Thanks. Wow I wish I could get out and enjoy some fireworks and festivities today since it's the 4th already. But I am stuck in bed since I am not allowed to put any weight on my left foot and my left ribs and collar bone are still healing from the breaks. So crutches are not an option. And my wheel chair is too heavy and awkward to put into my truck alone with only one good leg and one good arm. At least I can watch the Macy's fireworks show on TV since without cable I do get 3 channels and one of them is going to televise that
And thanks JetCareers friends. You all have really helped me settle my mind quite a bit. Maybe it was me in my old business mindset beating myself up a little too much over this. I do at times revert back to my business self since that was most of my professional life. Flying is still a blink compared to all the years in the corporate world. I just did not want to be another person who skips out on bills. And while maybe crazy expensive, the medical bills are rightfully my bills. I am proud of what I done up to now in accomplishing my dreams. Just 2 months ago my life was flying, riding my bike, and enjoying my girlfriend on a daily basis. All three of those are gone now. And on top of that I am very proud that my credit score is over 800 with all three agencies. But I am certain that is already way down by now and will be in a dark abyss very soon.
But the reality is, my health is first and I am going to get it back. And most of this is a situation that is out of my control as you mention. The Medical BK tool is there for me in this case to handle the medical bills. I should not let that hurt my pride. And I just did realize this now thanks to you all.
I just wish I could pay something to the medical people who helped me. That would help me feel good, but even a few grand is an embarrassment to the total bill. And I can't pay a penny anyway since I can't even make mortgage come August. I will talk to the bank about that soon. I heard they have a hardship department that will work with me short term since they know if the house fell into BK, that would be awful for not only me but them as well in the current economy. So they created the hardship department to provide short term flexibility to those in my situation from what I understand.
And I should also keep pride in that I will make good on all else. And even with a terrible credit score, my credit report will reflect that I keep my house and student loan out of the BK. I will still pay on those as I always have since I can afford to pay those once back to work later this year. And even though there will be some late pays and missed payments on those items, I can fend them off temporarily until back on my feet. I hope they know they will get paid since I certainly know they will get paid. It's the right thing to do since it is only the medical bills that will be in BK. I am pretty sure it works that way.
Oh and about Medicaid. In Texas you have to have less than $2,000 in countable assets. I have about $25k to $30k equity in my house as it sits in the current market. I also have a $12,000 to $14,000 book value 2006 Toyota that I bought new in 2006 with cash. That was to give me reliable transport for my career transition since I knew it would have to last at least 10 years to get me through until my pay would come up to a reasonable level in aviation.
So even with less than $100 left in my bank account and no income coming in, Texas will not allow me to have Medicaid due to the truck and house. I can give the truck to CarMax which I would be in a heart beat if it would help make good on things. But it would not make a difference. Owning a house with any equity is a major problem due to the rules of Medicaid. I have to lose my house before I get Medicaid. And you have a 90 day retroactive window for bills when you apply to Medicaid. I am already 60 days in just about. So the house will not sell in 30 days or less of course. And this bothered me for quite some time since Medicaid would pay a vast majority of the bills and leave me with a much more reasonable Medical bill I could pay back completely over ten or so years, even if fifty bucks at a time.
Again, while not happy about that system, it's the rules of the game. And you all got me thinking. The rules of the game make Medical BK the rightful option and I should not feel bad about it. I did pay tens of thousands of dollars in taxes every year while in my previous career. And a lot of that went to Medicaid which is not even something they will allow me to have given my home ownership situation. And I will still ultimately pay all my other obligations as I always have so I am not skipping out on them.
So thank you everyone. I really am feeling a little better about this situation. I still have a long way to go to recover, physically and financially. And the doc did say I may never fly again since I will not be able to feel 3/4 of my foot due to all the nerve damage/ But I already know he is wrong since I can feel 4 of my 5 toes right now. Plus I feel a lot of pain in my foot still and that means I can feel my foot in most areas except for a small part on top and near the base of my toes. So I am sure someday I will be flying the doc and his family somewhere for their vacation!
Oh yes. One last thing on how flying does not pay since that was brought up. In my old career most of us professional recruiting consultants made in the ball park of $100k and $250k a year. Those I know who were at that level in 2006 are now no where near that level. They are all around the $90k to $120k range. Many have left the stress of that world and went into corporate HR and make around $80k to $110k in that world since it's more stable. Now that's not drop in the bucket, but remember. These people lost 50% of their income or more in many cases over the last 4 years and they say pay scales are still coming down as their salaries are frozen. So what is the trend there?
It seems even for accountants and engineers coming out of college, their salaries are stagnate. And that is even if the new grad can find a job. Many are making no more money than us CFI's and pilots since they are working in jobs that are not related to their degree. Like the server at the restaurant or assistant manager at Walgreens or selling cars in the current economy.
So yes. It is true. I made less income in the last two years combined than I paid in taxes alone in 2006 which was my last full year in the corporate world. That is a drastic change financially. But I can say this. In 2006 I was not a good person inside. I disliked my career and I treated my whole life and interpersonal relationship like a business. Everything was about money and status. I would go weeks without a smile and I did not respect people as much. True happiness and peace was not in my heart. Stress was there!
Every since I began flying, I changed into a different person. I value the people in my life and I absolutely smile every day since even the sound of an airplane still makes me smile. And even though I am in a wheel chair and in a lot of pain and my foot and leg is a bloody mess from all the damage and skin grafts (it's a visual nightmare), I still went to the airport a few times to watch airplanes at San Antonio and Stinson airports. People who seen me there question why I am not in bed healing. What they do not understand is that when you love airplanes and aviation so much and you worked so hard to achieve your dream, just being at the airport is the best healing a person can have. It gives hope and happiness and reminds me of the feeling I get when performing my duties as a professional aviator. And no matter how much or how little this profession pays. And no matter how frustrating things in life can become from pursuing my dream, I will always be a professional aviator and I will fly until the medical or retirement gods tell me it's time to change.
That passion I would not trade that for anything. Well except for maybe a good woman who has wife potential. I lost her in this accident, but I dealt with that quick and already put her behind me since I can do better. She came to the hospital the day after the accident and I never seen her again. She will not respond to me at all so I gave up on her a month ago now. All I know and remember, since I was not fully together mentally from all the drugs and tubes hooked to me that day, was that she was told I may lose my foot and have other complications. That was a good possibility at that time. And that was too much for her to bare.
So unfortunately I though she'd help. But since she is gone I am actually going through this whole situation now pretty much alone with some helpful encouragement from my family (but they are all over 1,000 miles away) and the occasional help of some of my past students and folks at the school who stop by to check on me. They been a savior and don't know it yet. And of course, now the encouragement of all of you here which I value greatly. Thank you again!
And yep. I write too much. But then, I don't really have anything else to do
