Dreams.....Future.....Regret
It seems you can not have one, without the other two.
I have not posted on these boards in a looong time, simply because I never feel that I have anything to add (as I am not flying). However, I have exchanged some PM's with a few folks and I owe lunch to one just south of me (which should come in the next month or so). This may be a long response, although I will try to keep it as condenced as possible.
I am 32 years old and all through my childhood and teenage years, I had exactly two things on my mind, at all times; gaining entrance to the USAF Academy (to become an F-16 pilot) and becoming a professional soccer player. The order changed daily and some days one was more important than the other. During this time, I also spent all of my free time either fishing or hunting and I began to entertain the thought of working in those industries. Well, my Senior year of High School came and despite having 99 out of 100 things going for me, that one thing kept me from obtaining an Academy appointment. I was devestated! However, I knew all was not lost as there was always AFROTC which I did participate in (up until it was time to make the commitment). In the meantime, my dedication to doing all I could to become a military pilot was dwindling. Not because the odds were now lower (at that time most all pilot/navigator qualified cantidates from my detatchment obtained slots) or because I did not have things going my way (a close friend, a Commander in the Navy was willing to do all he could for me on the Navy side). My focus was changing.
My soccer play was starting to become noticed on many different levels, by many different people. At the time I was spending my summers as a fishing guide in Northwestern Ontario while playing and training the remainder of the year. While killing time one day in Ontario, I saw an individual working on ball drills in front of a group of a half dozen people. A loose ball came my way and just being a goof, I show boated and booted the ball back. I was then asked to come over to them and then asked to scrimage and do some one on one with the other guy. Turns out he was a Canadian National Team member working out for the European team Ajax. Long story short, I ended up playing for Ajax at two different levels for a couple of years. When I made it back to the states, I kept playing with a few close friends (one of whom worked for the Kansas City Wizards). Before I knew it, I was invited to train with the Kansas City Wizards MLS team and I was invited to train with and play with the Chicago Fire in the off season. While training with the Fire, I hyper-extended and dislocated my knee.....career over!
Then I start working in the outdoors industry. I end up meeting a cute girl that can shoot the lights out with a bow and a pistol. We kind of hit it off and almost 8 years later we are engaged. We move to Arizona so she can pursue a new career and I end up in the last place that I EVER thought I would live. I am currently going back to school for a Web Design/Development degree with the intention of becoming self-employed. However, I will also be testing for an LE position with Arizona Game and Fish.
All through those years, late high school and post high-school, I was in serious relationships; a 3 year, a 3 1/2 year and now an 8 year. I chose to pursue those things that I felt I would never have a shot at again, despite the relationships. Do I regret losing any of those past girlfriends? No. I regret everyday not sticking with AFROTC and trying for a pilot slot. Would I have been fortunate enough to land a UPT slot? Who knows. My soccer injury, I was given a choice; operation and rehab or no. I was told that they could operate on my knee and we could rehab it and I MAY play again. Or they could let it recover on its own and I would NEVER play at that level again. I opted to forego the surgery. I live a normal life, I work out, run, mountain bike, hunt hard, etc. but the knee is still weak. Do I regret not having the surgery and attempting to rehab the knee, to keep playing? Yes.
So here I am in Arizona, which I am not very fond of. Do I regret moving here? No. Why? The relocation gave us a new start on life so to speak and it is where we became engaged. Will we relocate in the future? Perhaps, but not if I get the LE job. I guess the point that I am trying to make (by being very long winded) is that YOU need to do what YOU feel YOU need to, to make YOU happy. I (as do many of us) understand just how difficult a situation you are in and what she may mean to you. The fact of the matter is, no matter which way you ultimately decide to go, you will have regrets. The question becomes what regrets can you live with and which ones will haunt you? I have two that haunt me just about every day, but in the end, I feel that I ended up where I am supposed to be, somehow! You never know what doors may open in the future and by giving something up now, you may unknowingly be opening a new door that you don't know about yet.
Good luck with your decision and all the best!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyzglQ6CSUM
Lyrics may help you, but then again, probably not!
On a side note: when I did chase a dream, I wished I had the/a girl! Now I've got the girl and we are chasing OUR dreams!
