Score one for Civil Liberties

The Air Force "demand reduction" program works like that. "Direct observation", whether there's probable cause or not, no ifs, ands, or buts. You report immediately when notified or are prosecuted under the UCMJ. Obviously I don't do drugs, but I still personally hate it because, being a reservist, when they pull me for the pee test I almost always have some hard to schedule class/training (i.e. Intel/tactics) going on during the UTAs that's going to make me NMR if I don't attend the class. And as luck would always have it, I've either already peed for the Doc (flight physical) or went to the bathroom immediately before I was notified. Another hour plus wasted because I don't have to go to the bathroom on command. Last time I drank probably 6-7 bottles of water/juice and really almost jacked myself up--not recommended. I'd actually prefer a blood test administered by a qualified technician (or at least that option If I don't have to go). As for the civilian job, much more humanely handled; the only time I've been tested was at the job interview (which, dumb me, showed up not having to use the restroom yet again, delaying the whole process). :drool:
 
Pretty hard to screw with a sample the way Southernjets does it.

Basically, you get an ACARS at top of descent that "An agent will be meeting XXXXXXXX, this is not a family emergency" or something like that.

Then they meet you at the airplane and personally walk you to the testing facility.

Pretty hard to surf to "KleenPee-R-US.com", arrange for expedited delivery and give a false sample in that situation.
 
Pretty hard to screw with a sample the way Southernjets does it.

Basically, you get an ACARS at top of descent that "An agent will be meeting XXXXXXXX, this is not a family emergency" or something like that.

Then they meet you at the airplane and personally walk you to the testing facility.

Pretty hard to surf to "KleenPee-R-US.com", arrange for expedited delivery and give a false sample in that situation.
just suck down a bunch of vinegar in the descent, and have you spare "whizanator" in your overnight bag... no problem:sarcasm:
 
just suck down a bunch of vinegar in the descent, and have you spare "whizanator" in your overnight bag... no problem:sarcasm:

Ewww! Just how to you get vinegar in flight, randomly? :)

*BIIIIING BONG!*

"Susie at one left!"

"Yeah Susie, this is Doug in the cockpit, can you hand me up like 15 of those balsamic vinaigrette packs?"
 
Ewww! Just how to you get vinegar in flight, randomly? :)

*BIIIIING BONG!*

"Susie at one left!"

"Yeah Susie, this is Doug in the cockpit, can you hand me up like 15 of those balsamic vinaigrette packs?"

The real fun part is I believe that the vinaigrette packs also have oil in them.

"I'm sorry Mr. Dough...you have tested positive for salad..."
 
Nicoise or garden, sir? :)

Typical nonrev/jumpseat answer: "whichever you have more of sir"

:D

I swear, every time I jumpseat somewhere, especially overseas I feel like I'm stealing.

I still need to party with you sometime when you're in AMS. Just let me know when you're heading out there and I'll try to do the same.
 
I got randomed the other day. When you land at 6am on an empty ramp, surprise, the feds don't meet you. I had to drive to an office somewhere. That said, when they uh "administer" the test they make you take everything out of your pockets and remove coats, bags, etc. I'm not saying it would be impossible to use the whizinator, but it would be a risk. A risk I doubt many people would be willing to take. Definitely does not seem like it would be real high on anyone's list of safety problems but good ole government will always find a way to create a problem in need of fixing.
 
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