USAIR and Freq. Flyer

On a topic related to annoying questions/comments to pilots, I was visiting my girlfriend at DFW and I had a question and was looking for an AA representative. My girlfriend suddenly turns to a pilot who was walking by (who wasn't an AA pilot) and asked him the question.

I aoplogized for her and had to explain to her that just because someone is in uniform, it doesn't mean they konw everything about every airport they fly into.

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Mahesh
 
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The reason that they are profitable for the airlines is that the airlines sell the miles to people like credit card companies, mortgage companies, rental car companies, and the like. And then they control the inventory so tightly that they force you to fly when they want you to -- on flights that would otherwise have empty seats.

I think -- not 100 percent sure -- that the guy who writes the Middle Seat for the Wall Street Journal did an article on that.

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Yeah, now they are marketing miles that you can use anytime. Using Joe Dirt in the ad.

You could be right. If so that 's great. Get it anywhere you can.
 
People can get very aggressive when they see a uniformed person. Some lady wanted to argue with me in Melbourne when I refused to load her bag in her car by the curb.

And if you don't know where baggage claim is, people literally look at you like you're an idiot.

Oh, even better. We land in Baltimore and we're completely short-staffed so we had a couple of unaccompanied minors waiting for their parents at the gate.

40 minutes later, no parents, so I took the initiative to grab the paperwork, call the parents on my personal telephone (couldn't dial long distance at the gate I guess) and see where they were.

Immediately, they started screaming at me on how long the security line is and how they couldn't get thru because they didn't have a boarding pass.

I let her know that she was able to go to the Delta ticket counter and they'll quickly issue her a 'gate pass' in order to come pick up her kid. Then I figured, I'll just walk the kid out to the security area and take car of it myself because she was a little belligerent.

So I grab the kid, walk out of security and the mother doesn't have her ID.

"Sorry ma'am, I really can't release XXX without an ID".

...A couple expletives and she walks out to her running car and walks back in with her ID, I do the procedure and she goes about her way, still cursing.

I really wanted to say "Hey lady, I'm just a pilot, I could have left your kid at the gate for a few hours until you got your sh*t together" but that wouldn't be consistent with customer service and here **I** was the one doing her a big favor by stepping far outside of my job scope and walking thru security on a short turn.

Flying boxes is sounding better 'n better.
 
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Top Ten passenger comments that annoy me while deadheading:
4. My (relative) is a pilot for (other airline), do you know him, he was in the Army Air Corps.
8. Why do they pay you so much because after all, can't the plane taxi, takeoff and land itself?
9. You must have a girlfriend in every station (?!)
10. Are you pilot or copilot? (followed by) When do you become a pilot? Don't you want to fly the airplane?


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Oh yeah! And don't forget more famous classics like:

21. So why can't I use my cell phone in flight? Does it really mess up the airplane?
22. So are you a member of the mile-high club?
23. Why does your (mine? I'm jumpseating, bizatch) airline charge so much for tickets out of the hub?
24. I'm instrument rated but would never fly an instrument approach down to minimums. How low do you go?

The people that piss me off the most are the "instant expert, just add other idiots" type. The ones who seem to know EVERYTHING about flying because they've watched that movie on Lifetime about the pilot who had 3 wives. Things like:

1. Guess they need to turn the cabin lights off so the pilots can see.
2. My cousin's second wife's sister's boyfriend's live-in housekeeper's neurologist said that any time they add power on a landing it's bad, so that landing was bad.
3. They're just flying slow so they can make more money.
4. That noise? Oh that's just the 14th-stage fetzer valve. I hear it all the time.
5. I'm a private pilot and know all about flying (no offense to you private pilots who do NOT claim to know it all).

I need to start writing all this crap down. Yes, Doug, flying boxes sounds WONDERFUL.
 
When I was sixteen, I used to run around the airports like, "Hey! What's the capital of Delaware? And could you tell me what 54.3 times 8 is? I'm trying to figure out this math problem and it's hard for me to multiply decimals in my head sometimes."

Pilot proceeds to look at me like I have three heads...

j/k. haha! I've seen that stuff in the past. Before a JetBlue flight when I was at JFK, this lady was yelling hysterically at a gate agent demanding that the gate agent do things she wasn't even trained to do. I forgot what it was, I think it had something to do with potatos (again kidding, but I did forget). Geez. People need to acquire a basic knowledge of the types of people who have anything to do with airports.

*Says to the ground crew, "I need to check in for my flight..."*

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Try reading this thread starting at the bottom and see if you can figure out what it was originally about before the top. It's making me dizzy.
No wait, that's the beer. Never mind. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/spin2.gif
 
When I was a 1900 FO, the captain and I got written up by a passenger for landing with the "mixture" control lean and obviously missed our "GUMP" check. And how the props weren't forward during landing.

Also on the 1900, an old fart lectured me about standing the in the arc of the propeller during deplaning because if the magneto was still charged, it could have 'kil't you dead if that PRO-peller kicked over'

And another 1900 story, we were starting the engines and 1900's had a bad problem with ignition 'bleed over' on the cockpit speakers that would loudly go "WAA WAAA WAWAWAWWAWWAAWAW" as the ignitors fired during engine start. A passenger ran up front and started arguing with the captain about the 'alarm' and how the engine was going to seize if he took off with the problem...
 
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Try reading this thread starting at the bottom and see if you can figure out what it was originally about before the top. It's making me dizzy.
No wait, that's the beer. Never mind. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/spin2.gif

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Thread creep, baby! Some of the best stuff sometimes is from the TC!
 
I love the stories you guys tell. Does that stuff happen every time. If so I think I'm going to have to fly boxes right away or I will flip out. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Tom
 
Unless somebody buys them out, liek wiht me I flew a LAX-JFK TWA flight, they counted my milage towards my AAdvantage miles/card... Diddnt US AIR already file for like 30 bankruptcies?
 
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When I was a 1900 FO, the captain and I got written up by a passenger for landing with the "mixture" control lean and obviously missed our "GUMP" check. And how the props weren't forward during landing.

Also on the 1900, an old fart lectured me about standing the in the arc of the propeller during deplaning because if the magneto was still charged, it could have 'kil't you dead if that PRO-peller kicked over'

And another 1900 story, we were starting the engines and 1900's had a bad problem with ignition 'bleed over' on the cockpit speakers that would loudly go "WAA WAAA WAWAWAWWAWWAAWAW" as the ignitors fired during engine start. A passenger ran up front and started arguing with the captain about the 'alarm' and how the engine was going to seize if he took off with the problem...

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/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/banghead.gif
 
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When I was a 1900 FO, the captain and I got written up by a passenger for landing with the "mixture" control lean and obviously missed our "GUMP" check. And how the props weren't forward during landing.

Also on the 1900, an old fart lectured me about standing the in the arc of the propeller during deplaning because if the magneto was still charged, it could have 'kil't you dead if that PRO-peller kicked over'

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Have you ever wondered how some people lived past the age of 2? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
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Have you ever wondered how some people lived past the age of 2? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

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I'm telling you, we are going to end up with Planet of the Apes. As the human race gets dumber due to lack of natural selection, and the apes get smarter...
 
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I'm telling you, we are going to end up with Planet of the Apes. As the human race gets dumber due to lack of natural selection, and the apes get smarter...

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Is that Harvey Danger's "Flagpole Sitta" I hear in the background? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif
 
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Have you ever wondered how some people lived past the age of 2? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

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I'm telling you, we are going to end up with Planet of the Apes. As the human race gets dumber due to lack of natural selection, and the apes get smarter...

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Well, if we teach the apes to be like humans, they'll kill themselves just as fast as we're killing ourselves!!!
 
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And another 1900 story, we were starting the engines and 1900's had a bad problem with ignition 'bleed over' on the cockpit speakers that would loudly go "WAA WAAA WAWAWAWWAWWAAWAW" as the ignitors fired during engine start. A passenger ran up front and started arguing with the captain about the 'alarm' and how the engine was going to seize if he took off with the problem...

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Ahh yes. I was non-revving back to "home" in WV one day on the Mighty Beech and listened to an instant expert inform his business cronies that the WAAWAAWAAWAAWAA was a signal to the pilots that they were clear to start engines. One or two of his colleagues looked at me, I smirked, and just shook my head.

Doug and Tenney will remember the famous Beech quotes:

1. What's the movie?
2. What's for lunch?
3. Are you sure it's going to make it?
4. Why are the pilots always holding hands on takeoff?
5. Are you the flight attendant?
6. I can't find my seatbelt (blue hair specialty).
7. Do you know if my bag is on board?
8. Can I go check to see if my bag is on board?

Nothing will ever top the whistle that the vent windows made if they didn't seal completely. I remember climbing off of PIT one day, hit that thing about 8 times before it shut up, but each time was a higher pitch. Good times, I tell ya.
 
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1. What's the movie?

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My answer was 'Well, if the captain elects to leave the cockpit door open, it's going to be "Flight Crew to Grand Rapids, part 12"

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2. What's for lunch?

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"Airport hotdog, you didn't get one back in Marquette?"

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3. Are you sure it's going to make it?

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"I was wondering the same thing myself!"

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4. Why are the pilots always holding hands on takeoff?

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"Aren't you going to say 'Not that there's anything wrong with that, right?"

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5. Are you the flight attendant?

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"Yeah, but I don't walk thru the cabin trick or treating with a trash bag!"

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6. I can't find my seatbelt (blue hair specialty).

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"I'll get an extension from the coat closet..."

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7. Do you know if my bag is on board?

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"Black, rectangular bag? Oh yeah, I saw it during the walkaround!"

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8. Can I go check to see if my bag is on board?

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"No! But you can pull the hatch down above seat 9B! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif"

I was only a 1900 driver for a little less than two years so I wasn't there long enough to get fired for my smug remarks!
 
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Also on the 1900, an old fart lectured me about standing the in the arc of the propeller during deplaning because if the magneto was still charged, it could have 'kil't you dead if that PRO-peller kicked over'

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That is one of the dumbest Old Wives Tales out there. The engine won't start unless the mixture is rich and the mag is sparking. No matter how many times you turn the prop. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/banghead.gif

Old radials had to be turned by hand durring preflight to check for hydraulic lock. On the really big engines this required several guys walking the prop blades through the bottom arc of their travel.
 
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