Once you fall in love with someone and get married, then you can talk to me about how much I need to lighten up.
If someone at that TSA brought my wife to tears like that because of a practical joke, they would feel lucky to lose their job and have their future wages garnished for the rest of their natural life in order to pay off the settlement from the law suit I'd throw at them. Because the alternative would be me taking them out in the woods and ending them. I am not kidding. Not even a little.