Getting furloughed every three years prevents you from ever moving to the lifer column.
I get a little nervous when i realize that I have been at my current job 4 months longer than I have EVER worked anywhere else in my life...
<gulp>
PS - My spouse turned 40 this year. Looking at your 40 year old wife and remember what she looked like in her mid-twenties makes you feel old too. <ducking>
Dude,
I think the J-Ball scrambled your melon...
<scene from COPS - fade in>
Caption: Officer Billy Bob Smith
Officer Smith commentates: Well, ya'll see, heah in Arkensaw - not Are Kan Zass ya' yankees - we have us alot of them there Doe-Mestic Deesputes.
<radio crackels> 10-31 from the fancy trailerpark there on County Road 1200. In the blue double wide</radio.
Officer Smith: Well, ya'll, that's the code for a trailer park domestic. Here, we go....you're gunna see the end of sum drunk ass-whoopin'
<car pulls up in front of trailer, Officer Smith hops out, Cartoonish Character, middle aged, is sittin' on the steps bleedin'>
Officer Smith: Wut happened heah?
Victim: Well, it's like this. I was typin' on that there innerweb, and I made some crack 'bout the ol' lady lookin', well, old. Next thing I know, I'm laid out like a homecoming queen after the game. I reckon she hit me with a skillet.
Officer Smith: You did wut?
<screen door bangs open, out comes pissed off female type holding a 2 year old>
Female Subject: G**D*** right I did. Who the hell does he think he is? I look old to you? Huh? Do I? You best think about it before you answer, son!!
Officer Smith: Son, you need you an Amblance?
Victim <eyes are actually starting to focus>: Well, I think I got a concussion, I was cold, but I don't want do deal with my Medical...I think I'm good.
Officer Smith: Uh..OK scooter....you need me to taker to the pokey?
Victim: Hell no....you think its bad now....
Officer Smith strolls back to cruiser, passes the wisdom: Well, I reckon he learned his lesson. You see all kinda fools out here. Wut dude would call his ol' lady, old? Ya know? Seriously...
<fade to commercial>