Parents and flying

Jacob Wall said:
Also bring him the statistics that explain how GA flying is safer than driving.
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Where does one find these statistics? I looked for these stats for a similar reason (only it was the wives of my friends instead of their parents) and the only stats I found showed the opposite, that GA is generally anywhere from 6 to 13 times more fatal than driving (based on fatalities per 100 million miles traveled)
 
Honestly, it's best if you just abide by the parent's wishes. Most of my friends won't go up with me, even though my wife repeatedly vouches for how safe I am. It's not me or you, it's the number of guys out there who turn airplanes into lawn darts. It's just something we have to live with.

I've been flying GA since I was 16, and even I would be reluctant if I were the parent. The last guy who asked me to safety pilot for him killed himself and two others in a stall/spin/die crash three days before we were supposed to go up. Unless it's someone I've flown with and/or know, I don't think I'd want my wife going up in a piston single engine with a non commercial pilot.
 
Murdoughnut said:
Honestly, it's best if you just abide by the parent's wishes. Most of my friends won't go up with me, even though my wife repeatedly vouches for how safe I am. It's not me or you, it's the number of guys out there who turn airplanes into lawn darts. It's just something we have to live with.

I've been flying GA since I was 16, and even I would be reluctant if I were the parent. The last guy who asked me to safety pilot for him killed himself and two others in a stall/spin/die crash three days before we were supposed to go up. Unless it's someone I've flown with and/or know, I don't think I'd want my wife going up in a piston single engine with a non commercial pilot.
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Sorry to hear about his death.


I still would feel safer flying with a teenager than driving with one just because I know first hand how much discipline is involved with flying, and a lot of teenagers are crazyyyy when driving.
 
If it makes you feel any better, my ex's father was a CFI/CFII/MEI and her mother would not allow her father to take her up.

As such, she was afraid to fly with me. She went up once with me on a discovery flight with a CFI but that was it. Wouldn't fly with me beyond that.
 
Thanks for all the great advice, guys. I don't take it personally, but it just kind of sucks.

A couple things...

Where does one find these statistics? I looked for these stats for a similar reason (only it was the wives of my friends instead of their parents) and the only stats I found showed the opposite, that GA is generally anywhere from 6 to 13 times more fatal than driving (based on fatalities per 100 million miles traveled)
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This is actually true, I looked it up myself for the same reason. However, I think of it this way. If someone is flying with me frequently, they'd probably only be flying with me an hour a week tops. The average American spends 10 hours a week in their car. So, a person that flies with me once a week is running the same risk as driving their car that week.

I'll try to talk with her parents and convince them of my focus on safety and my ability to maintain a safe flight throughout. I acknowledge that I am a low-time pilot with 60-70 hours, but you can't get experience without flying, and what's the fun by yourself? :)
 
Since you brought up your actual time (60-70hrs), I do remember when I had 60 hrs. No way would I have taken my son up in the plane with me then. Maybe cause I was 33 when I got my PPL and was a little more cautious due to age, or maybe I was just a little paranoid and couldn't swallow the fact that I could be the reason he could be injured. At that time, believe it or not, I knew my limitations and I knew I had VERY limited experience.

So I guess what I am saying, is until you have a child and know where they are coming from you prabably won't understand, and you really can't blame them. And you do realize you are prabably fighting a battle you wont win!:)
 
I'm 20, almost 21, and I'm not sure my mother is totally ok with me flying all the time. She's gone with me, but I have a feeling she is uneasy any time she knows I'm flying. On the other hand, my father doesn't have any issues with it. He's gone on long distance, IFR cross-country flights with me. The one thing that really stresses out my mother, is when both me and my brother (private pilot, 18) end up flying together. She just isn't as happy about it, but with time, hopefully it gets better.

I've got friends who have wanted to go with me, but have parents who say they can't go. Best thing to do is respect the decision. You can try to convince them otherwise, but it isn't likely. I don't think I'd be comfortable taking someone with me, who I knew had parents who said no to flying. Wouldn't want to be in the situation to explain what happened, if something bad happened to their child, when I knew they said that the child couldn't fly.
 
Stone Cold said:
Here's one for ya...my parents still will not fly with me...granted, I cannot take them in the Lear anywhere, but they refuse to get into a "small airplane" due to it being unsafe. It has nothing to do with me (or so I tell myself).;)

I fly Lear 60's now, and the last time it was discussed, I was a freight pilot with 2000+TT. Oh, and my mom worked for AA for 37 years as a flight attendant.

Go figure. My own parents will probably never fly with me as the pilot!! They love the plane I fly now, as I've been able to show them the Lear when I worked in the US, but they refuse to fly in small airplanes.:dunno:

I wouldn't worry about it too much!!
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I have that same problem. My parents will only fly commercial if they have to, and will most likely NEVER get into a plane with me. They will not not fly in a "small plane".
 
Parents worry about their children. Don't take it personally. I love flying but would NEVER let my kids in a plane with someone who is relatively inexperienced. BTW, I'm the same way about drivers.
 
I feel fortunate to have had parents involved in aviation and subsequently immersed me in avaition as well. Hell my initials are ETA for a reason! I took my daughter flying shortly after I attained my private certification. Did I subject her to something dangerous? I don't believe so.

I understand people fear certain things in life. Educating them on the aspects of training you undertook to attain your certificate and the preflight standards you have set for yourself are probably a good idea. Then if they finally still don't want their child to go flying with you acknowledge that and move on. Honor their decision. In your case it is really the womans choice since she is 19 but still under the parents guise for financial reasons. Find other people to go with you. Get some cougar to go!
 
Offer to take her parents up on a calm clear and a million day is what I'd do. If they refuse there aint much you can do. If she wants to go up with you she's gonna do it whether her parents say yes or not, of course.

As far as my mom, my grandfather was a private pilot and she flew with him a couple times, so she's been there done that. I don't ask and she doesn't offer ;) I'm sure she will someday... My dad always said no way, but then I forced him to go with me on an SF Bay Tour at night and he absolutely loved it. ;)
 
Ajax BU said:
I have run into things like that. My girlfriend's dad didn't want me flying with her unless a CFI was in the plane but even then the CFI hadn't been instructing long enough for his approval. We went anyways following her mothers remarks that he needed to get used to it and she was fine with it. Apparently I needed to do a checkout flight with him before I could take her up, and no he has no flying experience.

But on the other hand I flew with a buddy of mine, current SIC in Lear 25s and his dad who flew for American for years just wanted to make sure that if we flew at night we took a twin and not a single.

So either way you you're going to experience something like that. A lot of people seem kind of scared of the private pilot single-engine cessna thing. I've even pulled that card before. My brother called me and said he was going up with his friend who was working on his private but his instructor "was cool with him taking passengers". I told my brother that first of all he can't take passengers and secondly if I were him I wouldn't go up with someone unless they had their instrument rating and if he had any questions to call me.
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Just to clarify, it is perfectly legal to do a training flight with passenger(s). I am sure your brother's friend meant that he could ride in the backseat while the friend did a lesson. If not, well then that's just crazy.
 
guywhoflies said:
Just to clarify, it is perfectly legal to do a training flight with passenger(s). I am sure your brother's friend meant that he could ride in the backseat while the friend did a lesson. If not, well then that's just crazy.
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No, he meant up in the front with him on a flight that should have been solo. I'm sorry, I should have stated that. But he told my brother that he would let him take control and fly for a bit.

Again, sorry for leaving that part out.
 
Ajax BU said:
No, he meant up in the front with him on a flight that should have been solo. I'm sorry, I should have stated that. But he told my brother that he would let him take control and fly for a bit.

Again, sorry for leaving that part out.
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And the instructor was cool with that?! There's something very wrong here...
 
I don't know if his instructor really knew what he was planning. I couldn't imagine any CFI taking that stance.
 
MikeD said:
Is she a Seatclutcher? ;)
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I want to know how these people use the bathroom on longer flights. I mean intentionally, not from turbulence.

I actually seek out this kind of person when I fly commercially though. Only had one close to me so far. A gorgeous 24 year old just out of college (I was 17). Switched seats with someone near the end of the flight and talked to her till we landed. Explained the noises that were going on then just BSed about I don't even know anymore. When we landed I said, "see it isn't that bad." By that point she was talking with her hands and noticeably relaxed.

The point isn't that I failed to get a lay, truthfully, I was too innocent at the time anyways. The point is, people are scared of flying because they don't know anything about it.

My advice, try and get the parents, or father at least, in the air with you. Or pitch in with your GF and buy dad an introductory flight for x-mas. Demonstrate to him what this means to you and show him what this field is about. Maybe if he can understand your passion and a little bit about the field he might be more receptive to it. Just don't push!
 
I see this as a control issue twixt child and parents.
My Dad literally kicked my ass for sitting on a motorcyle with no engine in it, 'cause his rule was no M'Cycles.
He passed 15 years ago and I put in about 150 miles today on one of the finest rides I 've ever seen.
People need to keep their thumb off other peopl's neck,..
Parent's have to remember the more they fuss, they more attractive the Fussee appears to young ladies!
 
It's not an unreasonable request. Many parents won't let teen-aged kids ride in cars with teen-aged drivers, and accident statistics prove that to be a wise restriction. Face it, young men take chances that old men don't. That's just the facts of life.

Why don't you just tell her father that you respect his wishes and won't take his daughter flying without his permission. Tell him you respect his decision and then drop it. Start working on your instrument rating and let him see how dedicated you are, but more important, let him see that you are a man who respect's the wishes of your girlfriend's father. He may never let her fly with you, but you'll be much farther ahead in life if you earn his respect.
 
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