What makes a person tick?

BravoHotel

Well-Known Member
I need another perspective. Professionally the last year plus I was in a holding pattern. I just plodding toward my goal, there are many times I wanted to abandon ship. In fact I had both feet over the edge one hand on the railing timing the swells and looking to swim to the land mass as we drifted by. For what ever reason I got back on the ship even though at times it felt like it was adrift and going in the wrong direction! One time I actually did jump. I saw a patch of land that looked magical but turned out to be a bunch of poop keeping the grass green. I was able to get back on the ship as it drifted by. The ship for me was the dropzone. Yeah I was flying but I sure wasn't going anywhere.

But here I am, the first week into the goal of which I have strived so long for. I'm not saying I am going to jump ship or anything. But it just feels strange. The other half mentioned I need to find what makes me tick, what drives me. Working at the drop zone I think obscured that. Here I am, and I see so many things happening around me and I wonder why it took so long to get here. Especially with people who had bigger stumbling blocks to overcome and they arrived so much quicker. I just feel sorta not very excited about the whole situation when I should be.
 
It's sounds like a case of needing to re-focus, getting your head back in the game and being happy that you landed where you wanted to be. Hopefully, you made the right decision and will be satisfied with the new gig. Shake off the past, the what ifs, the guys who you think got to their goals sooner and the rest of the b.s.

You're just experiencing the transition period jimmies. Shake it off. Re-focus, concentrate, put your all into where you are now, look forward to the future, work hard and be the man you know you are inside. Enjoy and be grateful for finally getting there. That's all that matters. No need to over analyze it all. All you'll do is give yourself doubts. Don't feel either like you're supposed to be elated as all hell either. Any feeling below that will feel anti-climatic. Steady and even is the name of the game here. Take a breath, keep busy and stay positive. It will all iron itself out.
 
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It's sounds like a case of needing to re-focus, getting your head back in the game and being happy that you landed where you wanted to be. Hopefully, you made the right decision and will be satisfied with the new gig. Shake off the past, the what ifs, the guys who you think got to their goals sooner and the rest of the b.s.

You're just experiencing the transition period jimmies. Shake it off. Re-focus, concentrate, put your all into where you are now, look forward to the future, work hard and be the man you know you are inside. Enjoy and be grateful for finally getting there. That's all that matters. No need to over analyze it all. All you'll do is give yourself doubts. Don't feel either like you're supposed to be elated as all hell either. Any feeling below that will feel anti-climatic. Steady and even is the name of the game here. Take a breath, keep busy and stay positive. It will all iron itself out.

Appreciate your perspective. I wrote your passage verbatim on a 3x5 card so I could read it a few more times off line.
 
I understand your frustration as its really close to where I am professionally. The upside for me is that while I love my job, and I'm damn goof at it, it isn't what makes me tick. What I do outside of work is what makes me happy.

Unfortunately I'm reaching a point where my lack of career progression is having an impact on the life I feel I should be living outside of work. Everything seems to be on hold until something good happens.

The frustrating part is that it's so much out of my control. Could I do more? Absolutely. I feel that bring a job fair groupie would upset my home/work balance. Does that put me at a disadvantage? Probably, but it certainly helps keep me more sane in the long run.

Figure out what it is that makes you happy and apply yourself to it. If it is flying airplanes, then so be it. Just be careful to insulate yourself from it so it doesn't absolutely destroy you if it bites you in the ass.
 
I think that part of the issue for many guys and work, is certainly frustration. When things are going great, you're fine. But with all the hiccups in this career, it's easy to get down, start questioning yourself and sometimes the crap moments can just color everything in brown. It really is a matter of perspective. You have to keep re-focusing. You seriously need a life outside of work and hopefully a significant other, family, friends, activities and hobbies. Men tend to define so much of themselves by their job/career. But really, we are so much more. Try to remember that. You can also be the terrific Dad, the good husband, the friend, the guy who can repair things, the guy who plays a decent piano, the guy who helps others, the guy who is in shape and takes care of himself and can swim 60 laps, the guy who can make the best pancakes on the planet, the guy who collects whatever, the guy who paints or writes, and has many other skills and interests outside of his job. Don't let just "work" define you as a person.

It's hard not to keep winding ourselves up and thinking maybe I should have gone here or there or not done that or should have done this instead. There are no guarantees and no road maps. Few of us lead a charmed life so to speak. But for me, that's also part of the adventure. We all make some bad choices along the way and some terrific ones. We all get lucky here and there along the way too, thankfully. What counts, is to learn, be appreciative and keep on moving forward.

The tricky part is understanding the difference between stagnation and just needing to be be more patient, and hanging in there. That is something each person has to measure and decide for themselves. We can be our own worst enemy. It's also good to do some serious reflecting and re-evaluation on where you are from time to time and stay in touch with yourself. See if you are drifting, on course or need to alter your course. If you need to make a change, timing is important. Don't drag your ass about it either. We can find ourselves shackled to that comfortable/knowable, but going no where place. Include your partner too. He or she is affected as much as you are in these decisions and you won't feel as though you have to shoulder all the decisions and the weighting of choices alone. If you are single, rely on the friends and family that you trust. When all else fails, give yourself a little break/rest/some time off. Life and work can simply wear you out from time to time.
 
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I think that part of the issue for many guys and work, is certainly frustration. When things are going great, you're fine. But with all the hiccups in this career, it's easy to get down, start questioning yourself and sometimes the crap moments can just color everything in brown. It really is a matter of perspective. You have to keep re-focusing. You seriously need a life outside of work and hopefully a significant other, family, friends, activities and hobbies. Men tend to define so much of themselves by their job/career. But really, we are so much more. Try to remember that. You can also be the terrific Dad, the good husband, the friend, the guy who can repair things, the guy who plays a decent piano, the guy who helps others, the guy who is in shape and takes care of himself and can swim 60 laps, the guy who can make the best pancakes on the planet, the guy who collects whatever, the guy who paints or writes, and has many other skills and interests outside of his job. Don't let just "work" define you as a person.

It's hard not to keep winding ourselves up and thinking maybe I should have gone here or there or not done that or should have done this instead. There are no guarantees and no road maps. Few of us lead a charmed life so to speak. But for me, that's also part of the adventure. We all make some bad choices along the way and some terrific ones. We all get lucky here and there along the way too, thankfully. What counts, is to learn, be appreciative and keep on moving forward.

The tricky part is understanding the difference between stagnation and just needing to be be more patient, and hanging in there. That is something each person has to measure and decide for themselves. We can be our own worst enemy. It's also good to do some serious reflecting and re-evaluation on where you are from time to time and stay in touch with yourself. See if you are drifting, on course or need to alter your course. If you need to make a change, timing is important. Don't drag your ass about it either. We can find ourselves shackled to that comfortable/knowable, but going no where place. Include your partner too. He or she is affected as much as you are in these decisions and you won't feel as though you have to shoulder all the decisions and the weighting of choices alone. If you are single, rely on the friends and family that you trust. When all else fails, give yourself a little break/rest/some time off. Life and work can simply wear you out from time to time.

Well said.

This should be pinned.

@Derg and @MikeD - we should start a "Sage Advice -read this" thread added to only by you guys. I know this post, as well as several by @ZapBrannigan and OrangeAnchor (may he rest in peace) should be pinned.
 
Well said.

This should be pinned.

@Derg and @MikeD - we should start a "Sage Advice -read this" thread added to only by you guys. I know this post, as well as several by @ZapBrannigan and OrangeAnchor (may he rest in peace) should be pinned.
Thanks Martin, really. I am just some old dog pilot who has been there done that and still going there. I hate to see so many young guys struggling internally, being frustrated, full of doubts and feeling a bit lost and isolated. Sometimes, it's just overblown (we are all guilty of that from time to time) and self-imposed to a certain degree. Being too hard on one's self accomplishes nothing. It's just as self-destructive as being unmotivated and uninspired. It's a long marathon in this life, not a sprint. You have to hang in there for the long run and be prepared for the shin splints, the side stitches, the falls and the uneven roads.

Perspective and focus are everything. I have very much been reminded of this lately in some side charity work that I am currently involved in. You don't have to look very far to find people with real issues and real problems that they are struggling with to overcome. That alone can make our little life issues drop way down the scale and practically disappear. Sometimes, we just need to step outside ourselves.

I only know what I know. (which isn't much. lol) I enjoy being a Dad and a mentor, so I like giving some advice from time to time when the mood strikes me and hopefully someone can get something out of my little ramblings here and there. Anyways, thank you for your kind words.
 
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