They're cracking me up too! If you think you have worries now, wait until they're older. Wait till you have to wonder what is going on whenever you leave town! God knows what I might find when I get back to San Francisco tomorrow night!
Terrible 2's...
- Thread starter MusketeerMan
- Start date
They're cracking me up too! If you think you have worries now, wait until they're older. Wait till you have to wonder what is going on whenever you leave town! God knows what I might find when I get back to San Francisco tomorrow night!
ready2fly
Well-Known Member
We tried to avoid Barney like the plague (as it is my personal belief that Barney is Satan incarnateOh, we've put the nix on Barney. Unfortunately, they read Barney at day care, so he sees him on the screen for a commercial and starts saying "Barneee! Barnee!"
That's when we have to go digging through our Disney classics vault. Barney? Nah, F that. We've got Mickey Mouse in black and white!
Stan, I think Gavin says "Miiiiine" more than anything else.
). HOWEVER....some wiseazz bought him a Barney DVD when he turned one.He had no interest in it until one day - POOF - "I wanna watch BARNEEEEEEY!"
Huh?
"Watch Barney, pweeassse???"
Ummm...okay......(crap!).
Now he's hooked, so what does my freakin' MOTHER do???? Buys the kid MORE Barney DVDs!
So now we get to hear "Wanna watch NEW Barneeeeey! ZOO! Am-i-nals! BARNEEEEEY!"
:banghead:
NotCoolEnufToFly
Well-Known Member
I'm serious. This is the most entertaining thread I've read in a long time.
I don't have kids but I'll share a story anyways... My neice, Gracie, is 4 1/2 now and we're very close. She LOVES her auntie Pam. So a couple of weeks ago, I was working very very hard on getting the new place together and hadn't seen her in about a week (long time for us) so my mom swung her by as I was finishing up some major painting in the new place with no electricity, which means no air, which means auntie Pam was a mess. I loaded her in the car and drove back to the other apartment so I could shower and change. On the way I hear,
"Aunt Pam, you stink."
"I know Gracie, aunt Pam's been working hard, but I'm about to get a shower."
She holds her nose and says, "Well, I do like this until you done."
Kids are so honest... to a fault!
ready2fly
Well-Known Member
Well...Pam....I've been meaning to talk to you about thaaat......."Aunt Pam, you stink."
"I know Gracie, aunt Pam's been working hard, but I'm about to get a shower."
She holds her nose and says, "Well, I do like this until you done."
Kids are so honest... to a fault!
KIDDING!! I kid. I'm a kidder....it's what I do.
ready2fly
Well-Known Member
I think Barney would be a tad more tolerable....and MUCH more entertaining ...if he had an edge to him....sort of a Goodfella sort of rap. Example:
Farmer Dooley: Why hello, Barney! Is that you???
Barney: No, redneck! I'm freakin' Dino Flintstone. Who the #### do you think it is ya freakin' mook?
Farmer Dooley: Well, gee, Barney...sure is good to see you!
Barney: Bite me, Dooley, you freakin' MO-ron!
Farmer Dooley: And who do you have with you today? Is that Baby Bop & B.J.?
Barney: What - are you freakin dumb AND blind, you freakin' dolt! Yeah! It's Baby Bop. Don't be lookin' at my kid that way, ya freakin' Chester! And B.J......that's not a name - it's a job! You freakin' pre-vert!
Okay....I'm done.
That felt good. :bandit:
Farmer Dooley: Why hello, Barney! Is that you???
Barney: No, redneck! I'm freakin' Dino Flintstone. Who the #### do you think it is ya freakin' mook?
Farmer Dooley: Well, gee, Barney...sure is good to see you!
Barney: Bite me, Dooley, you freakin' MO-ron!
Farmer Dooley: And who do you have with you today? Is that Baby Bop & B.J.?
Barney: What - are you freakin dumb AND blind, you freakin' dolt! Yeah! It's Baby Bop. Don't be lookin' at my kid that way, ya freakin' Chester! And B.J......that's not a name - it's a job! You freakin' pre-vert!
Okay....I'm done.
That felt good. :bandit:
NotCoolEnufToFly
Well-Known Member
Well...Pam....I've been meaning to talk to you about thaaat.......
KIDDING!! I kid. I'm a kidder....it's what I do.
LMFAO... Gee stan, you're never this funny in person!
NotCoolEnufToFly
Well-Known Member
I think Barney would be a tad more tolerable....and MUCH more entertaining ...if he had an edge to him....sort of a Goodfella sort of rap. Example:
Farmer Dooley: Why hello, Barney! Is that you???
Barney: No, redneck! I'm freakin' Dino Flintstone. Who the #### do you think it is ya freakin' mook?
Farmer Dooley: Well, gee, Barney...sure is good to see you!
Barney: Bite me, Dooley, you freakin' MO-ron!
Farmer Dooley: And who do you have with you today? Is that Baby Bop & B.J.?
Barney: What - are you freakin dumb AND blind, you freakin' dolt! Yeah! It's Baby Bop. Don't be lookin' at my kid that way, ya freakin' Chester! And B.J......that's not a name - it's a job! You freakin' pre-vert!
Okay....I'm done.
That felt good. :bandit:
I HATE Barney. I do not allow it in my home.
P.S. Your signature line... Are those the people who's fanclub you belong to or is that a list of people who are in your fanclub? If the latter, then add my name. I'm a HUGE Stanfan!
TheWife
New Member
I guess I got lucky. I personally hate age 9-18 months. Before that is easier, after that is easier. I really would like someone else to raise my kids from 9-18 months though. I HATE that age. I hate the "I have to feed myself, but I can't so you'll have to mop the floor and the ceiling when I'm done here" phase. I hate the "I insist on walking but I suck at it for now, so I'm going to fall a lot, but I'll refuse to hold your hand cause I can do it myself, and it will take 45 minutes to walk across the parking lot because I'm slow, but if you pick me up and don't let me do it myself, I'll scream so loud people will think you're kidnapping me." And I hate the "I can talk now, but only mom understands what I'm saying, which means, mom is who has to do everything for me now because no one else knows what I mean." And the whole "I want to play by myself, but you must be within 2 feet of my line of vision at all times, or you'll regret it". Yeah, after 9-18 months, I find age two to be TERRIFIC!
NotCoolEnufToFly
Well-Known Member
I guess I got lucky. I personally hate age 9-18 months. Before that is easier, after that is easier. I really would like someone else to raise my kids from 9-18 months though. I HATE that age. I hate the "I have to feed myself, but I can't so you'll have to mop the floor and the ceiling when I'm done here" phase. I hate the "I insist on walking but I suck at it for now, so I'm going to fall a lot, but I'll refuse to hold your hand cause I can do it myself, and it will take 45 minutes to walk across the parking lot because I'm slow, but if you pick me up and don't let me do it myself, I'll scream so loud people will think you're kidnapping me." And I hate the "I can talk now, but only mom understands what I'm saying, which means, mom is who has to do everything for me now because no one else knows what I mean." And the whole "I want to play by myself, but you must be within 2 feet of my line of vision at all times, or you'll regret it". Yeah, after 9-18 months, I find age two to be TERRIFIC!
Seriously, this is the best thread in the history of JC.
I love that age Michelle. I know it's different because I'm not a mommy yet myself but as much as I've been around children that's always been my favorite age.
Infants are too fussy and you have to worry about poppy diapers and feeding them every 5 minutes. And when they're that little they of course can't talk so anytime they need you for anything they cry.
I love the just now walking, just now talking, trying to use the potty on my own and feed myself age. Because that's also the age where you first get to hear them say, "I love you." They're old enough that when you tell them to do something they can understand what you are saying but not too old that they don't still fear you and respond with, "No, hehehe." With my neices (can't speak for all kids) at that age spankings and time outs were actually effective. Gracie was a bit of a clean freak, so she was really good at feeding herself. When I would take her out, people would always be so impressed with the little 11mon old who could and would use a napkin properly. She hated for her clothes to have food on them.
And now she's 4 1/2 and she's still cute as a button and my favorite person in the whole world, but now she thinks it's really funny to watch Aunt Pam get frustrated when I'm doing something she's already been told not to do a million times. Now she wants to dress herself in ridiculous clothes and throws a fit when I will not allow her to go out like that. Now she wants me to buy her every purse or pair of shoes she sees. Now she dictates what's on tv every second that she's awake. Now she climbs up on the counter to brush her teeth by herself instead of giving me 5 minutes to finish taking the dog out and walk upstairs. lol I find this time to still be joy but for me, it's much more frustrating than those 9-18mon days when she just wanted me to pay her some attention and everything I said was the gospel.
Of course, I haven't had my own yet. I'll get back to you when I do!
Minnesota_Flyer
New Member
I guess I got lucky. I personally hate age 9-18 months. Before that is easier, after that is easier. I really would like someone else to raise my kids from 9-18 months though. I HATE that age. I hate the "I have to feed myself, but I can't so you'll have to mop the floor and the ceiling when I'm done here" phase. I hate the "I insist on walking but I suck at it for now, so I'm going to fall a lot, but I'll refuse to hold your hand cause I can do it myself, and it will take 45 minutes to walk across the parking lot because I'm slow, but if you pick me up and don't let me do it myself, I'll scream so loud people will think you're kidnapping me." And I hate the "I can talk now, but only mom understands what I'm saying, which means, mom is who has to do everything for me now because no one else knows what I mean." And the whole "I want to play by myself, but you must be within 2 feet of my line of vision at all times, or you'll regret it". Yeah, after 9-18 months, I find age two to be TERRIFIC!
We were in Lowe's one day, and The Boy was really acting up -- climbing in and under shelving, screaming, trying to pull things off the shelves, general mayhem -- so I finally picked him up and told him to stop or we would go to the car. As I was telling him this, he bit me on the shoulder. So I said we were going to the car, I set him down and started force-marching him out of the store. On the way out, after he tried and failed to get him to pick him up again, he starts looking right at people as we passed them and saying, "Help," "Help me." It would have been quite funny if I wasn't already ready to kill him.
To be fair, he's usually very well behaved in stores. This was just a bad day.
Barney is of the devil.
NotCoolEnufToFly
Well-Known Member
:yup:
For someone who doesn't have kids, I sure am dominating this thread! Oh well... here's another story.
I took my neice, Shai (now 8), to Chuck E. Cheese one Saturday when she was about 5 and I sat in a booth were I could keep an eye on her and let her play in the balls on her own. I noticed that she was talking to some lady quite a bit and wondered what she was telling her as the lady looked quite concerned. I went over to find out what was going on and the lady asked if I knew 'this little girl.' I told her that I was her aunt and asked why. She tells me that she was very worried because Shai had told her that she was there by herself, didn't have a mommy and daddy and all this other crazy stuff. I found out that day that I have a scam artist for a neice. Apparently she was trying to get tokens out of this nice lady! :whatever:
OMG, that is the best thing I've heard all day. :laff:
But you know what? I guarantee you every parent in the place was probably busting a gut once you were out of sight! They all knew what was going on
I've left stores because of my twos' behavior too. Not very often, they're usually pretty good, but they have their days. I've not yet done Chuck E Cheese or anything like that with them. My cousin used to take her twins there, but then they got really sick from playing in/on the equipment there (other parents bringing sick kids in to play :banghead: ). So I've been leery of those kinds of places.
Maximilian_Jenius
Super User
That's not unusual!
I have no kids, and probably won't. But my sister raised most of my neices and nephews.
Not sure if this would work for everyone. But when they (my neices and nephews) threw fits when they were younger, and she either didn't want to spank or for whatever reason. she'd allow them to continue their tantrum.
Sometimes pulling up a seat, reading a book, watching t.v., ignoring them, watching them as she said being silly, or leaving the room.
They'd either get so tired of throwing themselfes out and making a ruckus and no one coming to their aid that they'd stop. Or stop and go find her to find out why she wasn't rushing to find out what the matter was.
It was classic!
kellwolf
Piece of Trash
If you ask a family member (like say, your mother-in-law) to watch your kid while he's on the playground equipment at the zoo, make sure they actually WATCH them. Don't let them decide it'll be a better idea to go take pictures of the OTHER grandkids while the toddler is playing on the equipment that's 5 feet tall.
At least it wasn't a leg this time. He can still go to daycare with a broken arm....
At least it wasn't a leg this time. He can still go to daycare with a broken arm....
No effing way!
OMG I'd be furious. I'm sure they wouldn't ever mean to let harm happen, but you CAN'T leave a 2 1/2 year old alone on playground equipment! He's the same as my little guy, and he's watched constantly while on a playground!
ready2fly
Well-Known Member
YIKES!!!
This is the reason that R2F2 will NOT be staying with the grandparents until he's somewhat self-efficient. There's NO way my mother, my father or my mother-in-law can keep up with him.
1. My father is in a wheelchair;
2. My mother fell two days after my son was born and shattered her left arm and leg and has very limited ROM even to this day;
3. My mother-in-law has zero patience and "cute" wears off on her in 5 minutes and she becomes downright mean.
That said.....
Steve, dude, sorry ya'll are having a rough year or so. Buck up though. It's gonna get better!
kellwolf
Piece of Trash
Yeah, we're just taking it all in stride. We're more or less on a first name basis with most of the nurses at the children's hospital here. First the leg, then tubes in the ear, now the arm. Luckily, we have health insurance. Otherwise, this would be costing us an ARM and a LEG.
ready2fly
Well-Known Member
Good deal, bro. Take it in stride. It could be worse!Yeah, we're just taking it all in stride. We're more or less on a first name basis with most of the nurses at the children's hospital here. First the leg, then tubes in the ear, now the arm. Luckily, we have health insurance. Otherwise, this would be costing us an ARM and a LEG.
Example:
I personally know a boy who in the span of one year did the following:
1. Age 1.5 Tried to stand on beach ball at home= broke right leg just below hip = traction & body cast; That healed then...
2. Age 2 (ish) fell on a wet staircase at home = broke right leg just below knee = full leg cast; That healed then....
3. Age 2.5 jumped off the bottom two stairs (or was pushed) at church = broke right leg just above ankle= walking cast; while that was healing..
4. Was chasing balloon that doctor provided, cast got caught on carpet and VOILA = stictches above right eye as head collided with corner of coffee table (stiches were free as a "gift" from the doctor)
How do I know this child??? I AM that child!! :bandit:
Had Child Protective Services or whatever it's called been active when I was a child, I would have been raised by someone else.
So, you see, bro....I WILL get better.