As a dedicated commuting dispatcher, I will weigh in.
I have two children from my first marriage. It was a very amical divorce, and my ex and I share joint physical/joint legal custody with neither of us paying child support. The downside to this kind of arrangement, is that neither of us can just pick up and move...no matter what the reason. In order for me to move for my job, it would entail suing my ex husband, with whom I still have a very stable, civil, and friendly relationship, for full custody of our children. Its something I wont put him through and I certainly wont put our children through. So moving is not an option. Unfortunately, I am very limited in my options in my home town so commuting is the only viable way to build my career.
I started the whole commuting dog and pony show when I was still a flight attendant. I honed my skills back in the days before I was able to take a cockpit jumpseat on just about every domestic carrier, so I had the chops when I started commuting for DX. My first DX job was a 9E in MEM. Unfortunately, there are VERY few options between STL-MEM, unless you want to go through one (or more!) other cities. My solution? I drove. 300 miles down there, 300 miles back, 5 hours, give or take a chicken truck, and I did it every week for a year. My poor car cowered in terror...as did my paycheck as the gas prices creeped up.
My job now allows for a MUCH flexible commute. My company alone operates 3 flights per day, with two extra FA jumps in addition to the flight deck jump. I also have direct options on Southwest. And if I can get to MDW, we operate a flight almost every hour from there. Much easier, much less stressful, and much less abusive on the pocketbook.
Ive gotten VERY creative with my commutes...but, like I said, I learned to commute at a time when there were zero jumpseating options for me.
I can offer this advice:
* Before accepting a job, find out what your flight benefits are, either through non-rev and/or jumpseating. Do some research to determine who your company has reciprocal agreements with. Find out what your most direct options are, either on your own airline or by jumping on another airline.
* Find out what kind of shifts your company runs by talking to other DXers for the company, if you can. The shift you bid, will ultimately determine the commutability. I purposely bid a graveyard shift because, for me, its the most commutable. I dont report until 6 pm...giving me all day to get in. And I release at 4 am, leaving me free to jump on the very first flight available home. I also have the advantage that no one likes the graveyard shift so I usually get the days off that I want.
* I DO NOT reccommend trying to stay in a typical crew crash pad. First of all, many will often double, or even triple the rent because "you're there so much." (I ran into this problem when I first started looking) Second, you ARE there, alot more than a pilot will be. You dont want people coming and going at all times of the day and night when you are on a regular schedule. It WILL drive you bat-feces crazy. If you are a female, you WILL find that your only option is FA crash pads. No offense to FA's, but you DO NOT want to deal with the drama and cattiness of an FA crashpad (I have LOTS of experience) And unfortunately, Pilot pads, which tend to be more laid back and mellow, are generally "dudes only."
You're best bet is to find someone in your company who needs extra cash and has a room they arent using. They are out there. I pay $300 per month, utilities included, for a lovely room in a nice house, my own bathroom, driveway parking, and its just me and my roommate...a divorcee who didnt mind an extra $300 per month to pay bills. We also both work the night shift so we understand the need for quiet during the day. I DO NOT reccommend renting a room from someone non-aviation...the times Ive done this, it NEVER ended well.
* You WILL need your own car. Even if its just a beater that looks like a homeless person has been living in it. Unlike our crew brethren, we are back at our pad every night. We need real groceries, we need toilet paper, light bulbs, stockings, socks, advil, wine, hair dye, laundry detergent, hair cuts, razors, shampoo, soap, toothbrushes, food for the office potluck, etc ALOT more often than someone who might only spend 4 nights here a month. Trust me...my car broke down for a month and the bus didnt start running for 4 hours AFTER my shift ended.... it gets old REALLY fast.
*If you have a family, you need a VERY good support system at home. A spouse that is patient, flexivle, and understanding, arrangements for childcare, etc. If you have children, you'll need to be prepared for the "Absentee Parent Syndrome."....If you have been going for a year solid: Airport-work-crashpad-work-crashpad-work-crashpad-work-airport-home; and you decide to take a weekend to do something that doesnt involve your children, be prepared for hard criticism. "Dont you WANT to spend time with your kids? What a bad parent you are for wanting to do something without your kids when you're gone SOOOOOO much!" It sucks. I have a slight advantage in that my ex and I already had a custody arrangement that was basically week-on/week-off to begin with. I have to keep constant communication... if I need an extra day to pick up overtime, I run it by him first and he keeps the kids an extra day. I, in turn, will trade days or use vacation time if he needs an extra day or particular night off.... but I still catch alot of grief, if I want to put the kids to bed on a friday night and leave them with a sitter so I can go out.
* Find out if your company offers any kind of "commuter clause."....a policy that will cover your butt if you arent able to make it in, as long as certain conditions are met. Some offer it for dispatchers....others do not.
Commuting as a dispatcher can and DOES work but you need lots of support and you HAVE to be vigilant. If the TAF is calling for bad WX, you MUST have a plan B in place before you get to the airport. You have have to keep on top things such as runway constructions, atc programs, wx, etc.(This whole sequester nightmare was a good example) and be prepared to have to drop everything and leave on an earlier flight than you anticipated.
Feel free to PM me, if you want to chat.
Good luck.