Reflecting on Life

ZapBrannigan

ZapBrannigan

If it ain’t a Boeing, I’m not going. No choice.
I'm feeling melancholy tonight. I'm almost 37 years old. Why am I still job hunting after all of these years? Why am I not happy where I am? What the heck happened to the last 18 years? It seems like just yesterday I was leaving for college? Why did the first 18 years of life take SO LONG... and more importantly, why did the second 18 years go by SO FAST??!!

Do you ever have nights like this? When you reflect on your life and wonder if you've just been ded-reckoning? :crazy:
 
Are you trying to find happiness through your job? If so, no wonder you're still job hunting.

Happiness is family, kids, dogs, beer, boats, flying for fun, reading books, listening to music, laying in the grass... Not a defining career.
 
ZapBrannigan said:
I'm feeling melancholy tonight. I'm almost 37 years old. Why am I still job hunting after all of these years? Why am I not happy where I am? What the heck happened to the last 18 years? It seems like just yesterday I was leaving for college? Why did the first 18 years of life take SO LONG... and more importantly, why did the second 18 years go by SO FAST??!!

Do you ever have nights like this? When you reflect on your life and wonder if you've just been ded-reckoning? :crazy:
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You've got life-lessons under your belt that I could only dream to have achieved, experienced, and grown from. Standing offer to buy a beer and listen to all your war stories, if you're ever in a burg, or a ville, or a big city of some sort.

:rawk:
 
Dude.

I'm the same age you are and have the same thoughts sometimes.

It is these times where it is best for your sanity to concentrate on what you have instead of what's missing.

I have found, especially in my 30s, that being present, being in the moment, is far more important. You have experience to handle the moment fully and not worry so much. Enjoy it.
 
Thanks guys, was driving to DQ to pick up a treat for the family, blasting my iPod, when music from high school came on. You know how it goes.
 
I ride the lighting or master the puppets at least a few times a week. Still makes me feel young.
 
I was just giving Kristie the speech a last night about how seeking happiness through work is a thing society tells us to keep us in school when we're young and impressionable.

I used to "love" what I did. Then 9/11 hit and I realized that if I based my happiness upon a job, it was a one-way trip to Heartbreak Hotel because a job won't and can't love you back.

A company can throw money at you, make you feel like part of the team, but one little hiccup in the economy and a company will throw you away like eggs gone bad at the local grocery store without a second thought.

Virtually overnight, I went from "Holy cow, where do I stack all this cheddar when I become a four-year MD-88 captain?" to 50% paycut to finance Leo Mullin & Co's golden parachutes and "We'd like to furlough you to save more money, take your retirement and outsource your job, oh well. Shoulda went to HAA-VID workerbee chump".

I like my job, but if they were going to pay me the same amount not to go to work, I'd do that instead! :)

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my job, but I'd rather be home with my wife, or have time to get back into mountainbiking regularly or making fun of you dorks in the Lavatory.

60-70 hrs/month, groovy.

85-plus hours a month out of necessity? Catatonic nervosa.

I don't know, I'm just giving you my "rapidly approaching 40" rant :)

Like what you do (if you're lucky),
LOVE how you live and those around you.
 
Well Zap, at least this time you didn't watch a sappy-ass Will Smith movie this time that made you feel you're worth nothing to no one here, make you want to quit this place and then write a long-winded diatribe about it.

You gotta quit getting yourself down in the dumps. Look at what you've done and where you've been. Judging from your posting history, you don't seem happy with anything it is you're doing and are constantly second-guessing yourself and your employment decisions, and seeking a "grass is greener". That's evidenced by the "I'm NEVER going back to the airlines!!!" you once said; to when it was first posted here that Delta may be hiring, you post how "I've gotta get my app in yesterday!!!!". There are people on this board who would love to have had the opportunities you've had, both airlines as well as corporate. Remember, while you work yourself into a depression about your life and where its gone, there are those who would gladly substitute themselves in your place. Your perceived trash is someone else's treasure.
 
I get to fly an airplane to pay my rent. I get to bring people together and make the world small.
When I'm not doing that, I roll out with my friends and if I'm not in the #1 position I'm the best wingman I can be.
Proud to say I was in fact the best wingman possible tonight. Good times. :D

That said.. if I couldn't fly an airplane.. I'd be upset..but I'd get over it.

I wrote a thread about the dangers of Ego and how it tells you how you want everything you ever didn't have instead of what you did. Search it and read it again.
I give you a lot of crap, Zap, but at the end of the day you've got your "Special little guy" at home who thinks you're the greatest thing in the world.

I'd give up a major limb and possibly an eye for that. Maybe my flying gig, too. Chin up, man. Working sucks. Love is what matters. Love always happens now.
Go hug your kid and quit bitching. Or I'll stab you, Wal-mart. :rolleyes:
 
SFLAX said:
I ride the lighting or master the puppets at least a few times a week. Still makes me feel young.
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Now, Now, now... we don't want to know about you "mastering the puppets" or "riding the lightning." Don't you know that will make you go blind?

:cool:

What?!?!???





(Yes. It's a joke).
 
I'm 35. Where do the years go? They go away, that's where they go. What's important is the lessons we take away from what we've experienced...

Know what I've figured out? There's no such thing as "finding happiness". Happiness is like time & money. You don't find time, money or happiness. You MAKE time, money & happiness.

Life has thrown some pretty wicked curve balls at me, especially over the past 10 years. I have learned to change what I can, when it needs changing, deal with what I can't change (by accepting it or removing it from my life), and relishing every moment, like my favorite song coming on the radio, my kids' smiles, a beautiful photograph, a new contract gig, etc.
 
ZapBrannigan said:
Thanks all. Geez Mike D, don't hold back there. Tell me how you really feel. ;-)
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No, its not a hit on you at all; just an observation on maybe there's more success there that you've done for yourself than you give yourself credit for. You've been places, done different things, and experienced things that many people won't but would love to. Just seems from a number of your posts you have here that you don't possibly recognize the positive side to it. Though I could be completely wrong too.
 
You know guys, I think it was very brave of Zap to share his feelings with a bunch of strangers on an internet board. (yeah, yeah, I'm sure he knows some of you personally, but you get the idea...) Let's face it, men are conditioned and raised hide their innermost thoughts with anyone, lest they be looked at as weak. So, Zap, for your effort I give you this...:rawk:

Also, it was only a few days ago that Zap mentioned on a thread that he gets affection at home about as often as he changes his smoke detector battery. I'm thinking maybe that had something to do with his funk. There isn't much in life worse than feeling unloved/ignored at home.

Zap, I'm glad you're feeling a bit better (even if the guys gave you a bit of a hard time). There's nothing wrong with feeling sorry for yourself once in a while. It just makes you focus on the positive and try to get everything back on track. :)
 
ZapBrannigan said:
Thanks all. Geez Mike D, don't hold back there. Tell me how you really feel. ;-)
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I agree with MikeD in many ways. Also in the fact it's not a hit. You constantly evaluate your decision making just like many of us do, and you're not ego bound enough to say the old cliche, "I'd wouldn't change a thing." Just don't get wrapped up in it (if I could only take my own advice).

Winston Churchill doubted himself, probably after each time he was fired or disowned by his family.
Abe Lincoln had many regrets.
Alan Greenspan has regrets.
Even Sherlock Holmes has regrets (:) In the middle of these books, great read)

Great leaders and great minds fairly evaluate themselves and others. There's no shame in it.
 
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