Think before you speak...

I find it really hard to say "sit back-relax and enjoy the flight" to a plane full of Spirit passengers without cracking up. Surely that's a form of torture?

My god it is awful. And then, I get to fight with accounting about paying a bag fee, because they can't believe it would cost $100 for a carry on.
 
I find it really hard to say "sit back-relax and enjoy the flight" to a plane full of Spirit passengers without cracking up. Surely that's a form of torture?
Yeah, 'cause Spirit charges extra for every announcement. Double charge for evac announcements.
 
Ok Mr. @Autothrust Blue here goes:

Riding around on other airlines lately, and made an observation. I dunno, maybe the cold, dark months of winter have gotten to me, but...
- "Hello ladies and gentlemen. Welcome aboard flight 5735 service to XYZ..."

Nobody cares about what the flight number is. They are on the plane that is taking them to Cleveland. That's all they care.

Somewhat true but if you're at one of the wonderful multiple flight regional gates where you're boarding from the ramp, some people like confirmation.

- "..skies are broken at 1,500 feet."

Nobody has any idea what a "broken sky" is. Quit reading the ATIS when giving the weather info. If you must tell them the weather (see below) give them the 6pm news version. "Cool, breezy and mostly cloudy. Temps in the mid 50's."

Good advice. It's cloudy, partly cloudy or sunny. You're not going to see the sun, you'll see it or hey, break out the sunglasses.

- If you're going into a hub- why even give a full weather report? 95% of the people you are carrying are connections and will never see the outside. That, and a good chunk of them are on the wifi and can look that info up (if desired) while enroute.

Not necessarily true. Not everyone is a millennial with his or her head buried into a smartphone. It's also the only chance some adults get to disconnect and now be screaming "LEADS! LEADS! GOT ANY LEADS!" electronically to all your coworkers.

- "Sit back-relax-and enjoy the flight" cliche.

Really? They're crammed in the seat now. Someone next to them took off their shoes. The seats/tray table/carpets are filthy. It's not 1950 anymore (unfortunately) and this is no longer a magical and privileged experience. It's hell. "We're going to get you there and get you out of this airplane as quickly as possible" would be better received.

I don't work for an airline like that. Our passengers are generally pretty ecstatic to be onboard and I want to keep them happy. If the plane is dirty, I've failed as a captain if I don't address it. I am extremely serious about this and have made the "Must Kill First During the Fog of The Revolution" list in MSP.

- "Hello everyone- Captain Bob from the flight deck..."

Don't tell them your name. They don't care.

I do. It means there's a living person up front who is taking responsibility for the success or failure of the operation. That's my style.

They also don't care if you flew for the Navy/Air Force/Merchant Marine/Salvation Army/whatever. They don't care what the combined flight time of the pilots are. They don't care.

That is a little creepy when guys say that and it's not how I roll, but whatever.

What they do care about is quiet, which you are interrupting. The PA's are loud, and on some airplanes you're pausing their movie or live TV link.

2200 to 0800 keep the PA's to an absolute minimum, in flight, except for those that are absolutely required by the FOM. If it's a flight with personal monitors, I'm generally pretty quiet.
 
One of my favorites was at the A gates in IAD when the wife got on our plane and the husband got on the RJ next to us (and they departed). I still posit the girlfriend was on board our neighbor.
 
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Thank god I fly for a place that subscribes to the ideals that FOs should be seen but not heard.

Wait -- we all ready had the discussion a couple years ago on here about how terrible the CRM and safety must be at an outfit where only the Captain can use the PA....right?

</sarcasm>
 
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