQDCxmAiI[/YT]

Good luck whatever you choose. Do what is best for everyone, child included....
 

atpwannabe

Well-Known Member
Red flag alert! Anyone who says they love you after two weeks is a smothering fatal attraction psycho. Get out of that one asap.
Yeah, I think this is what I would like to happen but not quite sure how to go about doing that. This is someone who tells me, "I don't want to be hurt any more".

Not really sure how it's gonna happen, but I trust that things will work together for the good. My heart is clean and my conscience is clear. There is nothing up my sleeve other than my arm.



JEP: The youtube video made me smile and think about my ex. Thanks for your sincere suggestion.:)


atp
 

Velocipede

New Member
Meeting on the internet...OK
Employed girlfriend...Good
Ex-Wife who wants to remarry you...Bad
Ex-Wife dating other guys and sort of wants to remarry you...Bad
Girlfriend who falls head over heels in two weeks...Bad

Looks like the scales are tipped to...

BAD!
 

doog

Well-Known Member
Yeah, I think this is what I would like to happen but not quite sure how to go about doing that. This is someone who tells me, "I don't want to be hurt any more".
Oh god, guilt tripping after two weeks. Allow me to translate: "I've got my claws in you now sucker, and I'm really, really insecure." Run, don't walk away from this one.
 

Derg

New Arizona, Il Duce/Warlord
Staff member
I've read parts of the book, but not the whole thing. He's got some very good points, but I never really got to the part, if there is one, where he sternly admonishes the man for his taste in women.
 

Derg

New Arizona, Il Duce/Warlord
Staff member
"Tag"? Do, I never knew you were the consummate romantic!
 

Derg

New Arizona, Il Duce/Warlord
Staff member
"Tag"? Do, I never knew you were the consummate romantic!
 

Derg

New Arizona, Il Duce/Warlord
Staff member
The preferred nomenclature is umm, you know, crap... perhaps "tag" is apropos.
 

Old Pete

Cockpit Authoritarian
It sounds to me as if your ex-wife is jerking you around. When you say that you were on target to get remarried and it didn't happen, I am assuming that the reason it didn't happen was because of her decision not yours. And when you got divorced she left you, not the other way around?

How long are you going to hold on to that engagement ring you bought in April after she wouldn't remarry you in August? And now after she loses her job she wants to get back together. Time to sell the ring and move on to other relationships.

You feel "constricted, smothered" because you still have hopes that you will get back together with the ex., not because the new girlfriend is moving too fast. Get "closure" on the old relationship and the new one will work out.
 
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