Pilot VS. Relationships

Well as some of you know i despiratley want to become an airline pilot. This weekend although i was in my cousins wedding. Having fun at the reception last night. Everyone drinking, (Getting a little drunk):sarcasm:. And talking with a bunch of chicks with my cousins. Then today we had the gift opening. just a few hours ago we were all talking in the backyard about the honeymoon.

Anyways im just thinking to myself. When i whant to get married, I whant to be able to see my wife. You know? Well enough of that stuff to my question. As a pilot do relationships work out as well? Or do they turn out the same? Or worse where you end up getting a devorce? Let me know from your expirences or what you think! thanks!!

Being a pilot and in a marriage can be touch at times but they do not all end in divorce. My wife and I have been married for 6 years tomorrow. I have been a pilot since we met so that helps. I was very open with her about my career and the time away and other sacrifices that are involved with it. She is very independent and understanding which helps a lot when I am on the road for 15-18 days. It is also hard on the kids too because you are a part time parent and you need to make the most of your time off. All I can say is be up front with your partner about your career and all its ups and downs (no pun intended) and introduce them to Jetgirls. It is a great support group for the wives of pilots.

Good Luck.
 
Anyone care to comment on premarital counseling? At the moment, I'm enduring the guantlet of premarital counseling that is the Catholic church. I'm not Catholic myself, so it seems both thorough and intimidating at times. For the sake of comparison, what is premarital counseling like when it isn't affiliated with a church?

I am getting married in a couple months......OH GOD! :D We are in the middle of marriage counseling. I was raised Lutheran and she is Catholic, almost the same thing. I really don't mind the classes, I actually get a little bored, but if I was worried about the answers on our test and how I would defend them, or how she would react would probably be reason enough to REALLY worry. We are both very easy going people, and we both are mature enough to have empathy and understanding. I let it be known that flying is my career choice. This means I won't be home every night, I may miss a B-Day party here, or a holiday there, but that doesn't mean we can't celebrate them when I'm home. I wanted to make it clear that I will occasionally miss some things and if she wants to argue about it she better come armed because I will have tons of ammo.

Back to the original post.....

Dude, marriage should be the last thing on your mind. The only things worth worrying about are the things you can control right now.
 
Anyone care to comment on premarital counseling? At the moment, I'm enduring the guantlet of premarital counseling that is the Catholic church. I'm not Catholic myself, so it seems both thorough and intimidating at times. For the sake of comparison, what is premarital counseling like when it isn't affiliated with a church?

I am not sure what it is like outside of the Catholic church but I am Catholic and my wife is Luthern. Marriage counseling is designed to make sure you both are ready for marriage and to get you to work on communicating with your spouse. The Catholic church is full of traditions and can be intimidating at times. Although the priest should be non-confrontational and understanding. If he isn't find another church IMO. You definately will want to discuss with your spouse how you will raise your kids in regards to religion. This could be a huge fight down the road unless you work it out now.

You may also want to discuss whether or not to do Holy Communion at the wedding. The Catholic church will not allow non-catholics to receive communion during the wedding. This can be awkward during a wedding of mixed faiths and may have the other faith feel somewhat alienated. My wife and I chose not to have communion at our wedding just for that reason.
 
As soon as the partner complains about you not being home for Christmas, New Years, Thanksgiving, Easter, Memorial Day weekend, July 4th, Labor day, and then to the more extreme your anniversary and birthdays (over the past 2 years, each of them has happened)
 
As soon as the partner complains about you not being home for Christmas, New Years, Thanksgiving, Easter, Memorial Day weekend, July 4th, Labor day, and then to the more extreme your anniversary and birthdays (over the past 2 years, each of them has happened)

Is there more to this statement? I read it as the first half of a sentence. Like, "as soon as . . . then"
 
uh they completely leave you?
Why would they leave if they know that is the case going in? It is not like you had a 9-5 job, then all of a sudden switch. If they can't accept the schedule, they should know that before it gets too serious.
 
Well as some of you know i despiratley want to become an airline pilot. This weekend although i was in my cousins wedding. Having fun at the reception last night. Everyone drinking, (Getting a little drunk):sarcasm:. And talking with a bunch of chicks with my cousins. Then today we had the gift opening. just a few hours ago we were all talking in the backyard about the honeymoon.

Anyways im just thinking to myself. When i want to get married, I want to be able to see my wife. You know? Well enough of that stuff to my question. As a pilot do relationships work out as well? Or do they turn out the same? Or worse where you end up getting a devorce? Let me know from your expirences or what you think! thanks!!

I would say its close to the same. Probably 50/50. The fact that I don't get along with my wife is unrelated to aviation. Aviation is probably prolonging our marriage due to time away and not arguing. I think the biggest problem with marriage is when you get married too young you can grow apart as you both settle into to your adult lives. That applies to aviation as well as regular jobs. I would caution against getting married to young in aviation so you can be more free to take that job with out hesitating or the need to commute. However every one has different desires and the importance of marriage and family means different things for others. Some people dream of having a family and some dream of being at a major airline. Neither is wrong just make sure you stay honest with yourself on what you want.
 
I can now say I've been their-experienced that, Long distance stuff, with a flight attendant none the less....she was based 300km from where I am and when we met, were involved she was just in training to be a f/a, no idea about aviation life, etc she wanted me to move to the city where she lived...i said give me a year to do it...well it went down hill after that...we both said if we had met maybe in a few years when she knew more about the life style and are accustomed to it we would be hoppping a plane to vegas to get married...but right now...two strong headed and stubbron people...didnt work out....funny thing is shes based in London, UK now... lol
 
Things that have to be forced to work should not work. Nature has a funny way of making everything that should work, work. I am just saying. I have been in a relationship for 27 months. The girl lives in New York and I am in Indiana. Having been through A LOT of relationships I can say that this one is the best, because it is not forced. We don't have to pretend to be someone who we are not. I don't know why people stick around with people they can't even stand. The bottom line is, you should be with someone who makes YOU feel special and makes YOUR LIFE BETTER. If they don't, why the hell would you want to live with them? Life is too short, buddy! :beer: good luck
 
Things that have to be forced to work should not work. Nature has a funny way of making everything that should work, work. I am just saying. I have been in a relationship for 27 months. The girl lives in New York and I am in Indiana. Having been through A LOT of relationships I can say that this one is the best, because it is not forced. We don't have to pretend to be someone who we are not. I don't know why people stick around with people they can't even stand. The bottom line is, you should be with someone who makes YOU feel special and makes YOUR LIFE BETTER. If they don't, why the hell would you want to live with them? Life is too short, buddy! :beer: good luck

How does she feel about your interest in big titted cartoon characters?
 
How does she feel about your interest in big titted cartoon characters?

Well considering she's the one who sent me the link, I suppose she's ok with it! hahahaha :clap:

....really though, if your relationship is harmed by a cartoon character? LOL. I'd say that's a pretty unstable relationship right there!! The best relationships have a solid core, of course. They are very resistant to the world. I have had really good friends with girlfriends who told them who to talk to, what they could and couldn't do, who they should act like, etc, etc. What a waste of a life. God gave you an ability to be yourself, so you mise well use it. And like I said before, relationships are all about synergy. If the synergy is not there, there is no point to the relationship. It has died. People who live together with no common purpose, no love, no respect? They are just bringing each other down. There are so many fresh people out there waiting to be loved and just waiting to be paired with that perfect person...does love take work? Oh sure, everything does. it's not always easy. But it is always worth it, if it's right. If it's not right, it's not worth it. Thats the bottom line.

I tell you something, if my girlfriend told me what I could and couldn't do, I'd have left a LONG time ago, as would she. We don't do that. That is stupid, it's selfish, and worst of all, it FAILS!! If I want to have band practice for 5 hours, and she wants to go out with her girlfriends, so be it. We both have seperate lives and we need to respect that. I have learned from mistakes. You can never control anybody. It doesn't work. Anyone who reads this can disregard it if they like, but like I said, it's just form years of failed relationships, and finally finding the right one. When I am with my girlfriend nothing can make me upset. I would never want to be with anyone else. I tried to say that with other girls; it was forced. This time around it's natural and true. So I either learned from the past, I am the luckiest mofo in the world, of both. But I can attest to true love and say it is NOT supposed to be a fight.

If it doesn't feel right, it isn't. Life is just too damn short!!

Take care!
 
Well considering she's the one who sent me the link, I suppose she's ok with it! hahahaha :clap:

....really though, if your relationship is harmed by a cartoon character? LOL. I'd say that's a pretty unstable relationship right there!! The best relationships have a solid core, of course. They are very resistant to the world. I have had really good friends with girlfriends who told them who to talk to, what they could and couldn't do, who they should act like, etc, etc. What a waste of a life. God gave you an ability to be yourself, so you mise well use it. And like I said before, relationships are all about synergy. If the synergy is not there, there is no point to the relationship. It has died. People who live together with no common purpose, no love, no respect? They are just bringing each other down. There are so many fresh people out there waiting to be loved and just waiting to be paired with that perfect person...does love take work? Oh sure, everything does. it's not always easy. But it is always worth it, if it's right. If it's not right, it's not worth it. Thats the bottom line.

I tell you something, if my girlfriend told me what I could and couldn't do, I'd have left a LONG time ago, as would she. We don't do that. That is stupid, it's selfish, and worst of all, it FAILS!! If I want to have band practice for 5 hours, and she wants to go out with her girlfriends, so be it. We both have seperate lives and we need to respect that. I have learned from mistakes. You can never control anybody. It doesn't work. Anyone who reads this can disregard it if they like, but like I said, it's just form years of failed relationships, and finally finding the right one. When I am with my girlfriend nothing can make me upset. I would never want to be with anyone else. I tried to say that with other girls; it was forced. This time around it's natural and true. So I either learned from the past, I am the luckiest mofo in the world, of both. But I can attest to true love and say it is NOT supposed to be a fight.

If it doesn't feel right, it isn't. Life is just too damn short!!

Take care!
Whats weird is i know a kid at Purdue that has a girlfriend from New York....
 
Anyone care to comment on premarital counseling? At the moment, I'm enduring the guantlet of premarital counseling that is the Catholic church. I'm not Catholic myself, so it seems both thorough and intimidating at times. For the sake of comparison, what is premarital counseling like when it isn't affiliated with a church?
When I was married, we had to go through the premarital counseling from the Catholic Church. Did it do any good? I would say no. I don't know what it would have been like from a private professional.
 
How old are you, 16? You should be working on trying desperatly to get laid, not worry about a marriage you may or may not have in another decade!

I mean for reals, good job with thinking ahead, but try not to think TOO far ahead.

That's some good advice :beer:
 
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