In all my days, I don't think this marshalling episode will be topped. I've seen about all of it on the ramp, but this is king.
We were flying for UAX out of IAD in the G-gates right after ACA and UAL split. They hired the absolute best help they could for $6/hr in the DC metro area, and it showed. However, I can't fault this guy for trying.
It was int'l rush hour, and I'm number last. We push back, going to IAH, so I'm loaded with people, bags and gas. Long line so I want to single engine taxi.
We're disconnected, I've got #1 spinning. I give the marshaller the taxi light flash. He stands there with the big red X.
I flash him again. He holds the X and shakes it (you've all seen it when you're about 500' from the top of the T). We look around, no planes or equipment to be seen. We call ramp, no one inbound, outbound or behind us.
I flash him again. He starts pointing at the jet and dancing like he's been standing on a mound of fire ants.
I open my DV window and summon him over.
I yell down "Why can't I go?"
"Captain, you didn't start #2"
"I know", I yell, "I have gauges that tell me that!! I still want to taxi out!!"
He finally gives me the salute, and off I go....
Priceless.