Parents and flying

Jshutt64

Jshutt64

Well-Known Member
Okay, so I've ran into a little bit of a problem of late.

I'm 19, and I have my private. When I fly, I fly mainly with my college buddies who are around the same age.

However, ever since I've been taking my friends up their respective parents have started viewing me with a bit of disdain. They don't want their kids flying, and when they hear that a 19 year old sophomore is taking them up they freak out.

My girlfriend's father even went as far as to "prohibit" her flying with me (meaning, if she does they won't pay tuition) because he thinks that because of my age and the inherent dangers of flying I cannot be mature or responsible enough to handle an airplane and I'm sure to kill his daughter.

My question is this...is there any way to convince these parents that I am a good and safe pilot and can be trusted? Or am I stuck forever in this situation?

Thanks. :)
 
Jshutt64 said:
Okay, so I've ran into a little bit of a problem of late.

I'm 19, and I have my private. When I fly, I fly mainly with my college buddies who are around the same age.

However, ever since I've been taking my friends up their respective parents have started viewing me with a bit of disdain. They don't want their kids flying, and when they hear that a 19 year old sophomore is taking them up they freak out.

My girlfriend's father even went as far as to "prohibit" her flying with me (meaning, if she does they won't pay tuition) because he thinks that because of my age and the inherent dangers of flying I cannot be mature or responsible enough to handle an airplane and I'm sure to kill his daughter.

My question is this...is there any way to convince these parents that I am a good and safe pilot and can be trusted? Or am I stuck forever in this situation?

Thanks. :)
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Sorry about that man, that sucks. I would most likely try to explain to the father of the gal that there is a lot you have to go through. They just don't let immature teenagers fly, there's a lot of discipline involved with flying.
 
Even when you're almost 30 and you've flown as a CFI/airlines/whatever, some parents might still act like that! My wife's parents wouldn't allow her on an airplane flown by me before we got married. It's just how life is... Some people are just deathly scared of flying, and they'll use whatever excuse to keep their kids out of the air.

Now, they'll point out your age. Later, they'll use some other excuse (safety record, old planes ,etc). You try to educate people as much as possible, but in the end some folks simply have their minds set about flying and you won't change that.
 
I think the problem is a lot of people don't understand aviation or the discipline and dedication it takes to achieve one's private certificate. You could also try offering a flight to him so he can see your abilities first hand.

If that doesn't work out, let me know. I'd be happy to do you a favor and take your girlfriend flying. :)
 
I have run into things like that. My girlfriend's dad didn't want me flying with her unless a CFI was in the plane but even then the CFI hadn't been instructing long enough for his approval. We went anyways following her mothers remarks that he needed to get used to it and she was fine with it. Apparently I needed to do a checkout flight with him before I could take her up, and no he has no flying experience.

But on the other hand I flew with a buddy of mine, current SIC in Lear 25s and his dad who flew for American for years just wanted to make sure that if we flew at night we took a twin and not a single.

So either way you you're going to experience something like that. A lot of people seem kind of scared of the private pilot single-engine cessna thing. I've even pulled that card before. My brother called me and said he was going up with his friend who was working on his private but his instructor "was cool with him taking passengers". I told my brother that first of all he can't take passengers and secondly if I were him I wouldn't go up with someone unless they had their instrument rating and if he had any questions to call me.
 
I agree with the parents. Age is not so much a factor in my eyes as much as the lack of experience is.
 
Don't take it personally as much as you want to. I know it feels like an attack on you but it isn't. It's an irrational reaction to something they don't understand and they fear. Your job is to help them get over that fear and how you choose to do it will very much influence their opinions of your maturity level and of aviation as a whole.

The best thing you can do is to have a frank discussion with them on the matter. Go to dinner with them and do nothing but ask questions for the first bit. Find out why they think the way they do. Then, after that is done take the parents to the airport and walk them through the full pre-flight from checking the weather to sumping the fuel. Let them see and understand the process and by doing so they will see just how professional you must behave to do what you do.

You're not going to get anywhere by being offended or by being "smart" about their reactions. The best thing you can do is treat them with respect and ease their fears. If you get angry then you will confirm their fears and you're sunk.

I dealt with this all the time with students and their parents. Your job is to convince them that you have a vested interest in returning their daughter safely to them. After all, your butt is sitting right next to hers and there is no future in being a smoking hole.
 
esa17 said:
Don't take it personally as much as you want to. I know it feels like an attack on you but it isn't. It's an irrational reaction to something they don't understand and they fear. Your job is to help them get over that fear and how you choose to do it will very much influence their opinions of your maturity level and of aviation as a whole.

The best thing you can do is to have a frank discussion with them on the matter. Go to dinner with them and do nothing but ask questions for the first bit. Find out why they think the way they do. Then, after that is done take the parents to the airport and walk them through the full pre-flight from checking the weather to sumping the fuel. Let them see and understand the process and by doing so they will see just how professional you must behave to do what you do.

You're not going to get anywhere by being offended or by being "smart" about their reactions. The best thing you can do is treat them with respect and ease their fears. If you get angry then you will confirm their fears and you're sunk.

I dealt with this all the time with students and their parents. Your job is to convince them that you have a vested interest in returning their daughter safely to them. After all, your butt is sitting right next to hers and there is no future in being a smoking hole.
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:yeahthat:
 
I had the same problem the past summer, but like what everyone else is seeming to say, the best way to convince parents is showing what you had to go through to get your private certificate...
 
Like everyone above, I've run into this problem before. The only thing I've had that helped me was word-of-mouth. One person at work wanted to go flying but didn't think it was safe. Another person at work went with and came back raving about it. After that the person with reservations came up no problems.

On the other hand, I've had a friend and her 7 year old come with me while her husband was underway on a ship. She called him and her parents after we landed and from the sounds of it, I thought they were all about going to have heart attacks. When I inquired, she said, "Oh I didn't tell them before hand. They would never have approved, thinking you were going to kill their grandbaby." Despite that it looked like I got the little kid hooked into flight training when he gets older. :)
 
When I was 17 and a senior in high school I had a couple friends who always wanted to fly, so I took them for rides and such. Most would go regardless of what their parents said. I've had to brief a couple sets of parents though. Just act professionally, tell them that you are completely committed to safety, they will wear down eventually. And if they don't, then what they don't know, wont hurt them :-p
Also, you're more likely to get her pregnant, than get her killed in an airplane, if I had to guess....
 
Here's one for ya...my parents still will not fly with me...granted, I cannot take them in the Lear anywhere, but they refuse to get into a "small airplane" due to it being unsafe. It has nothing to do with me (or so I tell myself).;)

I fly Lear 60's now, and the last time it was discussed, I was a freight pilot with 2000+TT. Oh, and my mom worked for AA for 37 years as a flight attendant.

Go figure. My own parents will probably never fly with me as the pilot!! They love the plane I fly now, as I've been able to show them the Lear when I worked in the US, but they refuse to fly in small airplanes.:dunno:

I wouldn't worry about it too much!!
 
Take them up to see for themselves, and EMPHASIZE the safety protocols and steps you take to ensure a safe flight.
 
Stone Cold said:
Here's one for ya...my parents still will not fly with me...granted, I cannot take them in the Lear anywhere, but they refuse to get into a "small airplane" due to it being unsafe. It has nothing to do with me (or so I tell myself).;)

I fly Lear 60's now, and the last time it was discussed, I was a freight pilot with 2000+TT. Oh, and my mom worked for AA for 37 years as a flight attendant.

Go figure. My own parents will probably never fly with me as the pilot!! They love the plane I fly now, as I've been able to show them the Lear when I worked in the US, but they refuse to fly in small airplanes.:dunno:

I wouldn't worry about it too much!!
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AAAAhhhh, I know how you feel. Dad will go flying with me and he loves it. Mom, on the other hand, is a white-knuckle flier on a 747 and it gets worse as it gets smaller. I doubt she'd fly with me if I was taking her up in a Dash let alone a 172. That's pretty much impossible!
 
Oh I am actually incredibly good at changing thier views. I used to do the same thing a few times a week in high school (yay pro-rata priced time building) and ran into this quite a lot.

I would often have phone converstations or even go over and meet the parents to let them meet me, see that I am actually mature enough to do this, explain to them why it is so safe, and of course answer any of thier questions. Huge emphasis on what esa17 said as well, respect and understanding is the basis of all of these discussions, no matter how over-protective or ignorant they might be. Many of my points are comparing flying to driving.

My main points were usually -

1. The statistics on how safe aviation is compared to driving a car.
2. The strict maintinence standards that these airplanes are kept too.
3. Do you spend 20 minutes making sure that you car is ready to drive before each trip?
4. Fewer things to hit in the air; less traffic
5. Standards of knowledge/skill required for a drivers license, compared to a pilot's license
6. I feel safer in an airplane than I do in a car
7. My glider licenese seemed to help in comforting a few people (worried about the engine)

There were a bunch more, but these are a few that I could come up with right here.
 
As a parent, I would prabably have a hard time letting my 18-19yr old daughter fly with someone as young and not knowing what kind of experience and ability the pilot has. Nothing against you, maybe its just the fact that I have seen lots of incompetent pilots that shouldn't have a cert to begin with....:dunno:
 
As others have said, don't take it personal. I have the same situation and just accept the fact that parents who are normally nervous of flying can't comprehend an 18 year old flying an aircraft.

After informing a parent once that I was a pilot, I was asked if they had ever let me fly... The biggest challenge is that people lack information on aviation.
 
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