Okay, so. The whole glorious disaster has to be told for maximum appreciation.
Mid summer and I’m junior but holding a line, and I’m looking for the last half of the month off, so I’m on my second 6 day block of back-to-back-to back shortbacks. On the commute down a 4 day with HNL layover pops up in open time that reports just late enough that I can do it instead of my last 2 shortbacks. Naturally I swap into it. Do my first redeye, then show up for the Hawaii 4 day. Airplane is (naturally) late so I’m chilling in the boarding area waiting and the captain walks up. Old guy, sub-300 seniority. This is 5ish months prior to the new uniform launch and he’s already wearing the new shirt, no tie. Introduce myself, say something about how I traded into this from some redeyes. “There’s nothing for captains! I can’t work enough! I’m gonna go broke! I wrote the union complaining about it!”
Okayyyy.
Day 1 is 3 legs SFO-somewhere in Mexico (Cabo?)-LAX-LAS. He takes leg 1 and complains the whole way about how his ankle is •ed up and he’s just coming off sick leave for it. Even as PF hes got some weirdness, wants to do weird • with the secondary FPL when we get a route change, big sharpie writing stuff on the ATIS printout. I fly to LAX and I don’t remember him micromanaging too much but I’ve probably suppressed that memory. Anyway, we get off the plane at TBIT and apparently his ankle is bothering him so much that he has called a wheelchair. So, here he is getting pushed in a wheelchair in uniform with all the pax through that whole mile-long hallway to customs. Meanwhile I’ve never been outside the 60 gates at LAX so I have no idea how to get to our next gate, so I can’t really leave his ass, so I’m just walking behind him cringeing the whole way. After customs, he takes the handicap bus to the normal terminal. Anyway, he flies the last leg of the day into LAS, absolutely crushes in a flaps 40 landing, and bangs out sick at the hotel. Next morning the reserve captain for our leg to SEA (a dude from my crashpad coincidentally) asks me “who was your captain? The FAs said they were really happy to see me instead of him.”
Turns out he was one of the VX “Fab Five”.