Do any of you not tell the truth?

[killbilly]

Is there really that much to worry about?

As the spouse of a once-pilot, I think I'd be insulted if he didn't tell me anything because he didn't want to worry me. Not only am I a grown woman who doesn't need "protection," but is flying really that dangerous? Sure, pilots almost die. But so do motorcyclists and regular vehicle operators.

Shame on you for being a rational, thinking person. You obviously have no clue what it's all about. And why do you hate America?

When I was taking lessons for my PPL I would tell my girlfriend about the things we did that scared me, or the times I got lost on XCs. Now that I'm trying to convince her to fly with me as a passenger, she remembers those things and I wish I'd kept my mouth shut. She is the daughter of a CFI, and still terrified of small airplanes. I still haven't managed to get her to go up with me.

(As for not being impressed by what pilots do, I actually think non-pilots find it more impressive than other pilots do. It's always more interesting when it's not something you can do yourself. Or, at least, would go to the trouble to do yourself. IMO.)

I'm finding that somewhat true. Some people tend to feign interest, and I can usually tell right away as soon as I offer to take them up. Others are people like me - guys in their mid-30's who always wanted to fly and never did. They're the ones who start asking questions and get interested and start getting the faraway look as they work on how to tell their spouse/girlfriend that they might be interested in learning to fly.

 

[SeatClutcher]

The thing about hearing stories after the fact is that they're after the fact.

"Hey, uh...I think I'm about to crash into a mountain," is one thing. No one wants to hear that. Just like no one wants to hear, "I'm in my car and I do believe I'm about to smash into a semi at 90 mph."

But, hearing, "Holy crap, I almost bit it on a mountain!" or "You should have seen the semi I almost ate!" means the person did not, in fact, bite it on the mountain, and di not eat the semi, and all is well. At that point, it's just a hell of an exciting story.

Ian's told me a few "almost" stories, but I suppose I figured he was okay to tell me about them, so there was nothing to worry about. I also figured each one was a learning experience and that there was probably little reason to worry he'd be involved in something like any one of those experiences a second time.

And I didn't worry in general because of the confidence I have in his ability. That things are difficult sometimes (crosswinds, wet runways, what have you) haven't predicted whether he'd live through them. Difficult is just that - difficult. But if someone knows what they're doing, they know what they're doing.

(Usually. Granted, things happen - but "things happen" to everyone, and worrying about random and unlikely accidents is a waste of time.)

 

[jtrain609]

I'm pretty up front about what happens at work, though at this stage in the game, nothing too exciting really happens. And if something exciting DOES happen (like say, sliding off the end of a runway or blowing a tire and thus shutting down the airport), Em's gonna find out from the evening news before I have a chance to call her.

 

[Qgar]

Shame on you for being a rational, thinking person. You obviously have no clue what it's all about. And why do you hate America?

When I was taking lessons for my PPL I would tell my girlfriend about the things we did that scared me, or the times I got lost on XCs. Now that I'm trying to convince her to fly with me as a passenger, she remembers those things and I wish I'd kept my mouth shut. She is the daughter of a CFI, and still terrified of small airplanes. I still haven't managed to get her to go up with me.



I'm finding that somewhat true. Some people tend to feign interest, and I can usually tell right away as soon as I offer to take them up. Others are people like me - guys in their mid-30's who always wanted to fly and never did. They're the ones who start asking questions and get interested and start getting the faraway look as they work on how to tell their spouse/girlfriend that they might be interested in learning to fly.

Not singling anyone out here, but it's one thing to be involved with someone who's not very interested in aviation--it's quite another to be with someone who flat-out disapproves of the field. Trust me, your life will be a living hell if you have a spouse or significant other who is non-supportive of your career/passion. I can't even imagine the disharmony at home. anic:
If you truly love someone, you'll be happy for them if they get to follow their dream, whatever it is.

 

[Clocks]

I have found my parents believe whatever happened the last trip I speak to them about is what happens on every trip, and if its bad then it lasts for a long time. If I have a lone 2 day with some crappy landings, they assume landings are the center of my life and it's all they'll ask me about for months. If I just tell them "it was good", or tell them about the cool overnight, then that is in their mind how all of my trips are. So rather than deal with months of being asked a question about an event I've completely forgotten about...now every single trip was "good" no matter what.

 

[youngflyer]

I have learned to not tell my mom about most of my lessons except a very outlined story. After I told her that me and my CFI did a simulated engine out she said she thought that planes spiral into the ground after you pull the power. The media is to fault however due to the fact that it seems like they sensationalize every light aircraft crash.

 

[jtrain609]

I have learned to not tell my mom about most of my lessons except a very outlined story. After I told her that me and my CFI did a simulated engine out she said she thought that planes spiral into the ground after you pull the power. The media is to fault however due to the fact that it seems like they sensationalize every light aircraft crash.

Ok funny story about this kinda stuff.

When I was doing my primary training, we were working on a stall series and I was trying to explain it to my parents. My Mom gets incredibly pissed off at my instructor during the conversation, which is strange because she loved my primary instructor. Eventually she says, "I can't believe you think it's safe to just stall the engine and shut it off in flight!"

We had a discussion about aerodynamics at that point.

 

[youngflyer]

Ok funny story about this kinda stuff.

When I was doing my primary training, we were working on a stall series and I was trying to explain it to my parents. My Mom gets incredibly pissed off at my instructor during the conversation, which is strange because she loved my primary instructor. Eventually she says, "I can't believe you think it's safe to just stall the engine and shut it off in flight!"

We had a discussion about aerodynamics at that point.

Haha!!! My mom thought the same thing, except my instructor was not present at the same time.

 

[SeatClutcher]

I have learned to not tell my mom about most of my lessons except a very outlined story. After I told her that me and my CFI did a simulated engine out she said she thought that planes spiral into the ground after you pull the power. The media is to fault however due to the fact that it seems like they sensationalize every light aircraft crash.

But isn't that the perfect opportunity to correct the misinformation she's been given and explain what actually DOES happen when an engine fails? The more people know, the less likely they are to worry.

If you ("you" is anyone) are not interested in explaining, then you can continue to operate as if flying is some great mystery entered into by a select special and chosen few, and you can also expect people to make incorrect assumptions. Or, you could answer questions truthfully, correct bad information, and generate a better understanding among people you care about and who care about you.

 

[Qgar]

Ah, but a mom is a mom, and will worry about her child even though she is given a rational explanation. (especially if she's not a big fan of flying in the first place)

 

[youngflyer]

Ah, but a mom is a mom, and will worry about her child even though she is given a rational explanation. (especially if she's not a big fan of flying in the first place)

Yeah! She is not fond of flying for sure. I told her that if the engine quits, in most cases you glide down to the ground but she did not believe that. :laff:

 

[SeatClutcher]

Ah, but a mom is a mom, and will worry about her child even though she is given a rational explanation. (especially if she's not a big fan of flying in the first place)

I guess I can see that. But a spouse will worry, too - does that mean they should be kept in the dark because it's "easier"?

And, though a mom will continue to worry, she should still know what actually happens rather than continue thinking gremlins will weigh down the plane and send it plummeting to the ground in a spiral of fire.

 

[Qgar]

No, a spouse or SO should not be kept in the dark. HOWEVER, some people can't just be told something and let it go. They will harp on something FOREVER and make your life hell--wanting you to call them constantly to be sure you're still alive, etc. Sometimes, it's just easier to spare certain people in your life the gory details. FWIW, I'm not one of those people. When I was on a flight that got hit by lightning several months ago, I got right on the phone and called people to tell them about it! :hiya:

 

[minitour]

No, a spouse or SO should not be kept in the dark.

We'll have to agree to disagree on this one. When I first started taking lessons, my wife was totally against it. After I decided to do this for a career, she just about flipped. Certain things about it really set her off. Mostly it's my Aunt (who likes to play the part of know-it-all worry-wart-mom) feeding her head with inaccuracies about flying. Now, there's nothing I can do to tell her that she's been informed wrong.

In fact, just last week my aunt and I had a discussion after she saw the thing about the fuel (I think it was US Airways?) reduction. She said that I should always have enough gas to get to a 3rd airport in case the 2nd (alternate) is closed when I get there. Then she tried telling me how management was going to start making me take only 30 minutes of reserve fuel at the most (if I'm allowed to take any).

Oh...and if I get into a "stall" I need to just "pop the clutch" and it'll be fine.

With this kind of information going into my wife's ear on a daily basis, it's hard to say things like "seemed alright, had to go around a bunch of storms, got really bumpy, but it was an okay night". Sometimes "eh...been better, been worse" is a better answer to "how was your night?"

-mini

 

[Qgar]

If you read my entire post, I said they SHOULDN'T be kept in the dark, but sometimes it's best to just give the response you do to your wife. Everyone's situation is different and just because some of us like SeatClutcher and myself CAN handle the truth, many others simply cannot. YMMV.

 

[youngflyer]

We'll have to agree to disagree on this one. When I first started taking lessons, my wife was totally against it. After I decided to do this for a career, she just about flipped. Certain things about it really set her off. Mostly it's my Aunt (who likes to play the part of know-it-all worry-wart-mom) feeding her head with inaccuracies about flying. Now, there's nothing I can do to tell her that she's been informed wrong.

In fact, just last week my aunt and I had a discussion after she saw the thing about the fuel (I think it was US Airways?) reduction. She said that I should always have enough gas to get to a 3rd airport in case the 2nd (alternate) is closed when I get there. Then she tried telling me how management was going to start making me take only 30 minutes of reserve fuel at the most (if I'm allowed to take any).

Oh...and if I get into a "stall" I need to just "pop the clutch" and it'll be fine.

With this kind of information going into my wife's ear on a daily basis, it's hard to say things like "seemed alright, had to go around a bunch of storms, got really bumpy, but it was an okay night". Sometimes "eh...been better, been worse" is a better answer to "how was your night?"

-mini

How could your aunt possibly think she is right considering you are an actual pilot and she is..... not a pilot? It is almost annoying how misinformed people are and they keep thinking that they are right even considering the massive evidence proving them wrong.

 

[derg]

I know the title is a little misleading but does anyone else not tell their family/loved ones about incidents that occur while flying whether it be for work or fun?
I had a little "problem" today with the plane I was flying and when asked by one of my parents in a subsequent phone convo about how my day was I simply replied "It was alright."
When I go to work I have my game face on.... when I leave I pull a superman and am "normal"... I guess I don't want my family worrying about me and thus just leave out certain parts of my day.

Is this abnormal and inconsiderate of me or simply a burden to be bourne until happy hour with coworkers?

Any thoughts from y'all?

B

It's kinda of a tightrope.

If you tell them nothing, they develop an unrealistic perspective on your trials and tribulations and then you're simply a button pusher shuttling between happy hours.

If you tell them a little too much, you can almost seem a little narcissistic.

I guess it all depends!

 

[JA Yawd Bwoy]

It's kinda of a tightrope.

If you tell them nothing, they develop an unrealistic perspective on your trials and tribulations and then you're simply a button pusher shuttling between happy hours.

If you tell them a little too much, you can almost seem a little narcissistic.

I guess it all depends!

Just show them your pics! a picture can hold a million words!

 

[derg]

Nah, those are for you guys, man!

 

[Screaming_Emu]

Everyone I know thinks I work at McDonalds