I'm also an "only child" and my father died when I was 10. My mom never said "don't fly" but I knew from an early age she wanted me to focus on a "safe" job like music, which I was also into. I asked for flying lessons when I was around 12-13, but she said it was awfully expensive which probably was true but I took it as a "no way you're going to fly" comment. I pursued music, enjoying it, but still wishing to fly. Everytime I'd talk about it, even in high school, she'd look slightly worried and say "Oh well that's a responsible job" or "well of course that *is* a dangerous job" and things that are probably nothing more than a loving mother being a loving mother, but of course I took it as an excuse to be pissed off. After 3 years of post-college failure in the music field, I decided I was living on my own, doing my own thing, so why not? I started taking flying lessons secretly, then told her I was thinking of doing it (after I'd had about 5-6 hours already) and she was interested, and I felt only marginally supportive. I think it was simply her being scared to realize that I was fulfulling my dream and I would no longer be the same..she only expressed more interest when I became more "serious" about it (in her eyes): When I spent a few days in Florida looking at some flight schools I think she realized this was for real...I wasn't going to just stick with my private license; I was going to make a go of it. Since then she's been incredibly supportive financially and emotionally, and says she looks forward to riding as a passenger on a flight I'm flying one day!! I even took her flying last summer and flew over the house...she loved that. I can't offer advise since every family dynamic is different; but I thought I'd just share my personal experience; mothers (and fathers) are naturally protective and biased; it's natural, and you have to hope they're also understanding. I'm sure (even if she won't tell me) my mom loves the fact I'm flying because it's an impressive thing to do, and at the same time hates it because she goes to bed at night not knowing if I'm in the air somewhere happily enjoying the night or in a raging storm fighting to find the runway, or hanging out at home with my girlfriend.
--John