Douchey Pilot Things. A list

[form810]

As long as we're, er, critiquing technique here...

What do you folk think of the following pre-takeoff briefing at a generic, bread and butter airport (no weird stuff): "We'll be a static departure off of runway 36. We'll climb to 4000 on runway heading and expect vectors to SHLEP. Standard calls and aborts. ..."

If you have company standard calls and aborts and you're all trained on them, is such a briefing ok?

 

[BobDDuck]

You should is my point!

And I want a pink pony... doesn't mean I'm going to get it.

 

[Boris Badenov]

If you have company standard calls and aborts and you're all trained on them, is such a briefing ok?

Why wouldn't it be? The C/A or P/F (or both) vocalizes the stuff he's thinking about. Is it really such a freaking trial to pay attention for like 30 seconds? You know we're paid for this stuff, right?

 

[Cherokee_Cruiser]

Having strong opinions about people you don't know based on what they wear is a dead giveaway.

Probably just having strong opinions about people you don't know in general, which is kind of theme of the thread, AFAICT.

It’s called a generalization. Not always true of course. YMMV

I’ll know in about the first 5 minutes how a guy is from when I walk into the fight deck. You can pick up the gist of how the trip is gonna be.

 

[form810]

Why wouldn't it be? The C/A or P/F (or both) vocalizes the stuff he's thinking about. Is it really such a freaking trial to pay attention for like 30 seconds? You know we're paid for this stuff, right?

LOL.
What I'm asking is not whether or not to give a briefing, but rather, "standard calls and aborts" vs. say, "If we're below 70/80 we'll abort for any cautions or warnings. If over 70/80 but below V1, we'll abort for engine failure, fire, loss of directional control..., etc"
The question I'm asking is, is the short form acceptable?

 

[Cherokee_Cruiser]

This thread shows just how spoiled some of us actually are. Some of you could find a way to complain about winning the lottery…

We’re pilots. I’d be concerned if we WEREN’T beotching.

 

[Cherokee_Cruiser]

LOL.
What I'm asking is not whether or not to give a briefing, but rather, "standard calls and aborts" vs. say, "If we're below 70/80 we'll abort for any cautions or warnings. If over 70/80 but below V1, we'll abort for engine failure, fire, loss of directional control..., etc"
The question I'm asking is, is the short form acceptable?

In LEX, the CA briefed “the Comair standard.”

I don’t see the point of saying “the standard” unless you’re reviewing exactly what that is. It should be a general understanding you’re doing the standard, unless something dictated otherwise. Right?

 

[form810]

It’s called a generalization. Not always true of course. YMMV

I’ll know in about the first 5 minutes how a guy is from when I walk into the fight deck. You can pick up the gist of how the trip is gonna be.

Ah, efficiency. Is it even quicker for you when you see a black or brown or female person?

 

[form810]

In LEX, the CA briefed “the Comair standard.”

I don’t see the point of saying “the standard” unless you’re reviewing exactly what that is. It should be a general understanding you’re doing the standard, unless something dictated otherwise. Right?

You talking about the one where they launched from the wrong runway?
Again, I'm not talking about NOT briefing, verifying important info, etc. I'm asking specifically about and ONLY about the "standard calls and aborts" verbiage regarding ONLY the standard procedures for aborts vs the long-winded full how/when/why we're going to abort.

 

[Cherokee_Cruiser]

Ah, efficiency. Is it even quicker for you when you see a black or brown or female person?

Considering I’m a brown moose lamb…



Oh wait, you’re new here. Welcome

 

[Cherokee_Cruiser]

You talking about the one where they launched from the wrong runway?
Again, I'm not talking about NOT briefing, verifying important info, etc. I'm asking specifically about and ONLY about the "standard calls and aborts" verbiage regarding ONLY the standard procedures for aborts vs the long-winded full how/when/why we're going to abort.

Yes, Comair 5191.

I don’t see the point? When I fly with a guy on a trip, I’ll tell the FO on the first leg only, that this criteria applies for the rest of the trip, and give my abort brief (criteria, speed above 80, below 80). It exactly matches what is “company standard” but I verbalize it.

I point/ push buttons as I talk. I’ll point to the fire warning red light and say we’ll stop before V-1 for fire, then I’ll push the takeoff config and the red light illuminates and verbalize stop for this takeoff config light, and point to engine gauges and say stop for engine failure. Then I’ll hit the anunicator recall which lights up the caution light and say we’ll only stop for these Amber caution lights below 80. Above 80, cancel this caution Amber and we are going.

 

[Boris Badenov]

You could just let the guy say the stuff he feels it necessary to say, and pay attention. Could even conceivably give you some insight in to what he/she is thinking. You know, for safety of flight. Or you could make a being f'ing deal out of basically nothing because you've nothing better to get worked up about, I guess.

Like, what great and unendurable strain is it putting upon you to just shut up for 30 seconds and listen? Hell and death, you people could make a federal case out of a ham sandwich.

 

[BobDDuck]

Again, I'm not talking about NOT briefing, verifying important info, etc. I'm asking specifically about and ONLY about the "standard calls and aborts" verbiage regarding ONLY the standard procedures for aborts vs the long-winded full how/when/why we're going to abort.

It depends on the policy of the place you are at. Where I am, one fleet flies a ton of legs every day and it's totally acceptable to brief an abort once and then say "as briefed" for the rest of the day. Probably ok to say "this plane, that runway" after the 3rd time of landing there that day. For other fleets where you have less landings and tend to fly with different crew members every time, it's expected to brief everything. That said, with a threat based briefing ideology (kind of) we only have to brief the threats and then everything else is assumed "standard". Maybe not having flown with somebody before (or recently) would generate a threat of not knowing if you are on the same page as far as the abort would go, leading to a need to brief it.

If you are briefing high speed aborts, it's likely you are working as a professional pilot, and like Boris said, just be professional.

 

[mwflyer]

I mean, if you take them off, but leave the tie on with the short sleeves, the same people that ask you to find their gate for them are going to ask you where to find the cereal.

Or...

Do you wear the same short sleeved shirt and tie for 4 days when you stock shelves? Regional pilots don't need to stock shelves anymore, but do what makes you happy.

...the short sleeves and tie jokes write themselves.

Or……

they‘ll ask you how your mission is going….

 

[MikeD]

 

[RORO]

Yes, Comair 5191.

I don’t see the point? When I fly with a guy on a trip, I’ll tell the FO on the first leg only, that this criteria applies for the rest of the trip, and give my abort brief (criteria, speed above 80, below 80). It exactly matches what is “company standard” but I verbalize it.

I point/ push buttons as I talk. I’ll point to the fire warning red light and say we’ll stop before V-1 for fire, then I’ll push the takeoff config and the red light illuminates and verbalize stop for this takeoff config light, and point to engine gauges and say stop for engine failure. Then I’ll hit the anunicator recall which lights up the caution light and say we’ll only stop for these Amber caution lights below 80. Above 80, cancel this caution Amber and we are going.

I didn't think the original list was douchey, but holy • illuminating lights so I know what they look like or pushing the recall.... jesus christ dude i know what illuminated fire lights or a recall light means.

 

[Maximilian_Jenius]

Why does the Navy call submarines boats?

Why do mature women call themselves girls?

The thong thing is hard to grasp.

View attachment 65301

Is that a White Walker???

My pet peeve.

When a pilot says gas, instead of fuel. You'll get either an outward or inner eye roll. Or you'll get hissed at loudly, like a cat.

Douchey litmus test:

When the captain orders you to write the release on a napkin! And some guy you know defends him. Lol.

 

[trafficinsight]

Oh no! But would if somebody, like, sees you?? Do you have any idea how uncool that is?

The utter shame of it all, how shall I ever recover?

Actually I'm only visible one day a year, so I generally don't worry about it.

 

[Cherokee_Cruiser]

Is that a White Walker???

My pet peeve.

When a pilot says gas, instead of fuel. You'll get either an outward or inner eye roll. Or you'll get hissed at loudly, like a cat.

Douchey litmus test:

When the captain orders you to write the release on a napkin! And some guy you know defends him. Lol.

It was ATIS. And yes, slumdog defended that CA for proper use of CA authority.

Forcing a FO to write the ATIS on a napkin (specifically not on paper) is just weird / kinda messed up, says a lot more about the CA than anything.

 

[BravoHotel]

Somebody got their undergarment stuck in a wad. I bet they are a dream to spend multiple days on the road with. If personal preference doesn't violate safety or a company policy who the Frick cares?