dustoff17
Still trying to reach the Top Shelf
Yours is the one that took the hit. Just look at the ILS into Kansas City. There are points with names like SPICEY, BARBQ, TERKY, SMOKE, and RIBBS...
That's when you KNOW you're in the right place!!
NJA_Capt
Well-Known Member
Kids, this is what drugs does to your brain.
Friends, don't let friends pick BBQ stops from the approach plates. :facepalm:
dustoff17
Still trying to reach the Top Shelf
First of all; I fixed it for you! (rather ironic, huh?)
Secondly, if this is the measure of a friend, then I'll just stick with the great KC BBQ.
ChasenSFO
hen teaser
I've heard so many I don't even know where to start. Maybe if some others come to mind later I'll post, but for now I'll focus on the flying I've done around Kentucky where radio calls tend to be less than professional sometimes. Of course, add southern accents to all of the following:
(final at LOU with 172 coming up on the hold short)
172:"Tower this here is Cessna 08J we're fixin' ta take off"
Tower: "08J, hold short, landing traffic"
172: "Alright we'll park 'er here"
(we're ready to taxi but can't call up because this is going on...)
LOU: "Twin Cessna 1234 taxi to ramp"
Cessna: "Cessna 1234"
LOU: "So Jon, how was the fishing trip?"
Cessna: "Well sir we had quite the time, caught one hell of a bass, some halibut, had quite the time".
LOU: "Oh halibut sounds good right now. Say when you gonna give me that twin of yours?"
Cessna: "Sir I wouldn't let ya touch it, you'd probably go and make the whole interior pink or something."
LOU: (very matter-of-factly)"I would paint the whole thing blue."(goes on much longer, maybe 2 minutes)
(3 seconds of silence)
Me: "...OK...ground 7LA East T's taxi Juliet..."
Friend: "Scottsburg traffic, Skyhawk 08J inbound for a low pass, Scottsburg"(Scottsburg is a tiny tiny grass field in the middle of no where)
'AirBoss': (instantly)"08J, this is the air boss, we have an ultralight about to take off, BUT BUT you come right in! We'll hold him!"(very excited)
(golf cart drives out on the grass field, see's how low we are, in a big panicking "Aw crap" motion, he quickly reverses off the runway)
'AirBoss': "You boys have a SAFE flight back now...ya hear?"
Now, fast-forward to the very next day. I am flying home via Detroit, sitting on the DC-9 just happy to have a row to myself. A very large and loud couple comes running down the aisle right as the door closes and sits next to me. We get to talking. They live in Scottsburg. I mention we flew there. They were there at the airport for our flyby. We talk about flying for a little bit since their cousin Larry is the 'AirBoss'. Then the lady loudly shouts "Man, the way you boys came flyin' in Larry thought ya'll was gonna KILL ya'lls sevles!"(Hence the safe comment). A Northwest captain who was probably listening in on us just looks at me from across the aisle with a look of disapproval and shakes his head. Small world. Goes to show you never know who'll see you being a dumbass, then scold you for it.
A member of these forums argues for days with JordanD while preparing me for my private that the Northern reporting point at LOU is 3-mile Island not 6-mile Island. After fueling up in JVY and crossing the river I call up:
Me: "LOU, 7LA, 3-mile Island, landing, foxtrot"
LOU: "Alright I don't HAVE a 3-mile island sir, I will ASSUME that you're talking about 6-mile island which is in your approximate location"
(Jordan D starts bouncing laughing and clapping in the back seat like a seal getting a whiff of a bucket of sardines, my instructor's silence said it all. Hilarious.)
Quiet day on LEX approach:
Random pilot in his best 70s porn star voice: "...chicka-chicka ooooooooooooooooooh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah"
LEX App: (instantly and totally caught off guard) "I'm sorry?!?!"
Over JVY CTAF:
Random: "Hey, Cessna 150 over the town, you on?"
150: "Yeah go ahead I'm listening"
Random: "Hey buddy, wondering if you could check for me, does that Bass Pro shop look open? Are there still cars?"
150: "Lemme look...yep. Open as ever".
Random: "Thank you kindly".
And one from back home, standing on my lawn in the hills(over looks SFO) around 1AM watching the very very rare occurrence(as in first time in my life) where planes are landing on 1R/L buzzing $1 million homes in the middle of the night, Asiana Cargo 744 is landing right behind Korean Air Cargo who is in his rollout and gets a late landing clearance. I have my scanner, and keep in mind as this happens I watch the thing come screaming past me in its Kai Tak Bank. Both pilots here had horrible English which made it even better.
Asiana: "Short final sirrrrrrrrr! Short final sirrrrrrrrrrrr!"
SFO: "Korean Air 123 Heavy can you make the next exit?"
Korean: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
SFO: "Korean Air 123 Heavy, traffic turning short final behind you, can make that next left?"
Korean: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"(as he exits)
SFO: "Asiana 123 Heavy cleared to land 1R cleared to land 1R, low aircraft alert by the way"
Asiana: "Cleared to land!....*holds mic*....Bank angle! Bank angle! WHOOP WHO-SINK RATE SINK RATE SINK RATE SINK RATE 50 10 *BAM BAM*'AYYYYYYYYYE' SINK RATE *BAM BAM BAM* HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!(reversers)"
SFO:"Korean 123 taxi to parking via XYZ, Asiana, very cool sir! Thanks for the show. Left when able".
You could tell those pilots had the time of their life on that approach. I laughed pretty hard while it was happening. Good thing there were no pax in the back.
(final at LOU with 172 coming up on the hold short)
172:"Tower this here is Cessna 08J we're fixin' ta take off"
Tower: "08J, hold short, landing traffic"
172: "Alright we'll park 'er here"
(we're ready to taxi but can't call up because this is going on...)
LOU: "Twin Cessna 1234 taxi to ramp"
Cessna: "Cessna 1234"
LOU: "So Jon, how was the fishing trip?"
Cessna: "Well sir we had quite the time, caught one hell of a bass, some halibut, had quite the time".
LOU: "Oh halibut sounds good right now. Say when you gonna give me that twin of yours?"
Cessna: "Sir I wouldn't let ya touch it, you'd probably go and make the whole interior pink or something."
LOU: (very matter-of-factly)"I would paint the whole thing blue."(goes on much longer, maybe 2 minutes)
(3 seconds of silence)
Me: "...OK...ground 7LA East T's taxi Juliet..."
Friend: "Scottsburg traffic, Skyhawk 08J inbound for a low pass, Scottsburg"(Scottsburg is a tiny tiny grass field in the middle of no where)
'AirBoss': (instantly)"08J, this is the air boss, we have an ultralight about to take off, BUT BUT you come right in! We'll hold him!"(very excited)
(golf cart drives out on the grass field, see's how low we are, in a big panicking "Aw crap" motion, he quickly reverses off the runway)
'AirBoss': "You boys have a SAFE flight back now...ya hear?"
Now, fast-forward to the very next day. I am flying home via Detroit, sitting on the DC-9 just happy to have a row to myself. A very large and loud couple comes running down the aisle right as the door closes and sits next to me. We get to talking. They live in Scottsburg. I mention we flew there. They were there at the airport for our flyby. We talk about flying for a little bit since their cousin Larry is the 'AirBoss'. Then the lady loudly shouts "Man, the way you boys came flyin' in Larry thought ya'll was gonna KILL ya'lls sevles!"(Hence the safe comment). A Northwest captain who was probably listening in on us just looks at me from across the aisle with a look of disapproval and shakes his head. Small world. Goes to show you never know who'll see you being a dumbass, then scold you for it.
A member of these forums argues for days with JordanD while preparing me for my private that the Northern reporting point at LOU is 3-mile Island not 6-mile Island. After fueling up in JVY and crossing the river I call up:
Me: "LOU, 7LA, 3-mile Island, landing, foxtrot"
LOU: "Alright I don't HAVE a 3-mile island sir, I will ASSUME that you're talking about 6-mile island which is in your approximate location"
(Jordan D starts bouncing laughing and clapping in the back seat like a seal getting a whiff of a bucket of sardines, my instructor's silence said it all. Hilarious.)
Quiet day on LEX approach:
Random pilot in his best 70s porn star voice: "...chicka-chicka ooooooooooooooooooh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah"
LEX App: (instantly and totally caught off guard) "I'm sorry?!?!"
Over JVY CTAF:
Random: "Hey, Cessna 150 over the town, you on?"
150: "Yeah go ahead I'm listening"
Random: "Hey buddy, wondering if you could check for me, does that Bass Pro shop look open? Are there still cars?"
150: "Lemme look...yep. Open as ever".
Random: "Thank you kindly".
And one from back home, standing on my lawn in the hills(over looks SFO) around 1AM watching the very very rare occurrence(as in first time in my life) where planes are landing on 1R/L buzzing $1 million homes in the middle of the night, Asiana Cargo 744 is landing right behind Korean Air Cargo who is in his rollout and gets a late landing clearance. I have my scanner, and keep in mind as this happens I watch the thing come screaming past me in its Kai Tak Bank. Both pilots here had horrible English which made it even better.
Asiana: "Short final sirrrrrrrrr! Short final sirrrrrrrrrrrr!"
SFO: "Korean Air 123 Heavy can you make the next exit?"
Korean: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
SFO: "Korean Air 123 Heavy, traffic turning short final behind you, can make that next left?"
Korean: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"(as he exits)
SFO: "Asiana 123 Heavy cleared to land 1R cleared to land 1R, low aircraft alert by the way"
Asiana: "Cleared to land!....*holds mic*....Bank angle! Bank angle! WHOOP WHO-SINK RATE SINK RATE SINK RATE SINK RATE 50 10 *BAM BAM*'AYYYYYYYYYE' SINK RATE *BAM BAM BAM* HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!(reversers)"
SFO:"Korean 123 taxi to parking via XYZ, Asiana, very cool sir! Thanks for the show. Left when able".
You could tell those pilots had the time of their life on that approach. I laughed pretty hard while it was happening. Good thing there were no pax in the back.
braunpilot
What day is it?
I was flying the MIZ approach when this happened. (We often cross paths and see each other.)
Controller: "FLX start waving at company traffic 12'O clock, opposite direction 6,000"
Me: "FLX looking for traffic and I'm waving."
Controller: "Just make sure it's not with one finger!"
Company and I were on fingers having a good laugh wishing more controllers were like that.
Controller: "FLX start waving at company traffic 12'O clock, opposite direction 6,000"
Me: "FLX looking for traffic and I'm waving."
Controller: "Just make sure it's not with one finger!"
Company and I were on fingers having a good laugh wishing more controllers were like that.
Cav
Former Maddog Whisperer
Funny, but pretty toolish.
Unknown voice NOT Cav!
Autothrust Blue
”…trusting ze process…”
Mapping over Seattle downtown today in the departure corridor:
"JetBlue 684 report the Cessna 206 in sight at your two o'clock, four miles, VFR, four thousand five hundred."
"JetBlue 684 has the little Cessna in sight."
"Roger, Beer Can 196, report the JetBlue Airbus in sight."
"We have the LITTLE Airbus in sight, Beer Can 196, and will maintain visual separation."
"JetBlue 684 report the Cessna 206 in sight at your two o'clock, four miles, VFR, four thousand five hundred."
"JetBlue 684 has the little Cessna in sight."
"Roger, Beer Can 196, report the JetBlue Airbus in sight."
"We have the LITTLE Airbus in sight, Beer Can 196, and will maintain visual separation."
Vector4Food
This job would be easier without all the airplanes
We have a initial fix for a short gate RNP around here called:
MIVAG
female controller,
I'll let you guys fill in the rest...
MIVAG
female controller,
I'll let you guys fill in the rest...
BobDDuck
Island Bus Driver
Coming out of Daytona Beach today. We were holding short of 7L, waiting for a Diamond Twin to land. He get's really squirrely around 10 feet and goes around.
DA42: We're going around.
DAB Tower: Ok, make left traffic and when you can, please state the reason for the go around.
DA42: (with out any pause) ##### landing.
DAB Tower: (long pause) Roger.
We were laughing all the way through 10,000.
DA42: We're going around.
DAB Tower: Ok, make left traffic and when you can, please state the reason for the go around.
DA42: (with out any pause) ##### landing.
DAB Tower: (long pause) Roger.
We were laughing all the way through 10,000.
ChasenSFO
hen teaser
For some reason, that last one reminds me of my long solo XC, the only time I got nervous on the radio and said something I didn't mean to broadcast. I was nervous, kept screwing up, and was totally embarrassed with ATC there when I'm normally slick on the radio. Simply put, I was a 17 year old kid with maybe 20 hours and my confidence got shaken when first calling the tower and I was an idiot until I was out of their airspace. Looking back, I laugh. I flew SQL-MCE-MER and back, MCE-MER was a quick tiny hop, I called the tower when I was airborne:
Me: "Castle Tower, Skyhawk 3504P out of Merced request the option with Mike".
MER: "Skyhawk 04P, Castle Tower, runway 31 make straight in"
Me: "Straight in 31, 04P".
(I'm on about 2 mile final, just waiting)
MER: "04P, what are you doing, what are your intentions sir?"
Me: "####, I don't know, to land?!"
MER: "I thought I told you to report 3 mile final, sir?"
Me: "Negative!"
MER: "Well, I did sir, you're cleared for the option runway 31."
So I land, its an old AFB which housed B-52s and the taxiways are way spread apart. I make a 180, no one behind me, to try to catch the first taxiway I missed or its a 1/4 mile taxi to the next exit.
Ground: "Sir, what the heck do you think you're doing back tracking on my runway?"
Me: "Um, missed the exit...I was going back to it"
Ground: "Sir, you need to call for that"
Me: "Dude...I mean, ####, Sir! Its faster than taxiing to the next exit!"
Ground: "Sir, contact ground .8 for the taxi back when clear"
(I call ground, he tells me to taxi back, the hold short isn't where I thought it would be, I roll past it still on ground freq)
Ground: "04P, STOP you've passed the hold short".
Me: "Ahh! Ok, sorry! I'm sorry!"
Ground: (laughing)"Ok sir, contact tower...err...where you heading, you need help getting back like a vector or flight following...?"
Me: "Going to tower, and we're headed to SQL for 04P...I'll go ahead and take flight following if you don't mind".
Ground: (still laughing)"Ok, tower will get you a squak, have a safe trip, pal."
Me: "Castle tower, 04P holding short 31, left 45 departure"
MER: "04P, Castle tower, cleared for take off 31, direct SQL approved, squak 1234"
Me: "Cleared for takeoff 31, direct SQL, squak 1234 for 04P"
MER: "04P...you don't have to fly the entire runway length...go ahead and turn towards SQL please".
Me: "Uh...ok...direct SQL for 04P"
MER: "04P, contact Norcal 134.5, be careful up there"
Me: "Ok 134.5...thanks, 04P....Norcal, good evening, Skyhawk 3504P out of Castle climbing 900 for 4,000".
MER: "04P...(deep sigh)...you're still on tower. Go ahead and call Norcal on 134.5..."
Me: "Ok, sorry, 134.5 for 04P. Sorry, student pilot".
MER: "Jesus, now you tell us. Good night sir."
But hey, if you can't laugh at yourself right?
Me: "Castle Tower, Skyhawk 3504P out of Merced request the option with Mike".
MER: "Skyhawk 04P, Castle Tower, runway 31 make straight in"
Me: "Straight in 31, 04P".
(I'm on about 2 mile final, just waiting)
MER: "04P, what are you doing, what are your intentions sir?"
Me: "####, I don't know, to land?!"
MER: "I thought I told you to report 3 mile final, sir?"
Me: "Negative!"
MER: "Well, I did sir, you're cleared for the option runway 31."
So I land, its an old AFB which housed B-52s and the taxiways are way spread apart. I make a 180, no one behind me, to try to catch the first taxiway I missed or its a 1/4 mile taxi to the next exit.
Ground: "Sir, what the heck do you think you're doing back tracking on my runway?"
Me: "Um, missed the exit...I was going back to it"
Ground: "Sir, you need to call for that"
Me: "Dude...I mean, ####, Sir! Its faster than taxiing to the next exit!"
Ground: "Sir, contact ground .8 for the taxi back when clear"
(I call ground, he tells me to taxi back, the hold short isn't where I thought it would be, I roll past it still on ground freq)
Ground: "04P, STOP you've passed the hold short".
Me: "Ahh! Ok, sorry! I'm sorry!"
Ground: (laughing)"Ok sir, contact tower...err...where you heading, you need help getting back like a vector or flight following...?"
Me: "Going to tower, and we're headed to SQL for 04P...I'll go ahead and take flight following if you don't mind".
Ground: (still laughing)"Ok, tower will get you a squak, have a safe trip, pal."
Me: "Castle tower, 04P holding short 31, left 45 departure"
MER: "04P, Castle tower, cleared for take off 31, direct SQL approved, squak 1234"
Me: "Cleared for takeoff 31, direct SQL, squak 1234 for 04P"
MER: "04P...you don't have to fly the entire runway length...go ahead and turn towards SQL please".
Me: "Uh...ok...direct SQL for 04P"
MER: "04P, contact Norcal 134.5, be careful up there"
Me: "Ok 134.5...thanks, 04P....Norcal, good evening, Skyhawk 3504P out of Castle climbing 900 for 4,000".
MER: "04P...(deep sigh)...you're still on tower. Go ahead and call Norcal on 134.5..."
Me: "Ok, sorry, 134.5 for 04P. Sorry, student pilot".
MER: "Jesus, now you tell us. Good night sir."
But hey, if you can't laugh at yourself right?
Pilotforhire587
Lycra Man
A150K
Well-Known Member
For some reason, that last one reminds me of my long solo XC, the only time I got nervous on the radio and said something I didn't mean to broadcast. I was nervous, kept screwing up, and was totally embarrassed with ATC there when I'm normally slick on the radio. Simply put, I was a 17 year old kid with maybe 20 hours and my confidence got shaken when first calling the tower and I was an idiot until I was out of their airspace. Looking back, I laugh. I flew SQL-MCE-MER and back, MCE-MER was a quick tiny hop, I called the tower when I was airborne:
Me: "Castle Tower, Skyhawk 3504P out of Merced request the option with Mike".
MER: "Skyhawk 04P, Castle Tower, runway 31 make straight in"
Me: "Straight in 31, 04P".
(I'm on about 2 mile final, just waiting)
MER: "04P, what are you doing, what are your intentions sir?"
Me: "####, I don't know, to land?!"
MER: "I thought I told you to report 3 mile final, sir?"
Me: "Negative!"
MER: "Well, I did sir, you're cleared for the option runway 31."
So I land, its an old AFB which housed B-52s and the taxiways are way spread apart. I make a 180, no one behind me, to try to catch the first taxiway I missed or its a 1/4 mile taxi to the next exit.
Ground: "Sir, what the heck do you think you're doing back tracking on my runway?"
Me: "Um, missed the exit...I was going back to it"
Ground: "Sir, you need to call for that"
Me: "Dude...I mean, ####, Sir! Its faster than taxiing to the next exit!"
Ground: "Sir, contact ground .8 for the taxi back when clear"
(I call ground, he tells me to taxi back, the hold short isn't where I thought it would be, I roll past it still on ground freq)
Ground: "04P, STOP you've passed the hold short".
Me: "Ahh! Ok, sorry! I'm sorry!"
Ground: (laughing)"Ok sir, contact tower...err...where you heading, you need help getting back like a vector or flight following...?"
Me: "Going to tower, and we're headed to SQL for 04P...I'll go ahead and take flight following if you don't mind".
Ground: (still laughing)"Ok, tower will get you a squak, have a safe trip, pal."
Me: "Castle tower, 04P holding short 31, left 45 departure"
MER: "04P, Castle tower, cleared for take off 31, direct SQL approved, squak 1234"
Me: "Cleared for takeoff 31, direct SQL, squak 1234 for 04P"
MER: "04P...you don't have to fly the entire runway length...go ahead and turn towards SQL please".
Me: "Uh...ok...direct SQL for 04P"
MER: "04P, contact Norcal 134.5, be careful up there"
Me: "Ok 134.5...thanks, 04P....Norcal, good evening, Skyhawk 3504P out of Castle climbing 900 for 4,000".
MER: "04P...(deep sigh)...you're still on tower. Go ahead and call Norcal on 134.5..."
Me: "Ok, sorry, 134.5 for 04P. Sorry, student pilot".
MER: "Jesus, now you tell us. Good night sir."
But hey, if you can't laugh at yourself right?
3504P is actually based at the flight school I'm doing my commercial at. I rent it occasionally to shoot practice approaches when my preferred 172 is already taken.
ChasenSFO
hen teaser
Oh really? I heard my old school was in trouble guess they sold it off. Did my first solo and have over 90 hours in that airplane. Don't break it.