BABIES

The comment you're responding to was out of line, but I have to say - it does go both ways. (I say that as a non-child-haver who has been told manaymanymany times by child-havers that having children is the best thing in the world and "You'll change your mind someday!" There are always people who think their way is the best way for them, so it must be the best way for everyone. Eh - whaddya gonna do?)


Oh I agree with this 1000%, and I am by no stretch of the imagination a “You’ve got to have a baby” advocate, trust me.

I was 34 when I had my first, and up until that point I was convinced I was never going to have any, and I never really wanted any either. I used to preach every reason for not having kids that you can think of, and at the same time I had parents counter-preaching to me that having kids was a must do.

I have come to some personal conclusions. Most of the reasons people try to sell you, and themselves, for having kids, and for not having kids, are LAME!

If you want kids your only reason should be “I love kids and want a family,” period. I hear so many other reasons that are so far out in left field that sometimes I have to laugh.

“I want someone to love, and to love me”

By a dog! It will be a lot cheaper, less stress, and if you change your mind you can always give it back.


“What if everyone decided not to reproduce, we would die out as a species”

We’ve got China and India, the human race will continue without your meager contribution.


“My child might discover a cure for cancer, walk on Mars, or be president”

He or she might also be the next Adolf Hitler or Charles Manson, just a roll of the dice really.


If having a family is not for you I think it should be a simple as “I really don’t want to raise a family.”

And yet we still get….

“I love my wife/husband so much, I don’t want anything or anyone to come between us”

If that is your reason for not having kids there is already something that has come between you.


“I love to travel, you just can’t do that once you have kids”

Last time I checked my kids move! My son had been to 7 countries on three continents before the age of three. If you like to travel kids won’t stop you.


“I don’t think I’ll make a good parent”

And you think anyone parent thought they would beforehand? Please.


“We can’t afford to have kid, they cost so much”

Maybe, maybe not, but I have never seen kids drive rich people into the poor house, or make a broke person rich. My point, if you are let’s say middle class without kids odds are you will be middle class with kids. You start to do different things with your cash, you spend more on kids and less on other things, but I know personally (and the same with many parents I have spoken to) you don’t really feel it as much as you would have thought.


Now I am well aware that all too often it is insecurity that leads people to rattle off all of their reason for having kids, or not having kids. More often they are trying to convince themselves more than they are trying to convince anyone else that their decision is the right one.

However, there are times where people feel the need to go into elaborate detail about why they want or don’t want because their peers browbeat such explanations out of them rather than excepting simple ones.

This is what you are referring to, and I don’t agree with the practice, but like you said “What do you do?”
 
Ours just turned two.

Best investment ever was buying an electric breast pump for the wife. She got herself on a cow-like milking routine and we were able to start putting breast milk in the freezer in the garage. After about six months we started feeding him from cold storage. So basically were able to go over a year on breast-milk for less than six months of breast-feeding. Never had to buy formula.

;)

Wow. The garage is your only sanctity in the house, and she makes you store her freakin' milk in there? I love my childless life....:p
 
Do you have any idea how much money I saved? She could have parked a cow in there for all I care if I save that kind of dough!!!

<--- never bought a can of formula
 
Congratulations pullup, you were given a prestigeous "reading between the lines" award :D given only to people who pay attention in the threads :D ...yeap, there is a pam jr, or should I call it....skidz jr on the way :nana2::nana2::rawk:
 
CONGRATULATIONS!!! I'm soooo excited for you two!!! I was wondering when you were gonna spill the beans!
:nana2::nana2::nana2::nana2::nana2::nana2::nana2::nana2:
 
Congratulations pullup, you were given a prestigeous "reading between the lines" award :D given only to people who pay attention in the threads :D ...yeap, there is a pam jr, or should I call it....skidz jr on the way :nana2::nana2::rawk:

Ahhh... I thought you guys wanted a girl?

Girls aren't Jrs there sport! :D

CONGRATULATIONS!!! I'm soooo excited for you two!!! I was wondering when you were gonna spill the beans!
:nana2::nana2::nana2::nana2::nana2::nana2::nana2::nana2:

Yeah, me too.

I am surprised that she they were able to hold out so long.
 
We have a 16 month old at home, and she's a joy. She was 9 months old when my husband made the jump to the airlines, and he told me to trim almost 800$ off the monthly budget. I didn't get quite that far, but here's what DID work

Cloth diapers - it's not as bad as you think, some of the ones availble now even look like disposables that you just wash and reuse. Send your wife to www.cottonbabies.com and www.clothdiaperblog.com and also cloth wipes are great, just use water and those cheapy washcloths at walmart.

Breastfeeding - and get a manual pump (and find your nearest lactation consultant).

Consignement shops and thrift stores are the best places to shop for kids clothes, they're worn only a few times usually anyway and are much cheaper than what you'll find in the stores.

Invest in a crib that converts to a regular bed.........and keep a spare twin sized bedrframe in your basement (if you have another child, you may be able to convert the crib back and only need to buy a twin mattress)

Scavange furniture from your family. We have my old low dresser in our daughter's room, with a changing pad on top of it as the changing station. Instead of a glider, we swiped the rocking upholstered club chair from my grandmother's house (w/ her permission). You will find things that will work as substitutes for much of what you see in the stores - be creative.

Most of all, just breathe deep and hang on while your world is turned upside down. Best wishes.
 
First, have her start on prenatal vitamins. Very important!

Second, start picking up 1 package of diapers everytime you are at the store...and not just size 1 and 2. I would purchase the size 3's and 4's as well and you can use too big of a diaper if necessary but you can't force them into too small of one. The baby is in size 1 the shortest time usually.

Babies don't have to be outrageously expensive as far as material needs unless you want them to be! Honestly, my husband and I spent very little on our first. We purchased a crib/changing table set; it wasn't our dream one but it was cheap and worked (cost about $100 for the set with the mattress). A bassinet for next to your bed is nice; Walmart has some for around $30. Diapers, some clothes, a car seat and stroller. She was set!

Don't stress it; don't be afraid of your baby. I was always so grateful my husband wasn't afraid at all of newborns. He has always changed the diapers for the first while and I have to beg to hold the baby! The great thing about it is now he has an excellent relationship with our children. I honestly think it started with the bonding right from birth!

Hope it goes well and enjoy the time together now..I SWEAR babies have a sex monitor. The moment you have 2 minutes together that you aren't too exhausted to enjoy, they smell the phermones and want that attention! Our first was determined to be an only child!
 
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