Re: What HAVE you flown? (Inspired by the Bucket List Thread
Zap, how'd you like the JS31? One of the not so shiny airplanes on my bucket list.
I remember the first time that I saw the Jetstream up close after finishing simulator. I had just come out of the Cessna 402 where I flew single-pilot, night freight for about a year. I remember thinking that the Jetstream was ENORMOUS. For all of its faults, it was a fun airplane to fly. It was never "in trim" -- so most people flew it with one hand on the trim wheel. If you weren't trimming, you were probably doing something wrong. It required a lot of trim. All the time. In the flare you didn't pull the power off until you were ready for the wheels to touch. When the props went flat you stopped flying, and the "lift dump" flaps made sure you stayed on the ground.
It was a noisy airplane. I wore earplugs underneath David Clarks (nobody had anything noise cancelling back then). We kept the key to the baggage compartment in the cockpit in a little compartment by the copilot's seat. I didn't always leave it there... sometimes I was lazy and left it in the lock. Then a passenger would come up and tell me that there were suitcases in the bathroom... after that I would carry the key again for a little bit longer.
You learned never to put anything in the pod, lest it come out covered with water and hydraulic fluid. I had the pod-door come open one time over Lake Erie. We landed in Hamilton, Ontario and as we taxied in the look on the ramper's face was pure terror. I opened the door and ran and hid inside... peeked out to watch the passengers getting off the airplane. I think we only lost two bags... it was a long time ago.
I never flew an airplane that had more nicknames... Jetstream... jetscream... wet dream... chuckwagon... death stream... death star... whistling ("s" word for poop) can...
I wouldn't trade a minute of it. Lots and lots of fun!
Here's a song -- I think it was written by a Trans States pilot -- about the J31. Sung to the tune of "Gilligan's Island Theme Song"
Jetstream Song
To the tune of Gilligan's Island:
Just sit right back and you'll hear our tale
Of a typical Jetstream trip
We stuff 19 paying passengers
Aboard our tiny ship
No drinks, no stu, no cockpit door
Not a single luxury
Like Orville and Wilbur Wright
As primitive as can be
As primitive as can be
My armrest's broke, my back is shot
I have a second job
The engines are not making torque
I wish I flew the Saab
We wrote one up, the boss is mad
It's me he wants to fire
I should have stayed in dental school
The majors will not hire
The majors will not hire
The freon's out, the flows are bad
No yaw damper installed
The passengers are turning green
The new guy is appalled
The pressure spikes, the radar's shot
The brand new engine quit
I hope I live to tell the tale
Of a typical Jetstream trip
Aboard our tiny ship!
