This is a good post, I like reading it. Best of all I understand it.
I'll open up a bit and admit some personal sh-t, that, well... I've been depressed, recently even a bit bitter. Depressed, but not having depression, i.e. clinical depression, there's a stark difference. So, I guess that means that I'm on track to be a good pilot. right? (insert laugh track) Like
@ZapBrannigan I've had a lot of bad luck in aviation, but more so with a lot of disappointments and failed starts. I started this journey in 2001, got my PPL, then 911 happened. Tried to restart again in 2007/2008 and well, we all remember what happened then. Got back into aviation again in 2018, then COVID happened. Just one bad thing after another. I actually had a time building job, with an aerial survey company post "graduation" from primary flight school, circa May 2020. But that was the height of COVID and they shuttered classes indefinitely. Then my flight school closed down temporarily due to COVID, so I wasn't able to start my instructor ratings. I returned home.
Now there's no 200 hr CFI's at any of the schools here in PHX, they all went to the regionals. So the chief pilot is now in the role of CFI instructor, at some of local schools, but he/she only one person. Creating a back log/wait list. One school in the valley has an eight month wait list currently. Then there's the national DPE shortages. Captain shortages at the regionals, flooding the industry with 1500 hr. FO's, or FO candidates. Lots of competition out there at many levels in aviation from lowtime jobs to regional FO. Also the very real risk of a furlough in the future with my luck, if I can actually even get my foot in the door finally. I don't know if it was entitlement on my part or not, honestly I go back and forth on the topic. But I finally thought that it was my time in 2018 after a lot of repeated misstarts. But I returned back home to AZ. feeling rather sullen and defeated. I was in quite a glut. It's definitely colored my thinking a lot, I've thought about just giving it all up, due to all the constant road blocks put in my path, that maybe aviation isn't for me. But I'd like to think that I wasn't a quitter, so I press forward. Especially after my nearly $100k investment in this career as you mentioned and the repeated failures/miss starts that I've experienced along the way in the past fifteen years.
Family and friends calling/texting me asking me constantly about my progress, or the lack there of. Asking me why aren't you a CFI yet? You're not an airline pilot yet? Insinuating that I'm making excuses for my lack of moment currently, that I'm not trying hard enough, or that I'm lazy, or unmotivated. That I better hurry up, or that my dream will be dead, yeah that isn't exactly helping either. There's been a glut of that lately saying that they're doing it because they care and just want to see me succeed. But their love and motivation seems more like a •ing blunt instrument at times. I'm a career changer, but I didn't change my career like I'd hoped, still working an hourly job in psych and I definitely didn't have $200k in savings to knock everything out all at once, unfortunately. Congrats to those that did. A then 19 yr. old kid I was in school with in UT. just got hired at a legacy, his family paid for his time building and he was in the right place at the right time as a result to get a 135 jet job flying a PC-24. That's life though and you can't compare your situation to others, it will eat you. I'm a career changer that's paying as I go. I work 70-80 hrs. a week to do just that. Its an Ouroboros, really. I have to work a lot to save money to fly, which means that I can't fly a lot, or as much as people expect. People don't seem to really get it it, it can really be super frustrating. But some of the people wishing me well aren't seeing the daily blood, sweat, gring and tears put in at work to help make this dream happen and finally become a reality. Or understand why progress isn't happening at the speed that they desire, or that they have seen others progress at and hurtful insinuations start flying. But I digress.
So, yeah I get why the Gen Z's might really be in their feelings about diminished prospects for the future related to career aspirations and the money associated and just, well life, and securing that golden job and making a livable wage and planning for their future. I don't condone suicide, as its a permanent fix, to a hopeful temporary situation. And I'm
definitely not suicidal. But yeah... I think to be a well rounded person that your home life and work life have to be in sync. A person who has a good job , but is lonely, or has a bad personal life, they're miserable. And puts all their time/energy into work as a distraction. Likewiese someone who has a great relationship/marriage, but a sucky job, might also be miserable as well as they're not feeling like a complete individual. I'm blessed to have a very good home life, with a loving and supporting husband. But honestly I'm tired of working jobs and want a career at 47 yrs. old and the career thing, well it just doesn't seem to be taking off. Lots of repeated setbacks and disapointments. But I guess that's life, right? Right? You just gotta power throught it, right? Well here's me, trying to power through it.
TL; DR probably. But it was therapeutic, to finally putting all those feelings to words.