Thinking About Getting Back Into Flying.......

[I_Money]

So when I was 17 (almost ten years ago) I got my PPL and flew regularly. I had a great time, tore up the skies of Southern California in my 152, and impressed so many girls with my superb airmanship, they literally couldn't keep their hands off me!

I attended college in England where flying was considerably more expensive, and started to fly less, it was the beginning of the end. When I came back to the US, I never really flew regularly and although I flew occasionally for a year I never regained the confidence I had when fly 3 times a week, or could afford to fly regularly enough to accomplish it.

I would like to get back into aviation, there is a fantastic little soaring club by where we are moving, however my life has moved on from my flying days. My fiance (85 days till wife) has pteromerhanophobia, and although she will never say 'you can't' I know she will fret anytime I go flying. This has rubbed off on me, I vividly remember all those lucky moments (like seeing how high you can come in over the fence, and waiting too long to go around - landing in a rain storm where you can barely see out the canopy, however convince yourself it is VFR as behind you, you can see 5 miles), and rarely recall those flights of pure bliss.

Now I am not scared of flying though I am slightly more apprehensive about it, but what really worries me is if anything does happen the mess I will have left behind. As with any fiance/wife they will be devastated, however how much worse is it when they have an inner voice telling them not to let you go. One of my friends who flies for British Airways, and is a former record holding glider pilot has been told by his wife that until their children are over 18 he is only allowed to fly for work - he is certainly a better aviator than me, and does not disagree with his wife's decision saying flying is dangerous, and she does have valid concern.

I just don't know how to feel - part of me would enjoy flying, but I would not say my life would be incomplete without it, however I could be diagnosed with a terminal illness and be dead by thirty anyways so why not embrace a few more risks.

Please don't misconstrue this as a strict wife - yes she is the boss (no questions there), earns more money than me, however if I wanted to fly she would keep her fingers crossed and tell me to enjoy myself.

 

[braunpilot]

pteromerhanophobia, seriously too long of a word. I am a pilot, not a doctor.

For getting back into flying. I am a line pilot for a Part 135 company and there are times when my wife tells me that she wishes that I didn't have to fly that day. Well, that tends to be when the weather is bad and you don't have to look out the window to wonder why, you can usually hear it first. But the best way to look at this is you have the ability to hand pick the days that you do or do not want to fly. I fly Monday though Friday and unless I am going to go with another pilot that I know and trust I don't fly on the weekends for fun. I fly with my father-in-law, and a couple other people that is it. I don't do this because I don't like flying any more but I want to enjoy flying with the same kind of people that would enjoy it with me.

Like many people have told me here at JC that women are very strong but listen to them as well. They have a weird sensation about them of knowing when and when not to do something. (Hopefully I can pick up on that too!) Just tell her that you are considering it and you want her thoughts. If you have talked about it, sounds like you have before, tell her that if for some reason she has a feeling like you are going to have a accident or something worse REALLY bad that day that you would be willing to cancel the flight. My wife's peice of mind is worth ANY cancellation fees that I incur. I would rather spends 3x as much to enjoy the flight rather than have the fear in the back of my mind while flying that she is worried about me.

I hope it helps. Be safe and good luck.

 

[WacoFan]

Seriously, if you are concerned about the financial mess you would leave behind, buy some life insurance PRIOR to flying again. Most of the insurance applications that I have seen (and I have seen a lot, it is part of what I do) ask something like "have you flown as a pilot or crewmember within the last two years?". If you have not flown a small plane, or haven't been current in a small plane (able to log PIC) within the last two years, then you can honestly answer "no" and get the cheapest rate available (assuming your other health is in good working order). Once the insurance policy is in place and the policy is delivered, start flying. They cannot retroactively increase your premium - the insurer's are married to the decision they made at policy issuance (with the exception of fraud - be honest with them regarding currency, etc). Even if you HAVE flown within the last two years you can get insurance coverage, it just costs a little more. Overall term-life is incredibly cheap because life expectancies continue to rise and new Mortality Tables are reflecting this and lowering the price of life insurance. So, that is the easy answer to any concerns of what you would leave behind. Doing this allows you to leave lots of money behind if you croak.

 

[jrh]

For anyone like me who has to Google it....

Pteromerhanophobia = fear of flying


I know this might not help the OP much, but I'll say it for anyone else out there lurking...meeting a girl who doesn't like flying would be a deal breaker for me. That probably sounds harsh, but for me, it's the blunt truth. I've been in love with aviation for a lot longer than I've been in love with any girl, so whoever I get involved with will have to take the aviation along with me. It's a package deal. I could maybe adjust to flying less for some reason, like to save money or be home more, but giving it up entirely...no way. Giving it up would cause a lot of friction in the long run.

Also, the advice I give people and live by myself is to take up the craziest hobbies when you're single. That way the wife can't put a stop to all your fun later. I can't count the number of guys I run in to who want to do something but their wife won't let them.

For me, it's owning a plane, skydiving, and motorcycling. I'm still saving up for the motorcycle. As long as I get involved in those three things now, I'll be able to say, "Sorry, won't quit, you've known about this all along!" rather than have to pitch an idea to the wife about why I should be able to start something.

Hmmm...but then again, maybe this attitude is why I'm still single YMMV

 

[A300Capt]

My fiance (85 days till wife) has pteromerhanophobia,..

They probably have a cream for that but you might want to get yourself check out too.

Sorry...couldn't resist!

 

[I_Money]

Seriously, if you are concerned about the financial mess you would leave behind, buy some life insurance PRIOR to flying again.

It really isn't the financial mess but the emotional mess that worries me - my fiance is going into law school (with an interest in a very special niche) so I fully expect her to make considerably more than me.

Maybe it is young love - but she quite likes me.

meeting a girl who doesn't like flying would be a deal breaker for me.

She knew I had my pilots license but since I have known her I have only flown once (and she came along too).

It is funny as when I play polo she does not worry at all - even though I think polo is far more dangerous and runs the chance is being a paraplegic or similar - something aviation really doesn't.

Thanks A300Capt she has the noncontagious form with the only noticeable side effect of nymphomania - unfortunately there is no cure.

 

[pullup]

I smell a clingy, controlling girl here. You're really going to let her tell you what you can and can't do? I feel sorry for you and your "marriage". If you told her you were afraid of lawyers would she drop out of law school? Tell her to get some therapy and understand that she can't always protect you.

 

[WacoFan]

It really isn't the financial mess but the emotional mess that worries me - my fiance is going into law school (with an interest in a very special niche) so I fully expect her to make considerably more than me.

Maybe it is young love - but she quite likes me.

Worry about the financial mess - don't worry about the emotional mess. The financial mess is able to be calculated and measured - emotional things can not be, therefore don't waste time thinking about "maybes". Would she be any less devastated if you died in a car crash, sudden coronary or auto-erotic asphyxiation? Seriously - if flying "completes you", then that is more important. It is more dangerous than sitting on your couch eating and watching TV, but it is less dangerous than many things. Besides, when you start basing life decisions based upon the emotional impact that uncertain future events may have upon your woman of choice you are going down a slippery path and will never really win. Women tend to be more emotionally based. Perhaps now flying is what scares her. What will it be tomorrow? The list will continue to increase until you are incapable of doing anything. Seriously, don't live your life in such a way that you subordinate your desires to please your significant other - it will make you both miserable in the end.

 

[I_Money]

I smell a clingy, controlling girl here. You're really going to let her tell you what you can and can't do? I feel sorry for you and your "marriage". If you told her you were afraid of lawyers would she drop out of law school? Tell her to get some therapy and understand that she can't always protect you.

I smell someone who lacks basic comprehension - you clearly don't have the foundation of the English language to understand my post.

Worry about the financial mess - don't worry about the emotional mess. The financial mess is able to be calculated and measured - emotional things can not be, therefore don't waste time thinking about "maybes". Would she be any less devastated if you died in a car crash, sudden coronary or auto-erotic asphyxiation? Seriously - if flying "completes you", then that is more important. It is more dangerous than sitting on your couch eating and watching TV, but it is less dangerous than many things. Besides, when you start basing life decisions based upon the emotional impact that uncertain future events may have upon your woman of choice you are going down a slippery path and will never really win. Women tend to be more emotionally based. Perhaps now flying is what scares her. What will it be tomorrow? The list will continue to increase until you are incapable of doing anything. Seriously, don't live your life in such a way that you subordinate your desires to please your significant other - it will make you both miserable in the end.

But the problem is flying does not complete me - if it did it would be an easy decision. I think it would be enjoyable but I can say if I was diagnosed with a terminal illness at 30 I would not think, I wish I flew more. To turn it around, if I was flying and had a structural failure in flight and was spiral down to the ground I would be furious - but too late to do anything about it then.

This isn't a case of my wife being controlling - she suggested I should look into becoming a flight nurse, knowing I will enjoy it. All I am trying to do is incorporate her feelings into a decision I am making. I do not think her list will get longer, she was involved in an emergency landing when she was younger and traveling on her own - she is a pretty level headed girl.

 

[t-cart]

Do you think she would ride with you if you got recurrent?

 

[Qgar]

Here's a woman's opinion. If you want to do something in your life which makes you happy, as long as it's legal, your mate should be supportive. She/he doesn't have to like it, but should love you enough to let you do something that makes you a more complete, happy individual. Does she really want you to go through life being unfulfilled and miserable? Speaking for myself--I KNOW I'm no fun to be around if I'm unfulfilled and am discouraged from doing something that makes me happy. She may be afraid of the flying, but as others have previously stated, you can die in a million other ways. Life is extremely short and goes by quicker the older you get--so you really should enjoy the hell out of it. :nana2:

 

[ctab5060X]

Here's a woman's opinion. If you want to do something in your life which makes you happy, as long as it's legal, your mate should be supportive. She/he doesn't have to like it, but should love you enough to let you do something that makes you a more complete, happy individual. Does she really want you to go through life being unfulfilled and miserable? Speaking for myself--I KNOW I'm no fun to be around if I'm unfulfilled and am discouraged from doing something that makes me happy. She may be afraid of the flying, but as others have previously stated, you can die in a million other ways. Life is extremely short and goes by quicker the older you get--so you really should enjoy the hell out of it. :nana2:

:yeahthat: x a bunch....

My wife doesn't like it some days when I have to fly, but she accepts it. She doesn't mind me flying outside of work either because she knows that flying is a part of me, and that it keeps me happier than if I wasn't flying. Me being happier in turn makes her happier and makes a happier relationship.

By all means, go for it.

 

[WacoFan]

Perhaps sign her up for a lesson. Let her fly the plane and it would maybe be fun for her. It may also get her over any trepidation she has. Have her fly with an instructor - not you - that way she won't feel self conscious about her performance on her flight lesson. You may luck out and she totally digs it - which would allow you to fly, but also allow you as a couple to have a shared hobby.

 

[Joe Gremlin]

I fly, my wife dives, we both ski. We also both operate motor vehicles on the highways and byways of this great land daily. Any one of those things could kill either of us but we're not going to stop doing any them just because it could turn out to be fatal.

I think it helps that my wife dives and we both ski. It means that she clearly understands what its like to do something because you enjoy it even though its an activity which kills people every year. As such I'm sure she's concerned when I go flying, but no more or less so than I am when she dives. I know that she is a skilled, conservative and safe diver and she knows that I am the same when I fly. If you could find a way show your wife that you're a conservative and safe pilot, it might help ease her concerns a bit.

Also, I would encourage you to explore soaring as it offers several advantages to someone in your position. First is cost. It's cheaper which is never a bad thing. But I also think that soaring is much more about basic stick and rudder skills than droning along in a C172 tends to be. This can be good for someone like yourself who has been out of the cockpit for a while and wants to get back in on a part time basis as it forces you to reinforce the basic stick and rudder stuff on every flight. There are other advantages for the occasional recreational pilot as well. You tend to only fly when the weather is favorable and most gliders have a stall speed that allows you to put them down almost anywhere.

It's a pretty cheap and relatively safe way to get in the air. And I defy you not to scream out loud like a school girl seeing the Beatles in '64 the first time you're climbing in a thermal at 1000fpm with no engine.

 

[drunkenbeagle]

To turn it around, if I was flying and had a structural failure in flight and was spiral down to the ground I would be furious - but too late to do anything about it then.

Structural failures in flight are about as common as spontaneous human combustion. I'm more afraid of dying from electrical strikes on a golf course than a wing falling off of an airplane.

 

[Qgar]

Perhaps sign her up for a lesson. Let her fly the plane and it would maybe be fun for her. It may also get her over any trepidation she has. Have her fly with an instructor - not you - that way she won't feel self conscious about her performance on her flight lesson. You may luck out and she totally digs it - which would allow you to fly, but also allow you as a couple to have a shared hobby.

You know I love ya, Waco, but I don't agree with letting her fly a plane. If she's afraid, she's afraid. I'm terrified of those insane, death-defying amusement park rides. anic: You couldn't pay me enough to get on one--or hold a gun to my head to encourage it. A fear, however irrational, is a fear. Now if she was "curious" about flight, that'd be a whole different story.
BTW, my twins LOVE those rides. I have my heart in my mouth whenever I'm at a park with them and they're on one. I let them do it, though, since it makes them happy.

 

[drunkenbeagle]

It's a pretty cheap and relatively safe way to get in the air. And I defy you not to scream out loud like a school girl seeing the Beatles in '64 the first time you're climbing in a thermal at 1000fpm with no engine.

I just started soaring, highly recommend it. Dirt cheap, visibility is awesome, and as mentioned, you can land a glider almost anywhere.

Vso on a glider is pretty close to a Cessna though. Actually, the L-13 I flew last week stalled at 31kts. The POH for the C152 lists Vso at 31kts! (most aft CG)

 

[pullup]

I would like to get back into aviation, there is a fantastic little soaring club by where we are moving, however my life has moved on from my flying days. My fiance (85 days till wife) has pteromerhanophobia, and although she will never say 'you can't' I know she will fret anytime I go flying.

She has the fear, not you.

Now I am not scared of flying though I am slightly more apprehensive about it, but what really worries me is if anything does happen the mess I will have left behind. As with any fiance/wife they will be devastated, however how much worse is it when they have an inner voice telling them not to let you go.

Her irrational fears shouldn't be a hinderence on your happiness.

Please don't misconstrue this as a strict wife - yes she is the boss (no questions there)

Root of the problem found.


You don't have to like my response but so what. You are being controlled, whether you like it or not. You are not playing russian roulette, you are controlling an aircraft for which you are licensed and have years of experience in. SHE needs some help to get over, or to be at peace, with HER fear of flying. Don't let anyone guilt you into not enjoying yourself, life's too short.

 

[Qgar]

If you "give in" to HER fear, you may be able to deal with it temporarily. Trust me though, if you're like most people you will end up with a lot of deep-seated resentment as the years pass. This will make for a very unhappy and unhealthy relationship in the long run. I'm not normally a big fan of counseling, but in this case a neutral party might be able to get her to see that a unfulfilled and unhappy spouse is a cancer to a relationship.
If you are forced to give up your dream, please realize that everytime you hear or see a plane overhead, you will look at it and feel sadness. This will fester in you and you will always think, "what if."

 

[Kristie]

Here's a woman's opinion. If you want to do something in your life which makes you happy, as long as it's legal, your mate should be supportive. She/he doesn't have to like it, but should love you enough to let you do something that makes you a more complete, happy individual. Does she really want you to go through life being unfulfilled and miserable? Speaking for myself--I KNOW I'm no fun to be around if I'm unfulfilled and am discouraged from doing something that makes me happy. She may be afraid of the flying, but as others have previously stated, you can die in a million other ways. Life is extremely short and goes by quicker the older you get--so you really should enjoy the hell out of it. :nana2:

:yeahthat: you only live once Iain! Enjoy it with compromise!