The Most Embarrassing Private Jet Flight of All times
- Thread starter Screaming_Emu
- Start date
Flysher
Well-Known Member
I can vouch for this first hand, it also helps to fly for a company that isnt approved for GPS approaches. NOS books are full of GPS charts, they aren't the best TP... but they work...
Sol Rosenburg
Well-Known Member
drove the sweeper for five years, I cried when I read those
Screaming_Emu
Joe Conventional
Also a good read for those who haven't yet http://4dayfollies.com
ChasenSFO
hen teaser
Now I know how I'm going to spend the next few hours. Luckily, I've never had an "oh crap" moment like that flying GA. In fact, I've only had to "go" once on an airliner ever. Once. And here's the story.
It was the day after @JordanD's 21st bday where we spent a night partying in St. Maarten. My drunkeness was NJC squared, I had an undercooked local burger for dinner, and when we got back to the room I decided a dozen glasses of local water was the best way to deal with my cotton mouth. The next day is a hilarious story best left for my blog. But to sum it up, I laid out on the rocks on Maho beach wishing for a swift death until it was time to head to the airport. I got first class on United on the 4 hour flight up to Newark. There were only 4 of us up there, all employees, and the flight attendant was pretty much baby sitting me by no request of mine. This tells me I looked like death. Now, maybe it was the meal which I could do nothing but stare at, maybe it was the fact I was trying to watch "The Rise of the Planet of the Apes" and only the Spanish audio was working and the screen was in a psychedelic flicker, or maybe it was the sip of sprite I managed to take. Whatever the case, I got the sudden urge to explode from both ends. I stand up, the F/A makes eye-contact with me, rushes towards the lav and opens the door for me. I dry heave, manage to hold it down, and then assume the position in the lav. Instantaneously, I'm lifted off the seat, slam back down, and hit my head on the wall, leaving much evidence of my motions in the lav around me. The plane is shaking just as violently as the many substances consumed the night before are exiting me. I hear the seatbelt chime, then a PA "San Juan vectored us into a tropical storm, everybody return to your seats immediately, F/A's stow the carts now". Then the F/A slaps the lav really hard and shouts "STAY IN THERE!". The next few minutes had all the sensations of riding an inter tube down an elaborate water slide. When it was all over and the chop was light, I had my Dumb and Dumberer like realization. It was everywhere. I spent the next 10-15 minutes cleaning my mess, the best I could anyway. Again, there were only 3 other pax in first class, all UA employees, and all in the first 2 rows in front of the lav. When I walk out, all eyes are on me, waiting for me to say something I felt like. As is the theme of this thread, all I could do was look at the F/A and say "I'm sorry". Then as I returned to my seat, without so much as bothering to take a peak into the lav, the F/A asked the other 3 pax one by one to use the aft lavs for the rest of the flight. About 20 minutes later, the CA came out to use the lav, the F/A told him he had to use the aft lav, he quickly scanned the 4 of us, narrowed his search down to me, and shook his head making eye contact with me as he walked through the cabin to the back. Not long after, I got a piercing pain in my ears that lasted all through the next 6 hour flight from EWR-SFO tucked in my middle seat. I had to call in sick to work the next 4 days in a row and make 2 doctor visits.
I'm in no hurry to use the lav in an airliner again.
It was the day after @JordanD's 21st bday where we spent a night partying in St. Maarten. My drunkeness was NJC squared, I had an undercooked local burger for dinner, and when we got back to the room I decided a dozen glasses of local water was the best way to deal with my cotton mouth. The next day is a hilarious story best left for my blog. But to sum it up, I laid out on the rocks on Maho beach wishing for a swift death until it was time to head to the airport. I got first class on United on the 4 hour flight up to Newark. There were only 4 of us up there, all employees, and the flight attendant was pretty much baby sitting me by no request of mine. This tells me I looked like death. Now, maybe it was the meal which I could do nothing but stare at, maybe it was the fact I was trying to watch "The Rise of the Planet of the Apes" and only the Spanish audio was working and the screen was in a psychedelic flicker, or maybe it was the sip of sprite I managed to take. Whatever the case, I got the sudden urge to explode from both ends. I stand up, the F/A makes eye-contact with me, rushes towards the lav and opens the door for me. I dry heave, manage to hold it down, and then assume the position in the lav. Instantaneously, I'm lifted off the seat, slam back down, and hit my head on the wall, leaving much evidence of my motions in the lav around me. The plane is shaking just as violently as the many substances consumed the night before are exiting me. I hear the seatbelt chime, then a PA "San Juan vectored us into a tropical storm, everybody return to your seats immediately, F/A's stow the carts now". Then the F/A slaps the lav really hard and shouts "STAY IN THERE!". The next few minutes had all the sensations of riding an inter tube down an elaborate water slide. When it was all over and the chop was light, I had my Dumb and Dumberer like realization. It was everywhere. I spent the next 10-15 minutes cleaning my mess, the best I could anyway. Again, there were only 3 other pax in first class, all UA employees, and all in the first 2 rows in front of the lav. When I walk out, all eyes are on me, waiting for me to say something I felt like. As is the theme of this thread, all I could do was look at the F/A and say "I'm sorry". Then as I returned to my seat, without so much as bothering to take a peak into the lav, the F/A asked the other 3 pax one by one to use the aft lavs for the rest of the flight. About 20 minutes later, the CA came out to use the lav, the F/A told him he had to use the aft lav, he quickly scanned the 4 of us, narrowed his search down to me, and shook his head making eye contact with me as he walked through the cabin to the back. Not long after, I got a piercing pain in my ears that lasted all through the next 6 hour flight from EWR-SFO tucked in my middle seat. I had to call in sick to work the next 4 days in a row and make 2 doctor visits.
I'm in no hurry to use the lav in an airliner again.
Last edited:
Boris Badenov
This is no laughing matter.
Ah, youth!
Similar threads
